Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Tandi is one :)

The birthday girl

Well people, the party was by all accounts LARGE. Make no mistake, we don't do small or cliquey. In our life everyone is invited and everyone seems to accept the invitation!

We had a startling 70 people appear last Saturday (which shocked even me coz at some point all the people saying they were coming freaked me out and so I stopped counting :)

Colouring in - my brother and niece

But it was great. A beautiful day. In keeping with our Hello Guvvy theme, everyone was given a black nose and whiskers.

Princess Tandi and I - check her cute tiara

The Hello Guvvy cake The Band made. (I have a keeper)

Keena and her family all came and lives were changed.

Two of Mavis's kids. They were so excited to be there.

In a previous post I posted the letter Tandi sent out mentioning she would be sharing her presents with Keena. Well in the end pretty much everyone brought a present for each of the girls. Keena's pile was as big as Tandi's! Keena's mom (she couldn't come as she works on a Saturday) sent me a message that night saying she was in absolute shock and could not believe how people had blessed her child.

I wish I could have been a fly on the wall in that shack in Kayamandi when that family gathered round to open what must have been about 30 gifts. Not hand me downs, not second hands. But brand new, freshly wrapped gifts. Toys, books, clothing, even wet wipes and baby food. Mavis (Keena's aunt and Tandi's nanny), ever loyal, told me on Monday that all the children were so excited and that all the gifts were wonderful, but that Keena's favourite gift was her doll from Tandi (I hunted down a little black doll for her - too cute).

Keena and Tandi

And so my little treasure princess girl is one. Already. Oh and if I could only press pause on time and stay in this moment. It is precious. So precious.

And some time on Tandi's birthday (the day after the party) there was a moment when everybody (we had a bunch of family staying with us) was out and it was only me. And I released the last 3 helium balloons into the sky and watched them forever as they grew smaller and smaller and I thought of Sophia and where she is and how we long for her and how happy she must be where she is and my heart hurt and I felt peace.

Saturday, July 16, 2011


I watched as tandi drifted to sleep in the car seat next to me. I thought to myself "oh I DO love this girl" and as I spoke the words in my head, I heard Noon's voice. That phrase was something she'd declare emphatically whenever she was with Phoebe. And in that moment that stranglehold particular to grief grasped at my windpipe. What if she's not there? What if they're not there? What if heaven is not what I believe? What a despairing, awful lonely thought. I miss my gran with a fierce pain.