WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE??

Monday on Friday

So today has been a crap one.
Woke up and made cereal and milky coffee.
The milk was off - it only expires on sunday, but nevertheless.

Work has been chaotic today. a bit much.

I had to have a flu injection - so much sorer than i remember injections being. feels like BOTH my arms and my spine are bruised. I may be a mild hypochondriac tho.

SOMEHOW i have agreed to go to this meeting tonight on the other side of the planet (well close), it's a planning meeting for this workshop that I have somehow been roped into giving on creative writing. I like writing and all that but I like my weekends more!!!

I have to be in JHB from Mon to Fri next week. ugh. That means dry hair, dry skin, getting hopelessly lost and eating on the run.

Anyone keen to host a little blog party while i'm there????

This celeb needs a PA

So I took my diary home last night (schoolgirl error) and left it there(obviously). There is not a whole lot of petrol in my car (I'm a struggling actress after all) and I am LOST without it. DAM
Forget "growing up"... it's more like getting old!! esp seeing as it is a mere 17 sleeps til my BIRTHDAY!!

TMZ ME

So it seems I'm destined for stalkers and paparazzi. I should probably start hitting the coke and wearing no undies. Fame is such a burden.

This week I presented 3 short segments on climate change on a tv programme. I KNOW!

It airs in May and then it's Hollywood for me baby!!

More disturbing evidence

that i am growing up...

I have joined a bookclub. (I KNOW!)

Well actually, that's not entirely accurate... I actually started the bookclub.

It all began when my friend max and i went to this cheese and wine thing at a local bookshop here in stellenbosch (hey, free chow, what can you do?)

We started dreaming big about.. well cheese and wine really. About how we'd have this bookclub and how we'd meet new people, (It's tough in stellenbosch when all your study mates have moved on to the big cities!!) how it would be dedicated girl time, how we'd dress all nicely and make great food, etc etc We discussed how the money would work for new books and how we would rotate venues and all that.

A tubby older guy was leaning in and eavesdropping in the unsubtle way that only men can manage* and eventually, clearly unable to restrain himself any longer, he came smugly out with it: "Why don't you just join a library, it's free and no effort at all". (Picture the giant lightbulb glowing above his head as he pronounced his solution).

"HALLO!!!!" read the big bold capital lettered thought bubble above our heads, "WERE YOU NOT JUST LISTENING TO OUR CONVERSATION??? DID YOU MISS THE FACT THAT BOOK CLUBS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH BOOKS*???"

"thanks" we smiled sweetly, "that's a really swell idea" (blink blink)

NOT

* Seriously, when i'm eavesdropping aint nobody gonna know about it. I can have a whole conversation while listening to the guy behind me. It's called multitasking!

** Actually they are merely a clever ruse for our strategic planning sessions in our bid for world domination

*** Glugs.. you never read the above. This is all a dream. This is all a dreeeeeeam

So apparantly I'm growing up

It's nearly TWO O CLOCK and I only juuuuuuust remembered that I have chocolate in my drawer.

NOT ANYMORE!!!

all you can take sushi

Last night we celebrated my buddy K's birthday at Jimmy’s killer prawns. Now I personally find it more than mildly disturbing that K (who is allergic to shellfish) would choose to celebrate his birthday at such an obviously fatal place. Anywho… these all you can eat sushi things are always a bad call. I should have known.

First of all it takes FOREVER to get your sushi. All the non-sushi eaters had ordered their calamari or prawns or whatever and finished it before we got our first plate (of course the sheer desperate starvation meant that we helped them finish their food...)

Secondly as the evening wore on, and our looks to the manager were infused with more and more venom, the little platters that were coming out of that sushi kitchen were getting smaller and dodgier…

The one thing that I got was thin slivers of cucumber and a sliver of prawn tied together with seaweed. RANDOM. K got a maki roll with seaweed surrounding rice and nothing else. No fish. Nada. Then later they seemed to run out of avo and rice. That got interesting. Oblong oval kind of seaweed shapes with only fish inside. All shlopped apart in the soya sauce.

For the record I should mention that the sushi chefs looked suspiciously Korean or Vietnamese… IMPOSTERS!! And I think that the manager was probably helping them out in the end. It was that bad!

anyone had a dodgy sushi encounter?

looong weekend

what a great weekend. and how stoked am i that 2 May is now a public holiday. VIVA to our comrades in COSATU!

This weekend I:
* went to a wedding
* saw an owl
* ate too much chocolate
* went to the beach
* read lots
* sat on my stoep and bird-watched with my new binocs (hey, birdwatching's cool!)
* discovered more Dharma Initiative hatches in the wild places above our farm
* did something wild in the wild places above our farm ;o)
* baked peanut butter cookies

All in all a satisfactorily (say that 10 times fast) unproductive weekend... just what i needed.

Bag Tag

So EM&CT tagged me to reveal the contents of my handbag. At first I thought my contents would be VERY boring and minimal, until I discovered a little gem still in there from the weekend... but I digress.

This is the handbag:

(I know - brown worn leather look - I really am such a cliche. I make myself sick.) but I do love it.

And these are the contents:



It contains:
* one random green ribbon
* my wallet (brown worn leather - no surprises there)
* some of my business cards (slightly crushed)
* a listerine pocket pack (freebie from the argus expo - SCORE!)
* my argus entry details
* some highlighters
* some pens
* the latest letter from my gran
* some nail polish and a nail file - old and not very useful anymore
* lipgloss
* some ancient wimpy sweets
* savlon cream? no idea
* and my personal favourite... a black g-string (I KNOW!!)

HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE!!!!!

M-ing it up

So yesterday was my grad ceremony. The reason my folks and gran were down to visit.

It was great for 3 main reasons:
* I got the day off work
* I got given roses and earrings and chocolates (and attention) by my loved ones
* Had a great evening with the fandam

So the day started with this seminar thing. All the M graduates from my department had to present their research to students, family and friends. It was quite boring in general, some of the people went into minute detail (freaks) and made crappy powerpoints. Mine was obviously the most interesting (the band confirmed this) and featured lots of funny pics. My topic was Climate Change in the Media. (Basically my findings were that the media suck and we're all going to die) Ok, not actually, but I'm on a little bit of a sugar rush (from the aforementioned chocolates) and that always makes me a little sharp-edged.

After that we had this amazing lunch. REALLY GOOD.

Then it was off to grad. It was a loooong HOT wait and I had to sneak into the grad storeroom to get my other coloured band thingies coz they didn't have them there and really, if I'm going to sit through the entire (1st half) of a ceremony to cross a stage, I can at least be wearing my previous stripy thingmajigs.

After doing my lap on stage I escaped (as per family tradition) through the toilets/emergency exit under the stage.

My family were duly proud (much more proud of my early sneaky escape than my degree I think) and it meant we got an extra hour or so for a sundowner at The Terrace before heading to dinner. (Sushi for me obviously)

The Caz Inn is now closed to business

After 2 weeks the last of our visitors finally left this morning. Tonight I plan to slouch around in my undies or kaalgat, to leave the marg out, leave the toilet seat up, not replace the TP roll, use all the hot water in one long shower and not wash the dishes.

ok, ok, that really sounds 100% more like the band than me! I don't think I'll do any of the above, but the point is that if I WANTED to I could!

