I've got to get out of this place

So from whence do I blog? From Vilanculos? From Komatipoort perhaps? No? At least from Joburg. Surely! Nope…from my bluddy lounge!

Why... Why am i not well on my way to Mozambique?
why am i still here
instead of here



or more specifically here...
coz here it looks like this:

oooh brace yourselves... it's not a pretty story.

I was just about home yesterday all ready to leave when i got a call from Harry... the guy who lives in our flat.

He got home and couldn't find Zac (the male dog). Zebu (his wife/neice) was going crazy at the wall. Harry looked below the wall into the neightbours place (their property is lower than ours) and saw zac lying there in the sand covered in blood.

He jumped over and fetched him then the neighbours pitched up. It seems Zac had fallen into their garden and their 5 SIFF DOGS had mauled him... remember this post? Same dogs.

So Harry asks them how long ago it happened. They said about an hour. "So why didn't you let us know?" Harry asks.

"Why you getting so agressive?" they reply "maybe next time we'll take him to the vet so he can finish the job off properly."

Ok.... (breath, breath, breath). Those #$%^&*(#$%^&*()#%$^&*() fill in your own decriptives... seriously, what kind of sick sick people would leave a small dog in the sand to bleed to death??? If harry hadn't noticed he was missing that is exactly what could have happened!

We have never even MET these people so it's not like they could have an issue with us! They are obviously just evil awful people who should not be allowed to own dogs.

So we took Zac to the vet and he got a bunch of injections and stitches and stuff. The vet said it was very unusual that the majority of his bites are in the front. (Ha! That's our boy... he faced those 5 mutts head on!)

So today Zac is a lot better. Up and walking around. Chipper - probably stoned from all the medication. We will leave in about 20 minutes, so adios amigos. I will miss you all. My SMS roaming number is +27 82 929 0348.... send me love!

PS. Do you think zac's nightmare was a premonition of the fight??

PSS. What steps do you think we can take against the neighbours on our return?
A lawyer's letter from a mate to scare them - in terms of them threatening our dog?
TP their house?

Invite them to dinner and kill them with kindness?

All suggestions are welcome. I can not bare people who are cruel to animals...

Merry Christmas from Caz and her Band

Click here to see how we plan to see in the new year somewhere in the bundus!!!!

Nightmare on Abelia street

So it's no more sleeps... tonight we leave for our Big Trip. AT LONG BLUDDY LAST!
So this is how it's going down...

The characters:

• The Band (the hot one)
  
• The Caz (the supposed damsel in distress who is actually the hero of the story)
  
• The Joshwaaaa (AKA The Oracle. their faithful friend of old, best man at the wedding, part of every major adventure they've ever had, and in fact, the one who introduced The Band to The Caz)
  
• The Harry (the youngest and newest to the group – AKA replacement Josh. While Josh lives in JHB, Harry lives in their flat. He's become part of the family and The Band and The Caz keep tabs on him ensuring that he is home within his curfew and gets a decent meal every once in a while)

The plot:
A couple of weeks ago our characters buy a Toyota Hilux aka The BOOSTER (bought at a steal on auction - bless this financial crisis) and pimp it up. Much planning and packing and purchasing and borrowing ensues while our heroine organizes 2 weeks free camping on Bazaruto island (all in a day’s work!) and bakes rusks and crunchies in her spare time.

4 weeks will be spent driving, eating, sleeping, dhowing, snorkeling, beach batting, exploring, birding, bribing, swimming, reading, pokering, backgammoning and white water rafting. Firstly we go to the tropical paradise of Bazaruto – gorgeous island off Mozambique. Then it’s off to Mana Pools – the wildest park in Africa. No fences around camps. Unaccompanied walking permitted. After that possibly Lake Kariba or possibly not and then…VIC FALLS. We’ll white water raft and should be able to spend a night or 2 in the 5 star Matetsi Lodge through Josh.

Where are we now:
The chalk board countdown is over and it’s no sleeps til we leave. This evening we drive through to JHB. Sunday morning we leave for Vilanculos in Mozambique. On Monday we take a dhow over to Bazaruto….

The house is chaos. The car is ready. The packing will be done tonight. The audio books have been taken out the library (I really am that dorky!). Music is being burned to CDs. Tensions are high all around.

The Fine Print
Our plans are not set in stone. We are all pretty chilled and will play things by ear. If things really go bad in Zim we’d have to make a call on whether it is still wise to go that route. We could do both Mana Pools and Vic Falls from the Zambia side if needs be.

The Muttlies
Shame, I haven't blogged about my stepdogs in a long time and actually a delicate truce has occurred. See when I got into my gardening phase I realised that the Zac (also known as the Caz-backwards) and the Zebu can be useful allies - I was trying to dig up grass for a veggie patch and it was exhaaaaausting. Then I invited the pooches with an encouraging "dig!dig!" and pointed where I needed digging and in about 5 mins I had a gorgeous patch of ground. Cheap labour, you got to love it!

Well needless to say, with all the packing going on the pooches are getting mightily depressed. They KNOW! Shame. Last night at about 3am we were woken to the most spine chilling mournful howling. "Arrooooooooooorooooowoooooooooooooooooo". Had Zac been bitten by a snake? We went to look for him and called and called and he didn't come. Eventually the Band found him still fast asleep and in the throes of a terrible nightmare. I suspect he dreamt that we were going away for a month....

Shame!

he (also) finally did it....

The Band himself posted his very first comment on my blog and there is even talk about him doing a guest post, he enjoyed it so much.

(The difference between guys and girls is that if i was reading the 10 things that the Band finds most annoying about me i'd probably leave miffed. Not The Band. He cackled evilly and no doubt made some internal vows to step up the efforts in the annoying the Caz department!)

Slyde and Glugs even got special mentions from him! fame indeed.
Go check his comment on this post, pay no heed to his insiduous lies and allegations though...

Oh and pleeeeeeeeeeeez all comment - it will make his day.

he finally did it...

The 11th commandment:

Thou shalt have sexy times for 7 days.

Have you guys heard about this? This pastor has challenged the marrieds in his church to have sex every day for a week. Well I say Halleluia! Preach it brother!!! :)

The low down on the Band

The answers to your questions about my husBand (please note all the linking and bolding and effort so you can forgive me for taking so long!) BTW I really thought you lot would come up with saucier questions.. i don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed!

From Being Brazen (by the way congrats on the 200th post!! I'm 9 posts away!):

"How did you meet the Band?"

We were in class together. We studied conservation. When we did meet through a friend we were sitting outside and a "bergie" (the Cape Town word for homeless person - berg = mountain in Afrikaans) was quite taken with me. the Band tried to SELL ME to him. mm. Needless to say we never liked each other. Not through all the disections practicals where I'd get home and find an eye (or worse) in my bag. Not when he made me cry by claiming his grandad was a nazi who had a gas chamber in his house. Not with his looong hair. Not when I found out that he was crashing my party ie going to work on this crocodile conservation project in the Okavango delta at the same time as me. But when we there it all changed........

From Bruce:

"What type of music does the Band play?"

The Band is honestly not very musical... but he does have rhythm ;)

From Slyde:

"How long has the Band been together?"

Well Slyde, I mean I guess I could ask his mom the conception details, but I'd rather not so I'll have to wing it and say since approx 9 months before his birthday... which makes it since January 1981.

And as for us? Since March 2003...

From Tamara:

"What does the Band do?"

