Friday, October 30, 2009

that damn sun

The last two weeks I have been kept really busy. I am back at work, I am also now able to exercise so been doing plenty of that. I've allowed myself to just escape in it all. When I have a moment, I swallow it down and get on with something else. Distraction.

But it bubbles there, this grief. It prowls beneath the surface and when I let my guard down, out it creeps.

The other day I walked through The Room Formerly Known As The Nursery. It was mid-morning and the sun was shining through the sliding doors which open out to the garden. It looked so beautiful and warm. A wonderful place for Sophia to rest in.A place I would want to rest in. A place to sit, nursing my baby girl. A place for the two of us.

Something as small as the sun shining in crushed me. The room is no longer a nursery. It is now just a shell. Everything packed away. An empty, echoey room.


Anonymous said...

Ah man that is tough. It is something we never faced. We never prepared the nursery. We knew there was a possible problem at 20 weeks and then we were in Africa til 26 weeks. When we got back the doctors told us there was a real risk Abigail would not live and if she did we knew she would be in hospital for the first three months so we never got things ready.

I am sorry you haven't got Sophia with you in the nursery.

God Bless

Simply-Mel said...

*no words*


Caz said...