So my units left this morning along with my gran - she's nearly 89 and her name is Noon and she rocks! I miss them already to be honest.

For 2 weeks between the band's folks and mine our fridge has seen some serious action and our cars have never been so full of petrol for so long. We've eaten like kings and been generally spoilt.

BUT I can't wait to get home tonight, plop on the couch, eat something effortless and watch a movie.

To EM&CT

My loyalist and longest reader....

We've been through a lot together - new jobs, new degrees, new bands, inlaws, outlaws, new marriages, new men, new bambinos, new puppies and my best: the myspace deception. This poem is for you...

An ode

You are the mucous that binds us bloggers
You are not unlike Pritt
EM and CT:
the blogosphere you have uplit

You speak a lot of sense
You speak a lot of sh.. um .. wit
You speak a lot in general
The guys all think you're fit

The end x

This is fantastic...

It's business time... click here!

HIGH ALERT: Maternal unit on the move

So the most loyal readers (anyone? ANYONE??) will remember me fearing my mother's visits. Remember the nightmare where she comes to my front door all Agnes Matabani-like and enquires whether I have stains in my toylet??

It's happening again.

I've had people (many many people...aka The Others) staying in my house since last Friday. People who love to spoil (and i use the term without any affection) the dogs and invite them on the couch. People who are very unfazed by untidiness.

Well the MIL and FIL leave tomorrow morning and my parental units arrive on Saturday morning. SERIOUSLY!! Add to this that my housecleaner (Home Executive? Char? Maid???)is not well and hasn't been in a week and you can just imagine...

It's not pretty. Tomorrow night is going to be a looooong one involving too much cleaning and not enough "catching up" with my band.

The happy news is that the reason for my folks visit is my graduation on Tuesday. YAY!! They are so loyal - it's my 3rd grad and they always come and sit through the whole boring thing. Last time I escaped out the emergency exit after doing my lap and smsd them from outside.

The cringy thing happens before the grad - I have to give a presentation of my research to a group of students, family and friends. BLIND! My dad reckons it's expected of him to ask appropriately challenging questions.... oh he'll be so sorry if he does!!!! :)

The Others remain

So most of The Others have left, just the MIL and FIL left. They leave on Friday.

All is going ok. The Father-in-Law took it upon himself to defrost my freezer and the Mother-in-Law insisted I try her nail strengthening stuff. I have decided to embrace both of these actions as perks and read nothing into them.

Also they have done a substantial amount of shopping. Our fridge has never seen so much action... ever! There is about 4 litres of milk in there (woolworths, low fat), an exotic variety of yoghurts (woolworths, full cream), a brick of cheddar (woolworths, R60), a massive jar of mayonnaise (woolworths, approx 99% pure fat) and an eclectic mix of salad ingredients, juices and vegetables (all, obviously, woolworths). In my cupboards I have also discovered about 5kg of sugar (woolworths) and much 2-ply (also, yup, woolworths). Our breadbin features a variety of (woolworths) loaves and our cupboard a nice array of brand new (woolworths) gravys, spices and tinned tomatoes.

They sleep with their bedroom door open which is a little creepy coz I never know if they're awake when I walk past to the bathroom. Also, seeing as our room is next door, not much room is left for any.. well .. oh nevermind!

As mentioned previously, the dogs think they have died and gone to doggy heaven. THEY ARE LIVING IT UP IN A BIG WAY!! Always on a lap, or WORSE: in their room with them. No doubt by the time MY folks arrive on Saturday (Yup, the in laws leave and my folks arrive!!!) the room will be filled with fleas. LOVELY!! Also, I bet that by Friday the dogs will be accustomed to Woolworths dog food and will be refusing the cheap stuff they previously loved.

Anyone got any in-law / future in-law stuff to share?

Spandex... looooots of spandex

So The Others arrived on Friday as planned. The house looks........ interesting.

I find it quite fascinating co-habiting with Other People... I guess everyone secretly feels that their own family is normal and the way they do things is right. (I obviously do) So for example, I think my in-laws find it weird that I use a handtowel-like thing as a bath mat. I think big thick rubber lined bathmats are urgly. Similarly ...oh and this is a BIG one... they DEFINITELY find it weird that I am not happy with the muttlies being allowed on laps or couches. Yes, great guys, let's just develop horrendous habits so I can unteach them when you're gone.

Trying to coordinate the movements of 8 people was definitely more exhausting than the argus. On Saturday we all went through to CT to register for the race. They have this huge expo where everyone tries to sell you "essentials" for the race. I scored plenty of freebies and handouts without buying a thing. My freebies include:
* several razors (nice ones, mens and ladies)
* 3 bottles of nasal spray
* two packets of breath mints
* a tin of tuna
* a deodorant
* a body butter
* plenty of random samples of random energy drinks
* a leg massage
* a gross energy bar

There was other stuff, but I can't remember it all now.

Anyway, can you imagine 8 of us in this huge big expo centre trying to find everyone, trying to get everyone ready to leave, and then one car following the other through cape town traffic. Sounds not unlike hell to me.

And on to the Argus...
for the non SA people out there, the Argus Cycle Tour is 109km cycle through the most beautiful parts of Cape Town, around the peninsula and over Chapman's Peak, through Camp's Bay back to greenpoint.

This was my first argus and being more of a mathlete than an athlete I was understandably nervous. Let it be known that there was NO sleep on Saturday night. I suspect though that this may be more because of all the samples of energy drinks and the three weeks of carbo loading (I know I know)than nerves.

Sunday FINALLY came and we were off. We only started after 10am and yes, it was frikken BOILING on Sunday. But beyond all likelihood I LOVED EVERY MOMENT OF THE ARGUS. What's not to love? For a whole day you have thousands of people shouting nice things to you and encouraging you and telling you you're looking great and you can do it. You have people offering to fill your water bottle, you have people handing you free juice and bar ones, you have people offering to cool you down by pouring water on you. Little kids want to high five you as you ride by (in retrospect their intentions were probably evil - there is a looot of gusto in those high fives and I did well to stay on my bike!), you have physios at your beck and call (dam straight I cashed in!). As I'm sure you can imagine I was loving the crowd... at some point I sparked a Mexican wave. It was my moment people!

All in all I LOVED it. Chapman's Peak is overrated. Not tough at all. And the only part of me that hurts is my chafed bum.

Dont say I'm not honest!

So perfect

This is my band, Into the Great Wide Open (IGWO for short) with our latest album Nature Cures the Disease.



NOW WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF MINE???

This is how you can get your own band!
1. Click this link. The first title on this page is the name of your band.


2. Now click this link. The last four words of the very last quote is the name of your album. If it doesn't work at all, click the "New Random Quotations" button for more.


3. And finally, click this link. The third picture on this page will be your album cover. Add your band name and album title, and you're done! (Please remember to give credit for the original picture.)