He works for our church full time. He's not a pastor, he does things like organising art exhibitions and doing a website and managing a bunch of staff. Probably the nicest thing about his job is that he gets to do nice and stuff and it counts as work. So if some little old lady asks him to help her tune in her tv he could go do that in work hours and it would be legit.

"What made you fall for him?"

ooooh. now we're getting personal. Ok fine. I had been badly hurt in the past. The Band liked me for a long time and I was not interested. But we were best friends and I loved the way he was to me. So consistently caring. Actually not only to me (but especially to me!) he is one of the kindest and most generous people i know. Not a push over. Not a sap. Knows who he is and what he wants but cares about people. He pretty much refused to give up on me.

"What does he do that drives you nuts?"

This is a bad time to ask because A) I'm sitting here munching on cashews and B) he has been away in Durbs since Friday and I am at that point when someone has been away so long (hey, 3 sleeps is long!!) that they seem flawless and perfect.

I guess something which MURDERS me is that when he cooks he leaves everything open and out and creates CHAOS in the kitchen. When I cook, I clean and pack away and wash as I go so that by the time the meal is served the kitchen is more or less clean.

"Does he read your blog?"

Nope! But I often tell him about you guys.

From Gill:

"Does he comment on your blog?"

Nope :)

"What's the age difference between you?"

He is 7 months older than me, but born in different years.

From EXMI:

"What are his 10 best and 10 most annoying features?"

Now are we talking physical or not?
hmmm ok, i'll just wing it.

10 best:

• SUCH A GREAT BUM


• Great legs


• Gorgeous mouth


• Beautiful eyes


• Great... oh, that's not appropriate :)


• He has a sense of humour which is actually kookier than mine and so we share this connection that only we really get.


• He's an adventurer. We have done some incredible things together - hitchhiking through Botwana, hiking the wild coast, etc and in 11 sleeps we'll be on our way to Bazaruto!


• He's so different with me than with anyone else. I love that.


• He's very competitive as am i and i dig it. We get quite snotty with each other over stuff. We had The Backgammon Challenge going for months and months. The first to win 50 games got to decide how we spent our holiday this year. It got soooo intense, I think he may have actually chucked a chair or something when I finally won in Addo Elephant Park last year. HAHAHA That furious reaction MADE MY DAY. Nothing more satisfying than beating a sore loser!
  
• He holds me tight. We spoon and when my alarm goes off at 5.20 (Bootcamp, people!) I start to get up and in his sleep he pulls me back and holds me tighter.
  
• He often buys me gifts. But not just random bunches of roses, he gets creative. He'll go to a second hand book store and dig out an autographed copy of a book by one of my favourite authors. He'll buy me 50 bucks worth of cashew nuts coz he knows i love them. Stuff like that.

10 worst:

• He always forgets to indicate.
• He smses while driving.
• He borrows my car and returns it to me empty.
• He is not opposed to leaving random stuff all over the house and garden.
• He refers to the mutts as my son and daughter. That REALLY gets me.
• He can get a phrase in his head and repeat it ALL DAY - driving 14 hours to Joburg next week could be baaaaaaaad.
• I know, I know, sorry, but it's true and it bugs me: he leaves the toilet seat up.
• He is not very... um... thorough when he washes the dishes. They are ussually still covered in gunk so I just end up rewashing.
• He refuses to cut his hair regularly and ends up with crazy Kramer hair.
  

"how did the proposal go down??"

Phew... that's a long answer but i will give the quick version. We randomly (or so i thought) decided to just drive and see where the road took us (it was a public holiday the next day). Eventually snuck into a nature reserve on the West Coast at about 2am. Slept there in the car on a mattress. The next morning we went for a walk on this utterly pristine beach. No one and nothing there. Had a picnic under this huge rainbow. As we walked back he kept pointing out little shells and stuff in the sand. Eventually i noticed a little bag. I asked him what it was. He didn't know. Asked if i knew. I didn't know. Opened it and inside was a box, in that was a ring. Then he proposed.

"what's the worst he's done to piss you off?"

He arrived home from Joburg with a mini mutt. He already had the one dog (which I wasn't crazy about) and then he arrived back and "Surprise!" a puppy! I was LIVID. Nearly broke up with him. He offered to get rid of her. I said it was fine. He proposed the next day.

"who has a bigger temper?"

Well he has a far quicker temper than me. It takes a loooooooooooooooooooot to get me angry. When I do get really angry it can take a while to get me out of The Zone. That's probably only happened about 3 times in 8 years we've known each other.

"who's the bigger scaredy cat (between you guys of course)"

Me. Spiders I can not stand. Bats, I am not fond of either. But other than that I'd say we are both pretty hardcore. We have caught crocodiles for goodness sake.

From Glugster:

"Does he have all his toes and fingers?"
Yes, Glugs.

A little behind

is what I'm getting from all this exercise.
waa haa haa
ok actually a little behind is what i clearly am.
But better late than never bla bla bla bla so I am now responding to this request from EXMI.

The LowDown on the Band
*chuckles nervously* well... I mean surely my level of transparency depends on who I know that reads this blog... but what the hell. I'll tell.

Ok, *exhales* what do you want to know?

Perhaps it's better if we do this:
You can ask any question you want about the band and I will post answers to all... Deal?

I'm baaaack :)

It's been a long time (long time) I shouldn'ta left you (left you)

And that is as much rap as I am prepared to type out.

So the countdown to the holidays has begun... 18 sleeps til we leave for paradise.
The band and I are planning a trip of monstrous proportions. First we are going to BAZARUTO where we will camp.
Now from what i understand, the island actually doesn't have a campsite. We are going to be roughing it in a big way - no running water even!! The only reason we can camp there is because i work for who i do. Perks.

Anyway, it's going to be wicked.

Then the plan is to try get to Lake Kariba, Mana Pools and Vic Falls. We are fairly disorganised, but we'll happily go with the flow and decide along the way.

I am soooooooooooo excited. I have been looking forward to an adventure like this all year! YAY!

HAPPY HOLE O WEEN

:)

Meeting the people of BLOGLAND

So anyway, I am sooooooooper keen to meet all the Joburgers among you, but as with business trips in general time is short. I propose we do one of the following:

EITHER:

LUNCH on Wednesday at 13:00 either at the Nelson Mandela Square in Sandton (anyone got a good suggestion for a restaurant) or at my favourite lunch spot in JHB - Tasha's! mmmmm

OR:

A LITTLE SUNDOWNER on Wednesday after work I guess at Nelson Mandela Square (guess who only knows how to find two places in JHB!!!)

Let me know if you guys are keen.

PS YOU MUST CLICK THIS LINK (LOVING THE BARMAN!!!) hahaha
http://1227.com

In and out, in and out

you little sickos... I was referring to BREATHING!!!

So this* is me:

And that is why this post is so short and I am not being a good commenter or replier to comments!

(*MENTAL NOTE: Searching google images for "headless chicken" is not an activity for the faint of heart!)

Ketchup

So scarce, I know. Sorry sorry!
Last week was a good week, I:

• was on the radio twice (fortune and fame, people!) and will be on again tomoro (no I won't say what and when) to discuss the launch of our first of its kind Mobile Carbon Calculator. Been working on this project for aaaages so was cool to get a nice media response to something which i kind of consider to be my baby.
• worked at the Natural and Organics Fair (a bunch of crazy hippies mostly, but entertaining nonetheless)
• took my first day of vacational leave this whole year
• spent that day doing the Crystal Pools hike on the way to Koelbaai. Stunning. Basically you hike up this gorge into the mountains. River flowing furiously. Fynbos blossoming.
• went to my favourite cuban place
• started my veggie garden properly - this morning I saw my first seedling emerge - woohoo!

