Monday, August 24, 2009

bloodshot eyes*

*not a search term I would recommend entering in google images (shudder)

Well naturally it's been far too long since my last Encounter and so another one was becoming inevitable I suppose.

It happened on Friday. We were in Betty's Bay for the evening and sometime circa 4am I woke up to pee. (That's just the way it is. I've long since kissed the thought of sleeping through the night goodbye for the next decade) Anyway, as I reached for the door handle of the bedroom who do you suppose is skulking there, LEERING at me? 8 hairy legs glinting in the moonlight?

"$#!& man!" I squeal in an embarassingly high pitched voice.

Enter The Band. "What's wrong my girl?"

"one of those- those- those- spider BASTARDS is here lying in wait for me to touch him!!"

Saintly spouse that he is, he duly got up and removed the offending beast.

The rest of the night I was plagued with dreams of these wolf spiders. scuttling. leering. jeering. lurking.

The next morning The Band started to laugh about the whole thing.
"What's so funny?" heavily pregnant, unamused arachnophobe wife asks miserably.

"Well, how did you SPOT the spider? I don't understand how you could have seen him in the dark"

amateur. Does he really think that just because I haven't had an Encounter in 3 months I have let my guard down? NEVER! My spider inspections are taken as seriously as ever and it's a bluddy good thing too. If i had touched the demonic beast I swear I would have popped the baby out there and then!


po said...

Noooooo I understand, touching a spider would induce labour in me and I am not even pregnant!

Ches said...

Spiders are humans too, you know!

Tamara said...

So funny. Sorry to laugh at your misery, but really - you seem to have a strange bond with spiders. they follow you around and you can sense where they are.

Sure you weren't bitten by a radioactive one at any stage? and can you shoot webs out your hands (always a telling sign)?

Caz said...

Dam they are evil beasts. T you are so right... they definitely have it in for me. They haven't discovered the new house yet.. if they do I'll be overs!!

Kimberly said...

Spiders will KILL you.