(Thanks to Expensive Mistakes for introducing me to my band!! Click here to visit her blog and see her latest album. Click here to vote for her in the SA Bloggers Awards under the Best Personal Blog category.

The Others are COMING!

So on Friday my inlaws arrive. Not just my MIL and FIL, but also the brother(s)-in-law and sister(s)-in-law. YUP!!! The WHOLE ENTIRE CLAN. It could be testing to say the least.

6 extra people in our two bedroom, 1 loft, ONE BATHROOM cottage is going to be.. interesting. My inlaws are caravanners. Gypsies of sorts if you will.
As a result they are used to setting up shop wherever they roam. Last time my MIL was here she even brought her SERVIETTE HOLDER!!! (I kid you not!!)

The good news is that while they are not light packers by any stretch of the imagination, their luggage ALWAYS includes presents and yummy foodstuffs.

My MIL is a jewelry maker - into her beading and whatnot - but fortunately she is actually dam talented at it so I have HEAPS of beautiful jewelry (Ok, it's beside the point that i wear the same necklace and bangle every day - if i WANTED to venture out I could!!). Also she is a baker... LOVES to bake for her favourite youngest child aka The Band. And he is great at hinting for greek shortbread (I know!!), crunchies, cheesecake, rusks and so on. (DAM I feel obesity coming on).

All of us, aside from the MIL, are doing the argus on sunday. THat's a LOT of spandex that's going to be congregating in my little housie.
PEOPLE, WISH ME LUCK!

:)

My brush with death

So I don't know if I mentioned it, but somehow I let the band enter me in the Argus. Then I allowed him to buy me a bike. This all seemed sweet and nice last year, but last year has sneakily turned into this year and the (bluddy) argus is now less than TWO WEEKS AWAY!! (EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK)

Now unlike my band, I am not one of those annoying naturally fit people. I do not have a blitsvinnig metabolism. If I am going to get through any kind of sporting event alive I need to have done the training. The band is not well disciplined in these things because he IS one of the annoying naturally fit types. But nevertheless the training is now underway (good that i can say that LESS THAN 2 WEEKS PRIOR TO THE AGONY ARGUS!!!)

On Saturday we went for a huge long cycle. Over a mountain pass, through the forests etc etc. Beautiful and all, but... stretching. We were on our way home, having done about 60kms (I KNOW!!!) and then it happened.

It wasn't another cyclist, wasn't a car, wasn't a downhill or an uphill for that matter. I was on a straight pavement, cycling at an impressive speed and as i reached down for my water bottle I saw a huge (from my perspective) gash in the paving. I panicked and braked (broke?)and screamed something less than ladylike. Next thing I was on the ground stuck under my bike. T-shirt lifted to expose the height to which my porno padded spandex shorts had crept. The band was ahead of me so the first hero to the scene was a super serious cyclist. He has all the best gear and the little cycling shoes and the gaudy spandex top (no t-shirt and takkies for this pro!) It was humiliating to say the least. I was stuck. Couldn't move. So he had to lift my bike off me. The worst was trying to explain what had happened. From a stationary vantage point the "gash" in the pavement was unimpressive so I basically slammed on brakes for inexplicable reasons. Not cool.

What IS cool is that I have INCREDIBLY impressive bruises on my one leg. THey are more like rainbow-hued welts really. I especially wore a skirt yesterday so I could show as many people as possible. They look pretty hard core. Unfortunately they are quite upper thigh so I can't realy show guys. But I took a photo with my phone to get around that one. I have been very brave following my brush with death. I got straight back on the bike and cycled the 7km home from there. Gravel covered head held high.

Apparantly if you haven't fallen off a bike you aren't riding hard enough. I guess that makes me a hard rider. Ok that sounds like one of those cheeseball skanky ass condom brands so let me take that back....

Check my leg... the lumpiness is swelling... hardcore hey?!?

So the band and i are addicted

to 24.

Someone lent us the first 4 seasons and now we're hooked. For the sake of our marriage we have compiled a strict list of rules for when we get addicted to a series:

1. (and most important) absolutely no watching ahead without the other one.
The breaking of rule number one has resulted in many fights and many incidences of me being forced to sulk in shocked dismay. The problem is usually that my narcolepsy kicks in after a few episodes and the band then watches ahead while I sleep!
DON'T DISCRIMINATE AGAINST NARCOLEPTICS!!

2. When rule number 1 is broken, no lying about it!
That's the real betrayal. When you are on the edge of your seat, tensing every muscle in your body, at the risk of dying a suspense-induced death and you glance over and the band is calmly inspecting a mark on the couch. Then YOU KNOW!!! The accusatory glance met with a guilty defiant avoiding of eye contact and followed with a "HAH!!!! You've SEEN this already!!!!!!!! HOW COULD YOU!?"

And so you see that addiction to series like Lost, Prison Break, Grey's Anatomy (Stef pretends not to be that interested, but he SO is) and 24 leaves our marriage in a delicate place.

LUCKILY for some reason 24 has the opposite effect to the others and after an episode I am WIDE AWAKE and totally psyched. We're on season 2 at the moment and as a result, when I do fall asleep I spend my dreams trying to deactivate nuclear bombs, interrogate terrorists and just generally save the planet from armageddon.

What a week

SERIOUSLY!! (yes, yes, I do watch to much Grey's Anatomy and I SERIOUSLY wish they'd get a move on with producing more episodes)

So as I mentioned, anniversary night was marred by my husbands retching. It was a couple of days before he was healthy again.. Friday night I got back from work and ran over the band's dog. Needless to say, after that I was the one vomiting.

Loyal readers (anyone? ANYONE??) will remember my issues with the dogs. Click here for a refresher. Anyway, contrary to popular opinion I certainly would never try to run over an animal. Not even zac, though we have certainly not always seen eye to eye (there's an ongoing power struggle between us for the band's affection - he thinks he was there first, but please, the band was Definitely already loving me back then... I mean "zac" is "caz" backwards after all.. subliminal messaging people, I am not immune.

ANYWAY!!! so there was much retching from me following the incident (ok, fine, the retching was the next day and may not have actually been related) but I did feel terrible. Zac was crying and limping and stuff. So he was taken to the vet who suggested leaving him for the weekend to see if he improved and checking back on monday. So monday came with no improvement and x-rays were taken. Turns out Zac's hip was out of joint (SINCE FRIDAY!!!!!!!) Heebee jeebeees!!!

One of my best friends was in a car accident a while back. It was really bad - to give you some idea, he had to have 8 hours worth of brain surgery, reconnecting of nerves in his arms, etc etc etc, but when he got to the hospital from the accident all he kept saying to us was that it's his hip, that he can't handle the hip being out of joint. THAT'S HOW AWFUL IT IS!!!!!

So our poor pooch had that the WHOLE WEEKEND!!! Don't ask me how the vet didn't pick that up when we first took him!! But SHAME!!

Also, and most exciting, is that the vet reckons I didn't run over zac at all... that he just lost his balance and popped his hip out when he was running behind the car.