Yesterday I started a new boot camp and also a bit of a detox. Bikini season looms.

My brother left on Sunday. Sucks. Miss him already. ugh. Why must people go to London. Really! :(

AAAANyway, I may be up in Joburg next week. Anyone keen to meet up? Probably tuesday or wednesday evening??

about frikken time

I am guessing Being Brazen is probably the only one who will share in the excitement of this with me... unless there are some other capies lurking among you?
WELL summer FINALLY decided to make a brief appearance this weekend! I went to the BEACH. I got SUNBURNT to the point of resembling one of those gross red vienna sausages. IT WAS GREAT. Obviously summer disappeared already now, but hey at least we had two days of proper sun at long last!!!

Also, my brother is visiting. YAY!
This is a pic of my gorgeous brother taken while we were doing some mountain biking in the Transkei* last summer. We'll call him Boo. He's currently visiting from the UK. He's lovely, no? Seriously... how is this man still single? It confounds me. Really it does. I adore Boo. He is one of the nicest guys i know and i am loving having him back in SA... even only for a week.

In other news, I am away tonight - this blog comes to you all the way from my hotel room in Caledon**. Feel the love!

Speaking of feeling the love, can you people please click on the little follower button thingie on the right? It took me forever to figure out how to get it there in the first place!! (thanks Tamara and Gill!!!!)

What else to share... emmmmm pfffffft. nope. I got nothing for you! K bye!

* for the foreign ones: The Transkei or Wild Coast is pretty much the most beautiful place on the planet.... I will soon post a story i wrote a while back on hiking the transkei and some pics. It's gorgeous.

** Caledon is a pretty arb dorpie (small town) close to nowhere. It is a very random destination, but hey, hotel = mini shampoos and shower gels and stuff so it's worth it.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE!!

I just discovered the proper way to weigh myself. It seems we've all been doing it wrong all these years!

We must spread the word!

PS. temporary new look...

I am feeling very burdened by all you frikken overachievers who insist on continuously giving your blog a gorgeous makeover. I will get there at some stage i suppose, but it sounds a lot like work.

barking mad

So on Sunday a bunch of us went back to our new favourite place - the cuban joint. Everytime we go there we seem to get free drinks. This time it was some kind of sambuca shot. Why do I tell you this? To contextualise What Happened Next....*

So we return to our place and the neighbours annoying dogs are barking. They are AWFUL things. Something like an overgrown staffie - about 1.5 times the size and with very rabid temperaments. Seriously, if i look over the wall at them, they snarl and drool and growl and bark. Even if i am trying to be nice (aka trying to get them to shut it).

Anyway.. so my mate Max reckons she wants to have a look at these dogs. So we go stand on the wall (our house is set higher than theirs, so we are looking down on the dogs). The dogs come running up to us and, inexplicably (or perhaps not so inexplicably *) Max snarls and barks at the dogs.

--- Retelling the story later she explained that they are demonic dogs and you just HAVE to bark at them. You can't help yourself. It is beyond your control. ---

Anyway, she not only barks at the dogs, but she tells my dogs "Zac, Zebu, I'm on your side here. We're a team" and then returns to her barking.

I see a flicker of movement in the corner of my eye and quickly run behind a bush. I signal to max (well i THINK i did... in my HEAD I did!!) but it's too late. The OWNER of the dogs has come to investigate. She is right upon Max before Max sees her.

WAA HAA HAA Max goes red and very bashful and the woman complains about OUR dogs barking (seriously, at least they bark normally and don't sound demon possessed like hers) and Max meekly explains that she doesn't live here and shuffles off.

I could barely stand up straight. Priceless!!! Imagine finding some woman standing on your wall, growling and barking at your dogs. heee heee hee

Welcome to the hood (Take 2)

Lovely weekend which even included some suntanning! (The sun finally made a brief appearance only to be replaced today AGAIN by the rain) Anyway, did some more gardening and went to our favourite restaurant - the cuban place etc etc blah blah blah

And then....

this morning The Band's car was stolen.

Fortunately for my state of mind it was not stolen from our house.

Here's what happened:

The Band left this morning for the week - he's gone to bloem.

On the way (at like 4.50) he dropped off his car at a friend's house for the friend to use. At like 5.20 the friend went outside and the car was gone.

Anyone seen a white Isuzu double cab lying about?

The bad news is that we purchased the car through vehicle financing so it looks like even after insurance we will still OWE R30K AND not have a car. How rough is that???

Gutted. It feels like you are just crawling out of a hole and you get shoved into a deeper one. I am pretty frikken depressed. There go my plans for FINALLY doing up my lounge and much much much worse.... there go my plans for a WONDERFUL December holiday up to vic falls and mozambique. ("I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry")

This is not a sad thing. It is not even a scary thing. It is just an incredibly UNFAIR thing and that makes it so frustrating.

Happy Birthday Phoebe

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!


This is the dog who rules my heart... Phoebe.... It was her birthday on Sunday. If you think it's odd that I phoned her (she's in EL) then you'll find it even more odd that my bro's called her from London. We're not to be mistaken for a normal family, but she is an incredible dog and we love her.

Saving relationships one month at a time!

This is great.... I may have to anonymously and mysteriously add it to the agenda at our next staff meeting!

http://pmsbuddy.com/

WHY I LOVE SA (Inspired by EXMI)

So following on from EXMI's inspirational post and also "inspired??" by a disgusting, racist, awful blog which i will not link to, I hereby start my very own meme. Sorry Slyde and Lotus (and any other foreigners reading this), I know that you'll be gutted, but this is a South African meme... and here is how it works:

• Link back to the original meme (that would be this post) and the meme inspirer (that would be EXMI)
• Link to the person who tagged you
• Give (at least) 5 reasons why you love SA
• Tag at least 5 peeps
• Let me know when you've done it!

Let's get this thing going and get SAns thinking good thoughts about our AWESOME nation!

1. I love the people. WOW. Where to start? I love how when you greet a xhosa person in their language their entire face lights up. I love how afrikaners are so ordentelik - living in Stellenbosch (a place with an UNNATURAL amount of nails in the road) I had plenty plenty plenty punctures over the years and have never had to change a tire. A nice afrikaans boy will ALWAYS appear out of nowhere and change it for me. I love how there is this (sometimes unspoken) comraderie among South Africans. Pretty much all South Africans.
2. I love how SA always manages to shine at our darkest hour. Even the xenophobia attacks were an incredible time of unity for the rest of South Africa. Young, old, black, white, STRANGERS, all came together, rolled up their sleeves and helped.
3. I love our social ways. So many SAns who go overseas stick to being friends with other SAns. That's coz many other cultures don't do the whole "drop in at whim" thing. They are more seperated and detached. We thrive on it.
4. I love that we beat the odds, the stats, the doomsday prophets and proved them all wrong by NOT ending in civil war in '94.
5. I love our language. It's a mix - mostly english but with others peppered in - "yoh!" "eish" "jislaaik" etc. Sometimes english just is not expressive enough all on its own. South African is much better!

Ok now that you have patriotic Jonny Clegg type music swelling in your head, it's your turn.

I tag: Sweets, Glugs (worth a try and it is for a good cause!!), Tamara, Being Brazen, Gill, Charmskool, My so called life, Ruby and in fact ALL WHO READ THIS POST :) I spose I can't reeeeeally tag EXMI seeing as she has pretty much already done it, BUT I can blame this meme on her :)

TELL ME WHY (I don't like Mondays)

I pretty much have that song in my head every monday.

