A Long December

I was listening to Counting Crows "A Long December" today and this memory flooded back:

So I was something of a late bloomer I guess. My brother Matt (who is 2 years older than me) and I REALLY clashed. Even today our relationship is not a comfortable one. We gave each other a hard time, I guess. I suppose it's all part of character development and all that, but let's just say he certainly made sure that I wasn't any more confident in myself than was due. In his eyes I was scholastically bright, fairly sporty, but that was the sum total of my talents. In terms of teenage appeal (the only thing any young girl wants to excel at) I was nowhere according to him and hence, according to me.

Inevitably, i guess, my brother had a best friend. B. B lived down the road and was always at our house. He was older, GORGEOUS, super clever and sporty. The full package. And, of course, he was so so sweet to me. Would defend me to my brother and would tease me.

At school events he was never too cool to talk to me (making me the envy of all my friends) and eventually, one night, at a party we slow danced to Long December. He kept saying "I can't believe you're my best friend's little sister".

Nothing came of it til years later at university when we eventually hooked up one night. I guess in a way it was a let down. The whole charm all along had been of this wonderful, unattainable, older man. That being said, had it never happened I suppose I would have always wondered at the chemistry between us.

A couple of weeks later I received an SMS from my brother asking me if B and I had kissed. I didn't know what to do so I SMSd B. My brother (on the other side) had grabbed B's phone and read my reply. It didn't go down too well which in a way, I guess, tells me that my brother is overprotective of me and does give a damn.

Despite all this, to this day when I hear A Long December I am 16 again, slow dancing with the most gorgeous boy I know and feeling like a million bucks.