Anyway, that was just the most recent ordeal in the life and times of caz and her band. seriously

Happy anniversary shmoo

So yesterday was our wedding anniversary. 2 years. time flies!
We kept it low key (we're pretty broke at the moment).. I made a little homecooked meal, very nice. I made my man tuna lasagne from scratch... that's right, whipped out the old pasta machine, made strips of fresh lasagne. Made a killer salad... (assorted cherry tomatos and sliced peppers in a little balsamic - grilled in the oven and put over normal salad obviously with copius amounts of cashews and feta - it's amazing!! Try it!!) and made a homemade apple crumble. All served with good red wine. I KNOW! wonderwife, that's me.

Anyway, so all was well and my incredible cooking skills were duly noted and then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

At midnight I woke up to my band puking his lungs out (sorry for the expressiveness). SICK AS A DOG! He was up all night. (gulp...maybe not quite wonderwife)

So do you think I poisoned my husband on our WEDDING ANNIVERSARY???
I ate what he ate (and some more on toast for breakfast) and I'm hundreds, so i'm telling myself that it is a stomach bug and completely unrelated to our anniversary meal..........

but not the best end to our wedding anniversary.

Random things in celebration of my 100th post

Hey look! I managed to get a pick of my creepy co worker mentioned here.







aaah little poochahontas










MY TOTAL FAVOURITE...Bananas! hahahaha

but best of all:

FREEDOM!

50 things you didn't know about me

1. I am one of the most relaxed people i know (except when it comes to Vodacom... but let's not go there)

2. I have an uncanny sense of smell. I could be a sniffer dog. Seriously. My band can't eat a thing without me knowing. And i'm accurate too!


3. I have three older brothers, no sisters, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

4. Despite my sweet exterior I'm physically quite aggressive - I was a demon in the waterpolo pool! Vicious!

5. I watch my words and am quite ordentlik in general, but I occasionally slip the word F*@# into general conversation to see if people notice and to watch my band's face.

6. I absolutely can not handle toilet references, toilet humour, etc. I am completely uncomfortable with it. People are generally very surprised by this. I'm not the prissiest person around. But it's one thing I can't take. Think it might be due to growing up under 3 brothers.

7. I have the most detailed, clear dreams almost every night and i always remember them.

8. I bake a MEAN apple crumble.

9. I adore my parents and speak to them just about every day. They are two of the funniest people I know and very dodgy!

10. I hate full panties. They creep up my bum. I'm a total g-string girl.

11. I never shout. I prefer the deathly silent approach to conflict but there's one exception:

12. ROADRAGE. I find it hugely gratifying to scream at idiot drivers. It makes me happy.

13. I was born on my mom's birthday. She never knew what i'd be and for 9 months and 2 weeks she'd been praying for a girl, then finally out I popped. Happy Birthday Mom!

14. I have developed some kind of allergy on my wedding ring finger. I have to wear my ring on my right hand coz for the past year as soon as i try switch back my finger gets all red and inflamed.

15. Despite #14 I adore married life. I think if you work at it, it is one of the most underrated practices of our times and gets a disproportionately bad rap in the media.

16. I get a handwritten letter in the post once a week from my gran and she gets one back from me.

17. I am a sub-editing nut. I automatically sub-edit things as I read them and I actually enjoy it. I'm amazed at how many errors make it past sub-editors in the media. My best one in recent times was a picture in the Cape Times. The caption below the pic read: "CAPTION: Two line caption please two line caption please two line caption please two line caption please two line caption please"

18. I hate the uneccessary use of the quotation marks. For example Toys "R" us. Yes, thanks, we get it. You are very cleverly and originally shortening the word 'are' to 'R' and just in case we think you have made a mistake you have put those helpful little quotation marks there to show us. Can "U" please "B" less "irrit8ing"??

19. When I was 12 and we were all getting ready for our first school 'disco' I overheard a school friend laughing saying that I'm such a clown that she can't imagine me dancing. I've had a complex when I dance ever since.

20. I fully believe that I started the whole trend on green as a wedding colour. Every one has copied me on it.

21. My favourite part of a meal at a shmancy restaurant is the warm, dense bread and butter they bring before. DAM IT'S GOOD!

22. I notice the way people speak and can become a little obsessive about it. We had this one lecturer from Gabon and his crutch word was 'actually' pronounced 'uck-tchoo-wuh-lee". Where others would say 'um' he'd say actually. So it would be like "So actually for sustainable development to actually work we actually need to bring in community development actually as an element." I used to spend his lectures counting the actualies. I think i got to over 200 once.

23. I absolutely hate the smell of strawberry yoghurt. BLEGH it makes me want to spew. My office sharer eats one every day and I open all the doors and windows and throw it in the kitchen bin afterwards. I suspect she eats them more often now she knows it nauseates me.

24.I don't have a tv - we watch dvds etc, but there's no tv connection. I never plan to get one.

25. My gran had breast cancer and so did my mom. My mom is fine now. My gran died. My chances of getting breast cancer are very high. I like to think it doesn't bother me or freak me out, but every now and then I have a dream about it, so I know it's in there somewhere plaguing me a little.

26. I am rooting for Britney Spears.

27. I love owls.

28. When I get a fright my feet ache. I think all the adrenalin rushes down there or something.

29. I love cheesy humour. Actually, that shouldn't be on this list.. im sure you did know that about me.

30. My favourite place in the world is the Wild Coast. I love everything about it. The people, the smells, the views, the cows, the sea, the food. It's definitely my happy place.

31. I hate blowing up balloons. It gives me a creepy feeling in my glands. It's vile.

32. I am a narcoleptic. Ok, not quite, but I do like my sleep and it's rare that i make it through a dvd or movie (even at the cinema) without a little nap inbetween. Nothing like a drawn out fight scene to cure insomnia. If i'm with good friends I can fall asleep right in the middle of the conversation.


33. My ears are the most (unpleasantly) sensitive part of my body. I can't stand anyone being near them.

34. The solution to all my problems is a hot bubble bath. If I'm tired, sick, depressed, or whatever I hop in the bath. I think a water birth would work well for me.

35. I am a mild germophobe. I wash my hands after touching anything public.

36. I eat pizza and fruit with cutlery. I hate having sticky fingers.

37. I love series like Lost, Prison Break, Grey’s Anatomy and 24, but my best show of all time is Seinfeld. Elaine is my hero.

38. I’m a laid back type and most comfortable in slops and shorts, but since I started this job I have upped the preppiness. I think you should dress for the job you want not the one you have, so I am.

39. I’m the chick you always see singing her lungs out in the traffic.

40. I have caught crocodiles with my bare hands and hitchhiked through Botswana.


41. I won this big poetry competition in grade 11 and have never lived it down.

42. I cannot take angelina jolie and since her, I think Brad Pitt is a total wuss.

43. I harbour secret fantasies about someone trying to break in/attack me and me sorting them out good and proper! (see #4) I believe that they would come off second best - I would have pure rage on my side.