Great weekend. Thurs nite I took the band and some mates to Buena Vista Social Cafe - FANTASTIC. We all assigned ourselves Cuban names (i am now Babarita - pronounced buburrreeetuh) our waitress became Manuel (munwell) etc etc. Great vibe, great food, great evening.

Fri was a birthday braai for the band - had about 30 peeps over. good fun.

Sat I did some gardening!* (No one was more impressed with me than me!! :) and went to another braai and today at 6 frikken AM I started to get my ass in shape.... http://www.adventurebootcamp.co.za/ 6 - 7 am, 5 days a week for 4 weeks. Wish me luck guys!!!

* The things i planted are called bulbines... see the pretty yellow flowers at the top of my blog? they're those and soon they'll be brightening up my garden. yay

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

to The Band

27 today!

And HOT AS EVER!

Dam I am in love with this man!!

Politics

What are your thoughts on the controversial Zapiro cartoon which appeared in the Sunday Times this weekend? There has been a huge reaction to the cartoon on both sides since.
What's yours??

Current addictions

I'm a tag victim...Tamara tagged me to do this meme.
So in a vampirey manner reminiscent of those creatures in I am Legend (ok, yes, I totally am mentioning that so I can lure our favourite vamp fan, Slyde, into participating :) ...I tag:

Blue Sunflower
EXMI
Glugs
Slyde
Lotus
I realise the last 3 are guys and therefore I'm perhaps quite unrealistic in my expectation, but hey, c'mon... i reckon your addictions would be VERY interesting :)

Now... the rules:
*Post at least five current addictions (with some details please)
*Mention the person who started this game of tag (Being Brazen) and also the person who just tagged you (in my case, Tamara).
*Type your post with the heading "Current addictions"
*Tag at least two people and pass on the above rules.

And, my current addictions:

1. My hotwaterbottle! Ya, ya, things may be warm up north, but here in the Cape it is still freeeeezing!
2. Not very original but i have to back Tamara up here... I am also completely addicted to Viva la Vida. LOVING IT. Also somehow I only just discovered SnowPatrol now. LOVING Chasing Cars.
3. Rosie Thomas books. I inherited my gran's collection and am devouring them steadily!
4. Blogging. You guys are my sanity. (aaaaaaaah sweet).
5. Prison Break Season 4. You know how i feel about Wentworth!!!!! ;)

Welcome to the hood!

So anyway, we were burgled! (spelling anyone??) Remember our NEW place that we've been in for a month?
YUP!

The sequence of events as retold to the police:

• Got home from church (nogal) on Sunday and our garden gate was open. (*caz and the band are puzzled*)


• The dogs are inside (*puzzled some more*)


• My jewelry is all out of my jewelry box (*growing confused*)


• The band's laptop is gone (*bugger it! A BURGLARY*)


• There is a frikken AXE lying on my dressing table (*lovely!!!*)


• I notice that my gran's earrings and some other sentimental jewelry is missing (*caz decides to not completely freak out... deep breaths deep breaths!*)


• The band's watch is gone (*well that sucks*)


• And then I see it... The VOID.... the VACUUM which was once filled by something vital in my life.... THOSE PSYCHOS have stolen my GHD!!!!!!! What kind of a SICK WORLD are we living???
  

Why I despise David Attenborough

So I'm a greenie, right? A nature lover, if you will. A bunny hugger, as it were. So I should be this huge fan of Dave Attenborough and his work and his ability to invoke a sense of awe for nature. But I'm not.

You guys seen The Planet Earth series? You know 'filming over 5 years, in 204 locations with a budget of $25 million'. Emmy award winning etc etc?

Well I find it emotionally manipulative and disturbing.

Take the snow geese for example.

You watch these little geese fly for 3 MONTHS from Mexico aaaaall the way to the Arctic ("wow such endurance" you think "they deserve a good summer break when they get there". They fly with their man or lady as they mate for life. ("how romantic" you think "and soon they'll be a family!!") Then they get there and all is great. ("if anyone deserves it, they do!" you think) They lay their eggs and really work hard at nesting, incubating and all that stuff (you can hardly wait for the little ones to arrive!). Finally these fluffy little goslings emerge. (despite the heart warming crescendo in the background you are starting to grow suspicious). The music (inevitably) changes. A cloud shadows the sun (ok, well it may as well have!!) And then enter miss arctic fox ("noooo!!" you think). The fox goes for the chicks (obviously). The parents do their best to fight it off (unsuccessfully). In the end the fox kills all babies but only takes one.

So NOW you are hating that fox. Evil wicked little bugger until OBVIOUSLY you see her taking the chick to her little babies.

UGH! I find it draining and awful. Bla bla bla yes, it is nature, but it's also not. Nature doesn't have the emotional music in the background. So there.

That's why i don't like David.

hmmmm

today i am sad.
I miss my gran. I feel kind of homesick for her if that makes sense.

I think through the process of reading through her diaries (20 years worth) in EL and all the letters she's sent me over the years and her bible here I have come to know my gran in a whole new way. Not just as my gran but as the woman.

I missed so much – like her loneliness at loss of my granddad. Every year she remembered her anniversary – we don’t think of these things and the power of phoning someone on the day and just supporting them. Her passion for her family and the impact of hearing from them. Life is so short and it’s so hard not to sit with regrets.

The night before she died I was at church and I felt that I should go out and call the hospital and leave her a message. But I didn’t. I put it off. And now she is gone and I will never get that chance. Stupid stupid me for not listening to the prompting of the Holy Spirit. A regret I shall have to live with always. BUT God is so good. Last night I dreamt I was in East London and Noon was going to die and we all knew it but I got the opportunity to tell her again for a last time how I felt about her. Amazing how God does that. Noon knew how I felt, I know that, but still… you know? Yes, … you do know.

Anyway, this isn't the point of my post. The point is to say that life is short and it’s the decisions we make on the spur of the moment – the decisions that cost us in the short term but mean something in the long term – that make all the difference.

The price of success

So summer is coming and for this reason I need to be a little less successful. That makes no sense, you say. On the contrary.

My success lies in a little committee I founded at work. It is CLAS, the Cake Lovers Appreciation Society. It is up to us, our duty you might say, to ensure that people bring cake when cake is due.

There is a general rule here that on your birthday you have to bring cake. If you verjaar on the weekend, you must bring on the following Monday. Believe you me, we let no-one forget it. But why stop at birthdays, I say!?

So this week through shameless hinting, urging and reminding CLAS has managed to secure cake every day! On Monday it was for someone’s birthday. On Tuesday it was from this chick who is moving to the CT office. Wednesday it was from a guy who recently got engaged and today it was from this woman who started working here about 2 months ago… it was her “starting to work here cake” and way overdue if you ask me!!

Shameless, but success is really sweet.

I think that probably there is no limit to the amount of reasons CLAS can come up with to demand cake from people....

Contact has been made!!

So how fantastically exciting is this? Some of you may remember a post a while back about Jock straps . Well go see who just commented on it!!! hee hee loving that!!

Back at last

Hi guys.

Wow I have missed you. A bit of a catch up, first of all Natal was great it was really good to be in the bush. We saw some fantastic birds including the pearl spotted owl (I have such a thing for owls and this is SA’s smallest - only 15cm high, I mean SERIOUSLY how cute can you get??) I also am happy to report that I did see the neergaard’s sunbird and a pink throated twinspot. Also a southern banded snake eagle which some of the pro birders seemed to be get really excited about.

