Friday, October 16, 2009

The end is nigh. bugger.

So today is my last day as a lady of leisure. No more moseying out of bed at 8.30ish. No more leisurely morning cups of tea in the sun room with The Guv. No more gymming mid morning. No more deciding at a whim what my day will consist of. Monday I'm back to work.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Had a back-to-work nightmare the other night... dreamt we were all dentists and I didn't know or care about what I was meant to be doing and everyone was p'd off with me.

The reality is that I haven't missed my job. Before going on maternity leave 7 weeks ago I thought I'd miss it. I haven't. I suppose that was a lifetime ago and everything has changed now. Priorities have changed. HA! I actually used to cling to my career woman image. No more. Yes, I want to be doing something, I need a sense of personal achievement - we all do - but to be at an office all day. Not keen. To be constantly bogged down with unnecessary admin - reports and such - no thanks. To be striving for goals set by others - nope. Can't say my heart is in it anymore.

The past week I have begun to dream a bit. A whole new beginning. A venture that would allow me more freedom. A venture to be run from home. A venture that would give me more time with The Band. A venture that would provide great jobs for Lily's mom and sisters. A venture that, in some small way, would honour my daughter. I am working on a business plan now and doing research and dreaming. Maybe this could be something great.

7 comments:

Being Brazen said...

good luck going back to work :)

Nicole, Graeme, Janel and Nathan said...

I know what you mean. After losing Zoe I couldn't even contemplate going back to work. Then, 3 months later, I was forced into it because we moved back to SA and Graeme had no job. In a way it helped me to focus on something other than my own pain. But I'd love to only work half days and have more time at home with my family... But God has not chosen that life for me - financially it just isn't possible for us - so hey ho! It's off to work I go. Needless to say, I've LOVED being on maternity leave this time around, even counting the sleepless nights and (initially anyway) endless baby screaming. Hang in there. The first few days will be tough, but you'll soon feel like you never left, even if your priorities are different now. Will be thinking of you and praying for you.

quartercenturycrisis said...

I'll be holding thumbs for your new venture!

Bruce said...

Once upon a time I used to define my life by my job, but these days I would not miss it one bit. I often take 3 or 4 day weekends do 'work' around the house and I never get everything done. My job seems more of a burden that keeps getting in the way of my life. I need to keep reminding myself that I need the benefits and the paycheck, but sometimes it is a struggle.

Joanne said...

You will probably find that you missed it more than you know. Lets see. I really hope that your business plan comes off, sounds good if it will provide employment for others. How is Lily?

Tamara said...

I like the sound of your venture. Hope doors open for you and that it is indeed the start of something great.

Caz said...

thanks guys :)