44. I find most babies completely intimidating and their mother's even more so. My friend kate who has a 2 month old is (unbeknown to her) helping me conquer this. She's fantastic and doesn't pour on the guilt or panic when the baby cries in my arms. KATE YOU ROCK!

45. There are few things as cool as receiving something personal in the post.

46. My first car (which i had in my first couple of years at varsity) was a Nissan Pulsar (nicknamed Breyton of course). It was a little hatchback thing which has already had 3 owners in my family alone! A broom handle held the boot open when necessary. Oil needed filling once a week. I think that the sound system (inherited from my brother) may just have been worth more than the car. At the end of it, we sold Breyton for R4000. I loved that car and when my (future) kids want cars one day, I'll teach them humility by starting them off on a breyton. A 3rd class drive is better than a first class walk. Oh geez. I officially just turned into my dad!!

47. I am a birthday and christmas nut. And yes, OBVIOUSLY the presents are a beeeg bonus, but i also love that on Christmas I get to bond with all my fam and on my birthday I always hear from the most random people that I haven't heard from in a year. I love that!

48. I am the eternal optimist and enter every competition I can. I sms all those product things and visit Win Now. Last month I won a pair of binoculars for the winning letter in the latest Wildside Magazine.

49. I have two tubs of bubbles on my desk from a wedding I went to. Stressed colleagues tend to come in, sit down and start blowing bubbles. It seems to be very therapeutic.

50. What he said:

Creepy co-worker! (case 1)

So there's this guy who works for my company. Our head office is in Stellenbosch which is where i live (and all the readers turned green with envy) but this guy works in our Joburg satellite office so we don't see him too often.
But whenever we DO see him, like this week for example, the following disturbing things happen:

* He frequently winks at us girls. At first we thought it was like a tic or a involuntary twitch. But the winks always manage to coincide with something mildly suggestive which he is saying at the time.

* He is a kisser. And not a polite, francophile kiss on the cheek, but a full on lip kiss on which always seems to leave a gobby imprint. eeeeeeeeeeeugh. Now call me a prude, but I don't think it's entirely appropriate for work colleagues to be snogging each other at every opportunity. (sure there are exceptions, like if I worked on the set of Prison Break for example, the rules would be different)There are few people I ever kiss on the lips. My band. Possibly some family and one or two choice friends who may just be those sort of people which is fine. But NOT work colleagues. I mean honestly. It's not like I miss him so much each time he's away that i need to KISS him when I see him. It's disgusting. And also, it's not just the first time you see him. Like this week, for eg, he will try to get one in every day. I MEAN SERIOUSLY PEOPLE... HOW SIFF IS THAT?? Fortunately it is not just me... it's all the younger ladies in the office. but still. When he arrived I tried SO HARD to avoid the snog. Really I did. I was carrying a huge stack of A2 boxes which basically meant there was a metre of safety between me and anyone and so i kind of waved a hurried hallo and tried to make a run for it. "HEY!!! CAROLYN! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? IS THAT IT? AREN'T YOU GOING TO EVEN SAY HALLO PROPERLY??" (~wink!~) eeeeeeeeeugh people. there really is no escape.

* Today he commented on the fact that he would have no problem if i wanted to wear cleavage tops (~wink!~). Incidentally I don't wear cleavage tops to work thank you very much but WHO SAYS THAT TO A COLLEAGUE!!!

Now before you have me writing to the CCMA crying sexual harassment, he is my senior so i can't be too rude and also he's not actually after me, he's just a generally cringeworthy guy. BUT STILL!

GOVERNMENT WARNING!!!

Do not swallow your chewing gum.
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Guess which

devoted little blogmeister revamped her blog?
ME!!!

That's right people, I'm living the dream!

CREEEEPY PEOPLE & WEIRD COINCIDENCE!

So last night i watched this documentary "The most hated family in America". If you can get hold of it you MUST watch it. It's unbelievable!!!!!

It's all about this church which consists mainly of one (LARGE) family. They believe that they are the only people in the world going to heaven and their whole entire message is that God hates America (nice!).

They even have a website all about it. If I had just seen the website I would have thought it was a joke, but seeing the documentary I am ... (speechless?)

Basically their whole message is that everything bad that happens is a result of God's punishment and they therefore REJOICE in it. For example, if a US soldier dies in Iraq they go picket at his funeral saying how "God hates fags" (they consider anyone who doesn't agree with them 100% to be the equivalent of a homosexual in God's eyes). They say that God is punishing america for her liberal ways. Their one picket sign says "Praise God for 9/11". It's really so sick.

Frighteningly, appallingly, atrociously they call themselves christians, more specifically "baptists".

I'm sure the baptists in America must be cringing over that. Coz I sure as hell am cringing over them calling themselves christians!!! THEY ARE SO FAR OFF. Kind of wonder if they've ever seen the new testament.

There's one part in the documentary where this nearby church has a fire and they rejoice! They picket outside it calling it a "fag church". Their theory being that the fire was God's wrath and therefore the church must be evil. Psychos. Don't know which God they know, but he's not even RELATED to mine!

Anywho, let me not digress. What's truly weird is this: Having never heard of these evil people til last night, I was pretty surprised to stumble upon a news article of them this very day. Click here to read about how they plan to picket at HEATH LEDGER'S memorial because he acted in Brokeback Mountain.

Oh the depths to which I have fallen

So I never thought I would stoop so low...
using my own personal bl- no... never mind. I can't do it.
I won't.

Oh the painfulness of coming up with titles

Welcome back to Batchfoo!! Click here to read all about her new uber-cute bambino!

Well I am back after a loooooong holiday. DAMMIT PEOPLE WHY DID IT HAVE TO END???

I still have serious post holiday blues :( CLEARLY
and on top of it i am sick - ears, throat etc.

I stayed home from work yesterday and watched mr wentworth miller for most of the day which did make me feel happier, though it did nothing to lower my temperature!!!

Can you guys believe Heath Ledger died? How sad is that!? and he has a 2 year old!

OK so after much laziness and lack of writing at least this tiny post is a start!

ok byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

oooooh the lengthiness of the last weeks before vacation!

People, it is 9 days 8 hours fifty eight minutes and twenty two seconds til the last days of work (yup - I am geeky enough to have actually placed a countdown timer on my desktop!)

I CAN HARDLY CONTAIN MYSELF!! No really.

BUT TIME IS DRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGING!!
so loyal readership (cher)
what's news?

So on friday i have two year end parties - one day and one night and both of them are pirate themed... what are the chances.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN!

Have i used that title before? probably. I'll be honest, it's not my most original effort, but it is VERY multiplicable. Yes, i made that word up, hence it is a cazism.

Multiplicable: - (adj) Applicable in various ways, Applicable for a number of reasons, eg. the title of Jake White's autobiography In Black and White is multiplicable in that it refers not only to the colour of the text on the paper, but also puns on his surname as well as referring to the racial debate in SA rugby.

I could SO write dictionaries!