I opted to spend an extra night in durbs on my way home to see my bro and his fam. This is my niece… in her ballet outfit.

Go on… tell me she is not one of the most beautiful little girls you’ve ever seen. Dam she is cute. SO on board with everything I say. Whenever I visit she puts on my shoes at first opportunity (even if they are just scruffy slops which have seen better days) and slings my handbag over her arm as if she’s all glam.

Her mom was putting her to bed and said a little prayer with her and before she repeated the “amen” bit she added in “and thank you for cazzy coming to visit”. HALLO!!! Melt my heart!!!!!

Now for the big swallow past the lump part. You’ve probably read my dotings about my niece before so you’ve probably also read about my gran before. Noon.

On Monday morning last week, early early I heard my alarm go off. I turned to get it and realized actually it was my phone ringing. It was my dad. He told me Noon had had a heart attack and had died.
“No.”

"Yes my angel.”

“No.”

He asked to speak to The Band.
He asked The Band to look after me. I lay in bed and sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. The Band held me and cried with me I think.

I spent the past week in East London helping sort out my gran's flat and preparing for the funeral etc. No email access unfortunately, so I have really missed you all. I had to do a eulogy at the funeral and so I started by writing it as a blog post then converting it.

Here it is.

Eulogy: Sydney Ella

I don’t think there is one person who ever met Noon that didn’t love her; what an incredible lady!

She was warm, loving, incredibly generous, adventurous and feisty!

Noon walked a lot and she had a few run-ins with thugs. Actually I should say that thugs had a few run-ins with Noon as they always seemed to come off second best. One time she was walking and a guy ran past her and grabbed her cross and chain from around her neck. This poor thug obviously didn’t know who he was taking on. Noon was pretty short, but looks can be deceiving. As she tells it “I shouted all sorts of things at him and called him some very rude words which I won’t repeat to you dear.” So the guy said “Well I’ll give you the cross back, but I’m keeping the chain!” “No you are not!” she replied “You will give them both back immediately!” To which he sheepishly placed both on the ground and ran away.

Why 'Noon'? When Noon was little her mom, her sister and her would go on the ship to England. Noon would hide and her mom would call her “ninky ninky noon”. Since then she’s been known as Noon.

Noon lived at The Woodholme on the East London Esplanade (beach front) for nearly 20 years and that was her territory. Everyone at the Wimpy knew her. She’d say they make the best coffee in the world. I agree. She was one of those who could go in and ask for “the usual”. All along the Esplanade bead sellers would greet her; “hello granny”.

When a ship wrecked at the break wall last year Noon could’ve been a Reuters correspondent. She’d give updates on exactly what was happening with the wreck over the months. She was so disappointed when it was finally gone – she wrote to me that she felt like she’d lost a friend.

Noon was old. 89 last week, but you wouldn’t have said so! Just 6 years ago she traveled to Cape Town and Oudtshoorn to swim competitively in the SA Masters Swimming Champs!

She loved gardens and would often point out trees to me saying “That would be a great tree for climbing.” She really had an adventurous spirit and a fun spirit.

She told me that she was up in Joburg for work as a young lady when she met my granddad and he invited her out for dinner. She promptly spent the money for her return fare home on a dress for the evening.

Another time they were away somewhere and she had been eyeing a certain ring in the jewelry store. My granddad dared her to jump on the trampoline. She said that she would jump for ten minutes if he’d buy her that ring. He agreed. So, being a legal secretary, she quickly drew up a little contract which they both signed and then started jumping. She got her ring.

Noon was a great letter writer – when I was in university I’d get a letter from her every week. She was also a great reader of books. In fact if Noon was around you had to keep an eye on whichever book you were reading at the time! She loved her reading, especially books involving adventures. One of her favourite favourite books was Rosie Thomas’s White. It’s a great book about an Everest expedition. When she finished it she told me she was exhausted as she felt she’d climbed the mountain with the team. My brother Mark, her “Marky-boo”, would send her postcards from his travels to various parts of the world and she would write to him “I so enjoyed our skiing trip… I can hardly wait for Egypt.”

Noon loved dining in fine restaurants and through my high school years and whenever I was back home after that she’d take me out to lunch. It was always a treat for us both.

My grandfather died nearly 20 years ago. They were living in Bloem at the time and when she moved down to East London. Her Alsatian, Blackie, had to be put down. I think it was one of the hardest things for her. But a few years ago we got a border collie called Phoebe. Well Phoebe and Noon just absolutely took to each other. I’m sure many of you have heard her speak about Phoebe. Whenever Noon came to visit Phoebe would go absolutely crazy. They utterly adored one another. I’ve never seen anything like it. I suspect that Phoebe has also developed quite a taste for seafood as Noon used to always sneakily feed bits of her meal to Phoebe under the table. My parents would pretend not to notice and Noon would wink at me conspiratorially. Noon would often marvel to me “I never ever thought I could love another dog…” Every time I spoke to her on the phone she’d give me an update on Phoebe and would end off by saying “Oh I do love that dog!”

Noon absolutely loved her 3 children, 9 grandchildren and 9 great grandchildren. She boasted of them at every opportunity. She’d call my brother Matthew her HH – her handsome hunk. She loved to talk about her “Richie” and how he strutted his stuff when he got his matric results. And I suspect that the more he’d cringe the more she’d repeat that story. In a book I found this week she wrote “Every time a grandchild is born, one’s heart opens a little wider to take the new love in. You can actually feel it happening.”

Noon was very caring. She volunteered in the Physio department in Bloem, in the Hospice in East London and at Woodholme’s sick bay. She would quite happily massage a sore back or sore feet. Absolutely servant-hearted if you consider some of the feet in my family! She had patience which you seldom see nowadays.

Something that was always very hard for Noon was that she never knew her dad. Her dad died 2 weeks before she was born and she has always felt that void. She’s often said to me how lucky I am to have a dad who loves me so much and she’s often commented on what a wonderful father this one is or that one is.

When Noon was a little girl living in Queenstown she had a loose tooth. As she tells it, she called her neighbour, a dentist, to show him. There was a drought at the time. He’d just come from the outhouse and he wiggled her tooth and then pulled it out. The next morning she was unconscious. Her gums were swollen over her teeth and they couldn’t wake her. But while that was going on she saw herself walking along a dusty road. She saw her dad standing there. How her heart must have swelled to see the dad she’d longed for all her short life. He was so happy to see her and was so full of love, but he told her that it wasn’t yet time. And then she regained consciousness.

I’ve been left wondering why she lived so long after losing her husband. What was she holding out for? It must be so hard to outlive so many people you love. Why would God keep her here for so long?

I think the answer is for us: her friends and her family. For us to learn from her. For us to be loved unconditionally by this great woman. When I think of why my heart is breaking right now, when I consider my pain, it is all selfish. It is all of how much I will miss her and how sad I am that my future children won’t know her, but for her I am happy. She is with her heavenly Father now and she is with her dad at last. She’s gone home.

Living it up

So had a great weekend...
Jacuzzied :)
unpacked a bit more :(
watched I am Legend :( (FRIKKEN TERRIFYING!! WHY WAS I NOT WARNED!!!)
Made butternut fritters :)
And generally chilaxed :)

Busy reading Freakonomics... anyone read it? And while I'm exposing myself for the book nerd that I am anyway, anyone read The Time Traveller's Wife? Flippen amazing book!

But anyway, so TODAY I found out that TOMORROW morning at 6.15 I will be flying to Natal for the rest of the week. Going to "Strategic planning session" in Mkhuze Game Reserve... BRING ON THE BUSH!! Stooooooked!! Been needing to get out the office so it will be GREAT!
Ok you all have to wish me good game viewing experiences... My wishlist is as follows...
I want to see:

• a leopard. (Not very original, but stiiiiiill haven't seen one in the wild)
• Pink-throated Twinspot
  
• Eastern Nicators
  
• Pels Fishing Owls (seen before but still pretty special!)
• Goliath Heron (ditto)
  
• Neergaard's Sunbird

Ok fine, so now you know: I am a book nerd and a bird nerd :)

Blogspot is paining me

eeeugh anyone else battling to post? I've been trying to post for 2 days and it keeps sticking.
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Oh well so anyway, I cycled home from work last night!! hey??? About 20km (I work in Stellenbosch and the new place is in Somerset West). It was great - first exercise I've done since the Argus (Yep, that was in March - I even still had some powerade in my bottle from then!!) Pretty gross.

Naturally by the time I got into bed last night I had a raging fever and could barely swallow. I'm doped up today and a little better although the ears are paining a bit. It was inevitable really. Haven't been sick all year, naturally my body had to protest the impending threat of regular exercise.

Anywhooo here are some redefinitions for you....

One letter added:

Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting
laid.

Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very,very high.

Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who
doesn't get it.

Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your
bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

Same word new meaning:

Coffee,n. The person upon whom one coughs.

Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.

Lymph v. To walk with a lisp.

Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run
over by a steamroller.

Balderdash , n. A rapidly receding hairline.

Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.

Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.

Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with yiddishisms.

You got any to add??

Being down = reduced productivity

Solution: pay more, increase perks, increase number of days leave.

So anyway, in my depression session yesterday (thanks for all the support :) )I became incredibly unproductive and decided to cheer myself up by blog surfing. I found some pearlers and am very proud to announce that I even updated my best blogs list...a chore which i realllllly avoid.

This pretty much sums me up right about now:

(This was lifted off Being Brazen's blog... thanks lady!)

P.S. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

P.S.S. Welcome to all the newbies: Slyde, Ruby, Being Brazen, Don't believe a word I write, Youmeher and Gill

I need a therapist and you, dear reader, are now it.

Ok guys, firstly the very fact that there are no exclamation marks in my title should concern you. I am THAT tense.

It sucks being a girl. When I get reeeeeally angry do I shout? (nope.) Kick things? (and ruin my shoes??! I don't think so) What happens? My stupid eyes well up with saline solution. It really sucks. So now I am hiding in my office, cultivating a massive wrinkle between my brows, heart thumping in my ears. Looking like a weak chick when actually this is FURY

I am over EVERYBODY! Lazy colleagues. Hopeless website developers. Useless ad agencies. It is tough being the only one who gives a damn.

Please leave me comments that either vent with me or say nice stuff to me. Jokes may also help right about now.

Klip daai blomme!!!

I got tagged by cheapthrills to jump on the competition bandwagon and I am a SUCKER for competitions!!

The Rocking The Daisies competition is the competition in question and hey, I am the only 20 something i know who doesn't own an ipod... so here goes!!

1. Blog about the competition, telling us what you would take with you to the concert.
2. Link to http://rockingthedaisiescompetition.co.za and http://www.digicape.co.za
3. Tag your friends in the post. In other words, just link to their website to encourage them to come over and look at your website.
4. Register here, tag your name and my name (cheapthrills) and copy our blog post onto their website.

So what could I not possibly do without at Rocking the Daisies?
Well isn't it obvious?

1. My GHD - I'd have to hot wire the car for a power supply
2. My copy of "Hotwiring cars for Dummies"
   
3. My she-mullet (I better start cultivating that puppy now!!)
4. My garage recording of my own soulful singing - If I could just get a producer to listen I know he'd sign me!!
5. My folder of cut out letters for the ransom note in case the afore mentioned producer refuses. Oh and some bostik (NEVER just stick it!)

So I do hereby solemnly tag:
Sweets, DBAWIW; Doodles, Glugs, Youmeher, Charmskool

THE END

Love it!

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.Well, for example, the other day the wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and I said, 'Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?' He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Dumb ass. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tires.

So Mary called him a $#!^head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.

Just then our bus arrived.

We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

Boxing again

As in placing all my possessions into boxes. Yup this is the 3rd move in as many months. SERIOUSLY!! We moved next door so they could rethatch our place (the band was away) then 3 weeks later we moved back home (the band was away) and now we are moving to the new place... THE BAND IS HERE AND I AM AT WORK AND HE WILL DO MOST OF THE WORK! phew!
It's a good thing, really it is, moving makes me preeeetty grumpy!!

Anyway, blah blah blah.

So I am quite relieved that the time has now come... the arachnophobia is now a full blown paralysing fear spurred on my the most horrendous nightmares. I won't share them with you coz:
A) I don't want you all to become as lame and chicken as me; and
B) When I retell them I start crying!!!! (not very cool when you're in conservation!!)

Anywho. Some random thoughts for today:

• ready mixes for cakes and brownies are way underrated
• I am going to have a new boss soon and I understand approximately 5% of what he says - and I have to communicate it to the public!
  
• the move has made me discover a couple of things I forgot about like a really nice top (wearing it today) and some gorgeous vases. Stoked
• nevertheless, my favourite possession is my GHD - no contest
• woolies white hot chocolate is the business!

That's about it :)

Smart? or not so much??

I found this smart-o-meter booklist back at EMCT's blog

Someone reckons that the average adult has only read 6 of the top 100 books they’ve printed (dumbasses). So here we go…

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you started but did not finish.
3) Underline the books you LOVE.
4) Highlight the ones you still want to read but just have not had a chance yet!
5) Reprint this list in your own blog so we can try and track down these people who’ve read 6 or less and force books upon them.

1. The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
2. The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
3. The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
4. Lord of the Flies - William Golding
5. Life of Pi – Yann Martel
6. The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
7. The Color Purple - Alice Walker
8. Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
9. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
10. To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
11. Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
12. Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
13. His Dark Materials (trilogy) - Philip Pullman
14. Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
15. Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
16. The Hobbit - J.R.R. Tolkien
17. Catcher in the Rye - J.D. Salinger
18. Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
19. Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
20. Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
21. Chronicles of Narnia - C.S. Lewis
22. The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe – C.S. Lewis
23. Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne
24. Animal Farm – George Orwell
25. Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
26. Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
27. On The Road - Jack Kerouac
28. Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
29. Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
30. Hamlet - William Shakespeare
31. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
32. Complete Works of Shakespeare
33. Ulysses - James Joyce
34. Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
35. Les Miserables - Victor Hugo
36. Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
37. The Bible
38. The Great Gatsby - F. Scott Fitzgerald
39. War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
40. Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
41. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
42. The Kite Runner – Khaled Hosseini
43. One Hundred Years of Solitude – Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44. Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
45. The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
46. Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
47. The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
48. A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
49. The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
50. Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
51. Little Women - Louisa M. Alcott
52. Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
53. Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
54. Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
55. Middlemarch - George Eliot
56. Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
57. Bleak House - Charles Dickens
58. The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
59. David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
60. Emma - Jane Austen
61. Persuasion - Jane Austen
62. Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
63. Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
64. The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
65. A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
66. The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
67. Anne of Green Gables – L.M. Montgomery
68. Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
69. Atonement - Ian McEwan
70. Dune - Frank Herbert
71. Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
72. A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
73. The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
74. A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
75. Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
76. The Secret History - Donna Tartt
77. The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
78. Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
79. Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
80. Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
81. Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
82. Moby Dick - Herman Melville
83. Dracula - Bram Stoker
84. Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
85. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
86. Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
87. Germinal - Emile Zola
88. Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
89. Possession - A.S. Byatt
90. A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
91. Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
92. The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
93. Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
94. A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
95. The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
96. The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
97. The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
98. Watership Down – Richard Adams
99. A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
100. The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

New home!