Anyway, to expand upon the multiplicable nature of THE FINAL COUNTDOWN:

1) It is the final countdown - 17 days to go - until I take a ONE MONTH VACATION!!!!! (Don't moan... masters and a full time job - you KNOW I deserve it!!)

2) It is the final countdown - a matter of hours - til one of my favourite people gives birth to her bambino and I find out whether I'm an aunty or an uncle. haha, ok til i find out if it's a boy or a girl... clarification for those that live in these parts: KATE IS IN LABOUR - woohoo!!

3) It is the final countdown until I am back to my wedding weight.... lost 6kgs only 4 to go.

4) It is the final countdown until I see my dog - PHOEBE!! Yay! And also all my brothers, my neice, my folks and my gran!
This is Phoebe... how cute is that!!


5) It is the final countdown til I find out whether or not I am preggers, knocked up, etc. HA HA Cherilyn, don't freak out... I REALLY REALLY doubt it, however, due to extenuating circumstances there is a slight chance.

6) It is the final countdown til I hear whether or not I passed my Masters (sometime at the end of the year)

So anyway, I trust I have been successful in embedding that song in all of your heads? haha

Whose birthday is it??

LISTS

So I found an interesting new blog click here to see it - quite cool - and it inspired me to make my own little list which I'm sure will be added to over the coming weeks and I hope you guys will add to it to (if there is anyone out there....anyone at all?)

LIST OF THINGS THAT BUG THE HELL OUT OF ME:
* Vodacom service provider (obviously)
* Facebook users that invite you to every stupid application there is - like vampires???
* Facebook profiles that have a gazillion applications and take forever to load
* IT people who know less than me
* Cold weather when it is meant to be summer :(

LIST OF THINGS THAT MAKE ME EXCEPTIONALLY HAPPY:
* My hammock!!!
* My band!!!
* The month of holiday that is fast approaching
* Being done with my masters (and seriously this one is big enough to stay on the list for my whole life!)
* My absolutely ADORABLE neice. Seriously, how cute is this child!!!

NO MORE NERDINESS

Ok guys, I know i've been a disgrace to blogland, but it's been a heavy year!!!

But never mind, below, you see before you SUCCESS!!!


Ok that is me*, the blogger formerly known as nerdabluddylert with my completed masters thesis. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The relief is beyond description.

Of course, there will be even more relief when i know whether or not i actually passed!!!

Anyway, now do you forgive me scarcity?? scareceness??? or whatever?

* DISCLAIMER: please note that that is me after arriving at work at 8am (ok, fine 8.45) and leaving at 2.30am - working for 18 hours straight!!! so I am looking smelly and tired and mildly neurotic - this office is creepy after midnight!!!!!

How to annoy a vegetarian

Found this article on news24.com. I think it's fantastic!!

The next time you get the urge to antagonise a vegetarian – and if you're a meat-eater you probably suffer from a perverse need to do so – lean towards them over the dinner table and deliver one of the following immortal lines:

1. Did you know Hitler was a vegetarian?
2. But you’re wearing leather shoes.
3. So what made you give up meat – was it for religious reasons?
4. Moo/Baa/Oink (in accordance with whichever meat dish you’ve just ordered).

This will elicit a reaction, but not, as you may like to think, because you’ve ruffled fragile vegetarian sensibilities with your rogueish wit. The real reason they’re peeved is that they’ve heard all of these facetious remarks (not to mention the barnyard impressions) many, many, many times before. The prospect of getting into an argument with you also bores them to death, so more often than not they’ll just give you a pained smile and return to their tofu.

But there are lots of important things they could say to you on the topic, so, to save them the bother and tedium, I’ve listed the appropriate responses to the above comments for you here (except for number 4, which is too puerile to waste another second on).

Vegetarians, please feel free to print out and distribute as needed:

Did you know Hitler was a vegetarian?
Let’s just consider for a moment what the man would have been like, and the implications for world history, if he hadn't been a vegetarian. And anyway, there are enough overwhelmingly virtuous famous vegheads - Gandhi, Albert Schweitzer, St Francis of Assisi - to cancel him out.

But you’re wearing leather shoes
This is quite a tricky one actually… OK, here goes:

The world is a complicated place, rendered in shades of grey. Deciding not to care about an issue just because it gets a little confusing and morally murky is sheer intellectual laziness. It’s not great to wear an animal’s hide on your feet, true, but it’s considerably better than wearing one animal’s hide and also partaking of the flesh of several others.

So what made you give up meat – was it for religious reasons?

The irritating implication of this question is that if you can demonstrate you’re a vegetarian for religious-cultural reasons, then you’ll have the right to be taken seriously, whereas any other reason is somehow flakey and light-weight. Here are some of those ‘light-weight’ reasons:

Because it eases the burden on the health system
Buddha aside, how many overweight vegetarians can you think of?

Studies suggest that a vegetarian diet reduces risk for some of the biggest killers stalking the modern world:

Cardiovascular disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure and stroke
Cancer, especially of the colon and reproductive organs, Obesity,
Type 2 diabetes, Gallstones and diverticular disease

In addition to these ills, feeding on other animal species, especially when they’re kept en masse for convenient culling for the dinner table, is not a great idea if you consider the communicable diseases that have arisen from the practice. Bovine spongiform encephalopathy (mad cow) and avian influenza (bird flu), to name just a couple. And let's not forget that HIV/Aids is thought to have had its origins in the human consumption of other primates i.e. bushmeat hunting.

Because it eases the burden on the planet
Billions of flatulent cows and, to a rather lesser extent, sheep, produce an awful lot of methane, one of the most potent of the greenhouse gasses. This, plus the vast amounts of fossil fuel required to accommodate, slaughter, aesthetically package and transport all that tasty meat makes livestock farming one of the biggest contributors to global warming.

And it takes up huge tracts of land and gallons upon gallons of water. Growing crops uses resources too, but nothing like as much. Besides which, most of those crops are used, not to feed the world's growing human population, but to feed livestock destined for meat-eaters’ plates: about two thirds of grain produced is fed to animals farmed for meat and milk.

Because underdogs rule
Despite a slight increase in visibility and status in recent years, vegetarians remain an often derided and unappreciated minority. But it’s always been cooler to be an underdog than a top dog, to buck the system than to slavishly follow the status quo.

Vegetarians' cool rating is further elevated by some of the Names they have in their midst: J.M. Coetzee, Alice Walker, Steve Jobs, Annie Lennox and, for some unfathomable reason, a large number of pro skateboarders, BMXers and other extreme athletes. OK, there’s also Larry Hagman and Pamela Anderson, but that just serves to show there is no such thing as a vegetarian ‘type’.

But mostly they’re cool because they’ve put some pretty deep concerns before the craven appeasing of their own appetites. As freestyle BMX vet and all-round ultra-cool extreme vegan dude Taj Mihelich succinctly puts it: “I don’t think that I’m so important that an animal has to die every time I want to eat.”

nerd a bluddy lert

Hi all
I'm sorry i suck so much! phew. It's the Bluddy Masters. Note: the official title is now The Bluddy Masters. Not the Masters, the BLUDDY masters.