So yest I left work early to check out a potential new spot and it's great!
and we signed!
and we are moving in next Friday!
and we aren't practically homeless anymore!
and it has a pool!
and it's in the neighbourhood we wanted!
and it has a great kitchen!
and an enclosed verandah with a braai!
and the people living there now are weird and gothy and have fairies throughout the garden and a painting of a creepy goatman on the wall!
and the main room has an en suite!
and the garden is big!
and we can see the sea!
and it is near a brand new Virgin active!
and the rent is what I was hoping for!
and... the most ridiculous thing of all?.......... there's a jacuzzi!

JOCKSTRAP CENTRAL!!

So for some reason at work we got onto the topic of male thongs which inevitably led to discussion of jock straps. Not having ever seen the offending subject of our discussion, I decided to do a little research. (Never am I more creative with my internet usage than when I'm on some sort of deadline)

Definition: A jockstrap (also known as a jock, jock strap, strap, supporter, or athletic supporter) is an undergarment designed for supporting the male genitalia during the performance of sports or other vigorous physical activity

Naturally, it gets even better than that.... wikipedia didn't really have a pic, so I visited www.jockstrapcentral.com - NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART! The pics are HILARIOUS - check out the fetish section - waa haa haa haa - note the ONE model who hasn't been waxed. ROUGH!!!!! hahaahahaha

just a quickie

sorry bla bla bla etc etc

ok, now that i'm forgiven for being a sucky blogger, just a very quick update on the life of caz. Not much to report sadly:

• the big news is that the band has FIIIIIIINALLY cut his hair. I don't know if i mentioned but he hadn't cut it since some time last year and was beginning to look downright Einsteiny!!! Not he looks downright Wentworth Miller-y and is very grrrowl!! ;)
• still looking for a new place. People seriously should not smoke in their house if they ever want to rent it out. sies man. Going to see a place this afternoon. HOLD THUMBS PLEASE. It's an awful thing being practically homeless :(
• just read "The curious incident of the dog in the nighttime". You should all read it. Very good. You can get through it in a day. Awesome book.
• Spent the weekend in arniston - was very nice
• Snow is gone from the mountains around stellenbosch and i am able to feel my fingers again
  
• That's all.
  

Pop the shampers people!

so i know that you have put up with a lot of moaning from me this year. "I'm so busy" bla bla bla. Well now you get to celebrate with me too! 2 cooooool things for today:

1. I fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinally got a GHD!!! YAY ME!! I've been waiting aaaaages. It was imported direct from UK. No more bad hair days people. Glugs - a GHD (good hair day) is a hair straightener... not just any hair straightener, mind you. It is basically the Rolls Royce of hair straighteners.... it comes in this sleek black and gold box, complete with a DVD to show you how its done! I have probably lusted after my friends' GHDs for the past 4 or 5 years and today finally, FINALLY I have one of my very own. YAY!!!!! (and yes, after collecting it, i came to my office, closed the door and straightened my hair).

2. WOOOOOHOOOOOOO the marketing campaign that I have eaten, slept and breathed this whole year - WWF's Be The Hero campaign - has been nominated for 10 Loerie Awards.
The Loerie Awards are like the Oscars of the advertising industry. We have really worked our butts off on this campaign and I have to say that I am JUBILANT at the nominations. Hopefully we will bag some awards at the end of the month! Hold thumbs with me, k?

Raindrops are falling on my bed

Not reeally... but that random song has been in my head for 5 days... coz that's how long it's been raining.

My family in Durbs spent yest morning on the beach, my folks in EL had a braai by the pool. And the band and me? We just tried to fight off hypothermia whatever way we could. (and all the dirty minded people's grinned wickedly)

The Cape is frrrrrrrizzzing. It's doing NOTHING for my hair or my self-control on the food intake front. I am just a frizzy haired, many clothing layered eating machine.

This weekend the inlaws arrive. We are going to go spend the time in one of those little white seafront cottages in Arniston. HOPING for decent weather. We still have to break it to the inlaws that we've been evicted. The MIL is probably going to want to do our landlord physical harm. The band is her youngest and she is protective.

The MIL is very sweet, she ALWAYS brings me jewellry when she visits (even though i wear the same necklace just about every day of my life) and she always stocks us up on woolies food. She always brings the band clothes which he ALWAYS returns to the shop and exchanges for other clothes. She reckons that Rafael Nadel looks exactly like the band. hahahaha. Loved that one. Just as long as it doesn't encourage the band to grow his hair again... I've endured a lot of his hair "phases" already thank you very much.

Why is it that...

People are so doff?
Seriously.

So I may have mentioned that since my boss left I am doing her job and mine.... Stressed is the mild, shy, dorky, diminuitive cousin to what I am. Anyway, most people are savvy enough to know this, or at least ONE WOULD THINK SO! But nope, suddenly people are asking me to do the most inane things for them. It's RIDICULOUS.

Let me expand the situation for you:
My job is currently looking after marketing and communication for one of the biggest brands in the country, which includes keeping 2 LARGE websites up to date, writing 2 'work' blogs, compiling an entire annual review (a month's worth of work on its own), compiling a newsletter, putting together a campaign with Cape Town schools, organising the calendar which we want to sell, managing the creation of a cell phone based carbon calculator, writing press releases, organising press launches, managing our participation in a number of expos and events, etc. (and that's just the average week)

I am eating, sleeping and nightmaring WORK. It's bad. I love the stuff I do, but I'm only one little me, you know?

ANYWAY, amidst all this, whilst my hair steadily goes from rich chocolate brown to dull ashy grey and bald spots appear (well probably) I get requests like this:

From the JHB office:

• "A bunch of new staff have started at the Stellenbosch office, maybe you can go around taking photos of them and write a little something about each of them so we know who they are and what they look like. " (WOW! So THAT'S what I spent 7 years studying for!!! I delegated this one to our receptionist to do when she has a moment)
  
• "I DESPERATELY need my letter that I send out to corporates updated. PLEASE can you help me URGENTLY" (NO! It is YOUR job. YOU write it and I will proof read it for you.)

From my colleague here:

• "We URGENTLY need to write a thank you letter to xxxx shop to thank them for providing our snacks for staff socials. Please put something together. There names are XX and XX and keep it casual and upbeat." (Well, sure, after all I do sit around picking my nose all day.... Um... let's just think about it... NO!!! I'm not your little flippen PADAWON. Do it yourself. It is YOUR relationship to manage, not mine. I will proof read stuff and that is it.)

SERIOUSLY have these people no frikken idea whatsoever?? Even our most senior staff compile their own thank you letters. CRIKEY MAN STOP BEING SO BLUDDY LAZY!! AAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!

Anyway, that is my vent for the day. Thank you for enduring it.

Self portrait

Homeless

Rejection people. That's what I'm feeling.

So anyway, we got home Sunday afternoon and our landlord was in our kitchen repairing a shelf or something and he was all weird and stuff to us. He was being all weird and evasive so eventually the band asked him what he was trying to say. More weird evasiveness. So the band said "are you saying you want us to leave?" and yes was the gist of his weird and evasive answer.

EVICTION - it's an uuuurgly thing.