SOOOOOOOOO tired of it now. tired of reading about climate change.

Figured out that I have been studying now for 19 YEARS!!!! NERD-A-BLADDY-LERT!

My thesis needs to be in and complete at the end of Oct so i pretty much need to finish this weekend to allow time for corrections etc. OOOOH THE STRESS!!!

the band has been away ALL WEEK so i have got some work done. But it has been sooooooooo lonely and i've had horrible nightmares every night - tam: even worse than a nipple on your bum! All these shark dreams and dreams about radioactive virus things and poisonings and supporting the indian cricket side. seriously.

Anyone out there a grey's anatomy fan? How yum is mcdreamy!?

anyway, i'll be back sooner next time.

Sux

These are things which suck at present:
* I have flu AGAIN (cough cough cough)
* I have a blister on my ankle from my stoopid leaking hot water bottle and it is feeling sorer than it should... I hope they don't have to amputate
* stupid blogger doesn't allow for bullet points so i have to use these dumb little *s
* I can only breathe through one nostril
* one of our cars was stolen last night
* it was the one i moaned about and called a pile of crap
* it wasn't insured
* i have to sit at home tonight and work on my masters

Hen's night... help!??

So I'm trying to organise a very last minute somewhat unofficial hen's night for a buddy of mine. Her wedding and all her bridesmaids are in natal, but she has moved to stellenbosch and has a lot of friends here who can't make the hen's night in natal.

Anyway, so now i am trying to put together a quickie low key one for thursday night. I NEED TIPS PEOPLE! And tips a little more creative than "strafdops".

One idea which i thought was quite funny was as she opens her presents (it's a lingerie party) someone writes down what she says and at the end she has to read out all the comments and we say it's what she'll be saying on her wedding night. So it will be look "Oh that is soooo cute! I love purple. Thanks so much, that's lovely!" etc. hahaha, Ok, well i think it is pretty funny. Anyway, what else? I am stumped. Anyone got a good recipe for mohitos? I thought that afterward we could take her out in Stellenbosch with a "scavenger" list of duties etc. I had one on my hen's night and it was pretty funny. For example: I had to take a photo inside the guy's bathroom, I had to collect 3 chest hairs, I had to sing a song on a table, i had to get 3 guys to propose, etc etc. And because you're dressed funny with the list hanging around your neck, people get really into it. WHAT ELSE THOUGH???

I’m married to a saint… and sometimes I want to kill him

So I don’t know if I mentioned it, but last month I got a lovely new car. It’s beautiful. Air con, power steering, great sound system, doesn’t have the tendency for sporadic epileptic fits as soon as I hit 100km/hr, doesn’t require a broom handle to hold the boot open. All in all, by my standards pretty darn luxurious. Driving it makes me feel happy. It makes me WANT to run random errands.

Ok, so now you know, I love the new car.

Unfortunately I have pretty much forgotten what it looks like. Why? Because my darling, wonderful, generous husband, ever so kindly lent it to his boss’s wife for 3 weeks while he had to use their vehicle for work purposes.

Where does that leave me? Well it leaves me driving a cranky piece of ... rubbish which has absolutely no heating system whatsoever. As a result I have been coughing up lungs for the last month.

“Last month?” You ask. “But I thought it was a 3 week loan.” You and me both!

You see the 3 weeks ended on Saturday, but now the car he has been driving needs a service and new parts and stuff, so in the meantime I continue driving the … crud car.
Which is fine… What’s a little hypothermia between friends….

Except that for the past two mornings it has BROKEN DOWN ON MY WAY TO WORK!!
(I am so calm… I am SO FRIKKEN CALM…. I AM SO BLUDDY FRIKKEN CALM!!!!!!)

This morning I had a staff of petrol attendants pushing the pile of cr… crud. Until FINALLY, EVENTUALLY it came to life again.

Anyway, being married to a saint is sometimes not all that heavenly

Blue in the face

It's reeeeally been one of those days. Anywho, I dashed home at lunch time and attempted to open a tin of tuna. Stupid non-electric tin opener was giving me grief but eventually with a colossal splat(!) the tin opened, at the same time covering my VERY nice black coat with tuna water. SIIIIFFFFF!!!!!!! I quickly half washed that part and rushed back to work. But by the look of my colleague, it still STANK! NASTY.

I am sick. Flu. *cough cough* And WWF is obsessed with meetings. Meetings, meetings, meetings. Unbelievable. The two don't mix well.

Anyway, I keep choking. Sorry if that's gross, but I'm trying to paint a picture here. I keep choking coz I am sick. But when you're in a meeting you hope it will just go away. But of course it doesn't, so around the time that my bulging eyes start watering and my face starts turning blue I have to flee out the room to get water. I must smell and look like a fish out of water. hahahahaha. Sorry. time for my meds.

the Pizza from the oven of hell

Hi all. Prepare yourself for a somewhat uninspired post. No wait, that's not the way to keep an audience. Let me start again....

SEX.
Now I've got you! So sex, hmmm. what to share, what to share.

Well the band and I went to hermanus for the weekend. It was a trip doomed from the start.... The stupid bloody antihijack device unglued itself and sucked back into the underworld of the behind-the-steering-wheel section place. So we basically had to undo the whole interior to access it so we could use the bloody car. ARGH.

That little adventure took several hours. Yes, hours. So we got there late and grumpy. the up side was that we could hear the sea. That's a very very BIG upside from she who hails from Nahoon. Sound of the sea must be one of my top 2 sounds of all time. (the other being the sound of thunder)

Anyway blah blah blah the weekend was good but had some... er.. unfortunate moments which sucked. One of them was that we went out for dinner and had the worst meal ever. A pizza, esp a simple margharita (spelling??) with pineapple is ussually a fairly safe bet. I mean how do you stuff up a pizza?? they managed. It was thin thin thin and rock hard and flaky. Dairy intolerants could have eaten it - so scarce was the cheese. Acidic ulcer sufferers could have stomached it - so rare was the tomato. Vampires in the greater western cape would have fled the province, so abundant (AND RAW) was the garlic. So siff was the pizza (and so hungry was I) that I ladled tomato bluddy sauce all over it just to give it any flavour that wasn't raw garlic. heavy days. I think i probably still stink.

Also that whole thing about garlic being good for you must be bull... my throat is killing me. And I'm very grumpy.

PS Hopelessly unstable and LOUD headboard coupled with close proximity of host's parents resulted in zero of the first mentioned topic of this post. Grumpiness multiplies.

DESPERATELY IN NEED OF A HOLIDAY

So I can do a whole lot of this.......

Celebrity liaison to the stars!!

That's right guys.... It's in my future!

So I've been SWAMPED with planning for the Live Earth concert for the last couple of months, so that's totally my excuse for being so useless and scarce.
forgive me?

Anyway in the end I ended up looking after the celebs on the night a bit... getting them to the stage on time etc,etc. So I met Pauly Shore (sullen), Joss Stone (floaty) and UB40 (old), Danny K (hmm), Angelique Kidjo (What a legend!), Zola (beaut!), Baaba Maal (sweet), etc etc.. the best of all were the Parlotones. SUCH NICE GUYS!