So his reasons are - you guessed it - weird and evasive. He said that he doesn't like our dogs barking at him on his own property. Now you guys know full well that I am not the biggest fan of The Mutts, but come on. If you let yourself into our house while we are not there and without our permission then you can be damn sure they are going to bark at you! That is the only time he really sees them and quite frankly what is he doing at our place anyway? They are doing their job. Ironically I have to walk past the landlord's son's house every day and they have a bluddy sausage dog who yaps and yaps and yaps and yaps all the livelong day and goes for my ankles. A real live stoepkakkertjie that one.

Anyway so we have 2 months to find a place. EISH!!!

Maybe it's time to buy.... we qualify for a teeny bond, but you have to start somewhere... right?? Finding a place to rent with dogs is not easy and I'm so tired of renting. I want my own home. I want to nest, you know?

Anyway, it's very awful - we don't even want to be at our place now coz we feel unwanted and unwelcome.

BUT I am looking on the bright side - even though our place was in the most beautiful setting and had a gorgeous view - the positive side is that:

• No more thatch = no more dust all over
• No more thatch = no more gigantic human stalking spiders *shudder*
• No more awful bathroom (rubber floors and GOLD gilded taps)
• No more awful ceramic ice cold bath

That's about it :( All the rest was great. Stunning birds, gorgeous flowers to pick, brilliant security, ok, I'll stop now!! But it's basically up to you guys, dear readers, to keep me from getting very down about this in the coming months. We may well have to stay with friends for a while. Homelessness and being a burden on others is gonna suck.

Overdue post - written a couple of weeks ago

I am a white South African. A couple of weeks ago I received an sms from a family member along the lines of: “Rand is plummeting, xenophobia is spreading. Time to get your passports ready and leave this place.”

At that stage the xenophobic attacks seemed very distant to me. I am based in the Cape and they were happening in Joburg. They may as well been happening on another continent. With all the bad news that the media loves to throw at us, I’ve become selective in my reading and this was one of the stories I had selected not to follow.

Jump forward a week. I’m at work and a friend calls asking for the telephone number of another friend. She is frantic.

Our mutual friend, Anton, is a Zimbabwean. He met my husband a few years ago while selling goods at the side of the road and since then they’ve been good friends. He is now the car guard at our church and everyone loves him because he is the friendliest, happiest person most of us have ever met. On Christmas eve last year his wife and one year old child finally managed to cross the border after many unsuccessful attempts. My friend had phoned me asking for his wife’s number. Xenophobia had spread to Lwandle near Somerset West, where Anton and his family live.

My friend had spoken to him earlier that day and now his phone was off. We tried to get hold of him without much success. My friend spoke to Xhosa residents in the township and they warned that things were getting very bad there. The attackers were after loot and so if he leaves, he should leave bare-handed.

I spent the next while scouring the internet for news on the situation in the Cape townships. The photos of the attacks in Johannesburg chilled me to the core. The rioters, dancing through the streets, brandishing weapons, had jubilant smiles on their faces.

I sat in my office and wept. For Anton and his family who had fled Zimbabwe so that they could have a future and were now again forced to flee for their lives. And for all the people in the same situation. I wept in disgust at how South Africans were treating people who are desperate. For the first time in my life I was truly ashamed to be South African.

We soon heard from Anton. He was a worried man and wanted to get his family out. My husband went and fetched him, he left everything behind. Later on, the police gave them the go ahead to return for his possessions. My husband said that when he went in all was calm and he couldn’t believe how quickly things changed – by the time they left, maybe 20 minutes later, a crowd surrounded their vehicle shouting at them saying “You are lucky you are going now. Tonight we would take your stuff”. The crowd was comprised mostly of school kids.

Soon sms’s were flooding my phone. People looking for accommodation for their employees. Desperate. Our church sent out an sms inviting us to help out that night at a factory warehouse which had been opened to refugees. Within hours the warehouse was full and our church building was opened.

The building is still under construction. It has no hot water and the kitchen is pretty sparse. The upstairs area – which is the biggest at this point and will eventually become the Sunday school – would be where people would sleep. The floor is a concrete slab.

By the time I arrived there on Friday night, everyone – about 400 at that stage had been fed. There was an area set up for receiving donations and the process of assigning task teams for kitchen, sanitation and security was well underway.

At about 11pm we started to register people. By this stage many people were trying to sleep. But we had to have some idea of numbers and also some families had been split and this would make it easier to reunite them. Each person got a ticket with their number on.

We finished at about 1.30 that night. During the time I saw several things:

1. the patience of these people – bone tired but willing to get out of a bed at our asking and stand in a queue slowed by miscommunication because we said it was important.
2. the openness of these people – they were friendly and polite and without anger. It boggles me.
3. the desperation of these people – I saw two men fighting over a Pep blanket – you’d have to be pretty desperate.
4. the caring of these people – they look out for each other and not just their fellow countrymen. They look out for anyone in need whether they speak that language or not.
5. the manners of these people – many of them have come to ask for a broom to clean a bathroom, or simply found one themselves. They collect rubbish of their own initiative.

“These people” have by now become “our refugees” or “our guys”. We are getting to know some of them like Marshall who’s about 5 and is cute as anything and his dad Moses. Or Shakespeare, or Prince or Lovemore or Nomore.

By Saturday evening over 700 people had registered at the building. A fierce soccer match occupied much of the afternoon followed by a warm meal. People are tired, many of them left the townships with nothing and no idea of what the future holds and yet they maintain their dignity.

It is now Sunday evening. This morning I helped with breakfast. The amount of food, blankets and clothing that has come in is phenomenal. The number of people who have arrived with their sleeves rolled up ready to help is incredible. There are volunteers there 24 hours a day with a real smile on their face.

WHY??? Why would people – some of whom I’ve never seen before Saturday – pitch up to help people who they’ve never even met?

For the same reason that I want to be there whether I need to be or not. It is because for the first time we have a real opportunity to DO SOMETHING. To actually be a tangible part of the solution. We read about xenophobia, the Zimbabwe situation, SA politics and all of it makes us feel powerless and frustrated. The sentiment that is shared among the volunteers I have spoken to is that we all feel alive. There is no part of us that wants to leave South Africa like that sms suggested. We don’t rejoice in the xenophobia – we mourn it with Our Guys, but we rejoice at the opportunity to be part of the solution. To be relevant. To be real. To get our hands dirty and show people love.

Arthur or Martha

Hallo bloggies!

I've been reeeeally scarce but i have plenty of excuses. Ok fine, since you asked. In the last 3 weeks:

• my house flooded and stuffed up the wiring so i had to move for them to replace our thatch roof (of course the flooding and resultant moved happened while the band was away - obviously)
• xenophobia attacks meant our church took in 500 refugees and the band was responsible for coordinating it all... they were there for a weekend before being moved to a camp in strand which the band then co-lead for a week until disaster management were finally ready to step up. (While the guys were in our church building TWO bambinos were born there! Pretty hectic stuff!!!!)
• my boss left the organisation which means I am doing her work and mine for the next 3 months til they restructure
  
• we launched the Be the Hero campaign which I've been working on for 8 months... hopefully you've heard or seen some of our ads. Visit www.wwf.org.za/hero and then come say nice things about it
• the band is in madagascar and to punish me our evil mutt zebu peed on my bed and my pillow
  
• I am in JHB for the launch of the Africa Footprint Report on monday

So I hope that I am now forgiven. :)
VERY excited to be meeting Tamara on Monday.... YAY!
Also VEEERY excited to be going on a Ngala walking safari tomorrow!! YAY!!!!

Ok bye