I think I definitely am destined to be CELEBRITY LIAISON TO THE STARS!!! Wentworth Miller is next... or maybe Josh Lucas..... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Preggers?!

Well for the past two weeks I have been utterly convinced I was preggers. I was nauseous every day. I was waaaaay late... My body just didn't feel normal at all! To cut to the chase, no, I am officially not. But a funny thing happened while I thought I was....

You know how freaked out I've always been about the whole "being someone's mom" vibe? About forgoing my career and life as I know it? About getting bigger boobs? About labour (boo-boop - mock charge!!)and all that stuff,... ok I must stop elaborating coz that pseudo morning sickness is coming back.

Anyway, the very very very VERY (you probably don't understand just how VERY) strange and unexpected thing is that I was totally (secretly) stoked! I was actually disappointed that I'm not preggers. ISN'T THAT UNBELIEVABLE??? I mean we would have been financially screwed! My DREAM job would have been overs. And on and on and yet, faced with all these realities I was merrily picking out names in my head and planning how to announce it to the family!

In the 1st 6 months of marriage I was uber neurotic about falling pregnant. I wanted 4 years with my man before any additions came along. My greatest fear was that I would fall pregnant and be devastated... that would have been awful. I think a child should be seen and spoken of as a blessing from conception! So I was way scared that I would be the evil maternal unit who was embittered by the untimely arrival of her spawn...

So I guess my point is that I am really really really happy... God has changed something in my heart. And now when I am pregnant I know that no matter what the timing I will be really really excited.

Disclaimer time all you broody peeps out there: If it goes according to PLAN this will not happen till possibly late 2008....

WATCH THIS SPACE

More vegetarian laughs

HORRIBLE CAZ

Sooo sorry guys, I have been unfaithful to you, my loyal readers. It's bluddy facebook. It's so dang addictive. I even managed to sell two VERY ugly couches on it!!

One of those days....

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

The return of the soul mate

Chris Roper has always been my favourite news24 columnist and I really missed him since his column ended last year. Well the great man is back and his very first column confirms that great minds think alike (yes, cynics, it may also prove that fools never differ). Anyway it seems that Mr Roper also feels The Rage thanks to VodaCON.

Click here for his column

Neeeiiiighbours, everybody needs good neighbours!

My landlord is a typical European genteel kind of guy. Very polite. Very respectful. All in all he's a great landlord... except for one thing: His uncanny knack to catch me in the most seemingly inappropriate moments.

The band and I live on a smallholding. No one can enter the grounds for a visit without calling us from the gate. Hence we do not have the worry of people dropping by without warning. Plus our little cottage is very private... no one walks past. You have to intend to go there to be there.

For these reasons we are quite relaxed at home. Correction: we were fairly relaxed at home.

It's my landlord

He has the most uncanny knack of coming by to drop of an invoice, fix a tap, tell us stuff when WE ARE LEAST EXPECTING A VISITOR.

Now for the most part it is not even that we are doing anything dodgy... it's generally completely innocent but would APPEAR completely dodgy.

Some examples:
I will put on some clothes.
Notice a missing button or something.
Remove pants
Sit on couch in g-.. sorry guys who know me..overshare... In onnies.
Begin to sew pants (domestic little me)
And... "knock knock knock"
Look up (through glass door directly facing me)
See Edgar.
Jump a mile high.
Do some adrenalin induced unstoppable Zulu war dance movement
Hit the floor
Leopard crawl into the safety of my bedroom and leave the band to deal with it.
(nice caz, reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal subtle!)

Else he will come midway through our sunday afternoon nap. We'll hear a sound, assume it is the pooches. Stef will go to let them in... in his onnies as well and looking creased and messy haired and dubious in general and Hallooooo Edgar.

Probably the worst one, however, happened yesterday. My man had been changing a tire or something manly and as we walked back to the house I sensibly checked that there was no-one around before quietly making a somewhat lewd suggestion about him ... um ... well .... (*this blogger swallows and wonders who will read this post*) about him removing his...er...dirty clothing and ...er... lying next to me for a bit of a...rest. (Ok, fine, so it was said a whole lot more lewdly than that as is the prerogative of a wife)

naturally, obviously, predictably this is followed by a big smiled "Hi Edgar!" from the band who had spotted the landlord mere steps away lying down fixing something under a door.

Time to buy me some oil of olay

Ok.. the whole midway through my twenties thing is starting to get to me. Yes, I am halfway to 50. I get it. ha ha, right?

Being 25 is not all it's cracked up to be! On my birthday the teller wouldn't let me draw money. I couldn't understand it. Til later when I figured out that they have changed my account type... farewell practically zero bank charges on my student bank account. Good bye to the good life!!

Today I battled to wind up (yes, wind up) my car window... Is this the first sign of a failing body?? And if so, whose?? Mine or the car's???

I was at the Neelsie over lunch today and the noise gave me an awful headache.

Or maybe it wasn't the noise, but the call I got from the dear old lady trying her damndest to sell me FUNERAL COVER!!!

Battle of the bands

Gotta say these cheesy headings give me a kick every time.

So my band is amazing.

This is what he did for my birthday...

Wednesday was quiet, and we had a few friends around in the evening. Fire, snacks, vino, 30 seconds and tried to forget about the cricket and evil vodacom.

Thursday we drove through to Cape Town and he pulled up at the Cape Sun entrance... and in we checked(?) Lovely hotel... although the exterior lifts rocketing you up to the 28th floor on not for the faint hearted or the sensitive eardrummed!

We went for dinner that night at Caribbean Cafe in Long St. My Tuna steak was AMAZING!!!

The next morning I was finally allowed to open my last present... Canon Digital Camera... STOKED!

Went and checked out the National Gallery... it was mildly depressing (many many signs about how the government doesn't support them and they get no funding etc etc... plus they should play some background music or something!!!). Then went and wondered through some art galleries in stellies. Got home in the afternoon. The lounge had been cleared, there was a raging fire, a bottle of cab, two easles, and a bunch of art supplies and we painted.

How cute is that?

the other side

So remember my nemesis? the evil ones? they who can not be mentioned without my blood pressure rising faster than sea levels world wide? They who cause me to have more knots in my back than a retired wrestler octagenarian with arthritis? They who make me want to sit facing a corner crying big tears of hopeless frustration? THEY WHO ARE THE BAIN OF MY LIFE????????

Yes, dear friends, it is my sadistic service provider of whom I speak. VODACOM (cue thunder sounds)

You almost won't believe this. I will forgive you if you laugh in incredulous disbelief. I EVEN DID.

Read here for the beginning of this story.

Anyway, the basics is this: they stuffed up my account in november, then took R6000 out my bank in december (that's right - ruin my holiday) then barred me twice over new years. After HOURS literally on the phone having to endure their AWFUL call waiting music, finally at last it was all sorted out... or so they said... in january this year.

SO THEY SAID

Now get this. ON MY BIRTHDAY I receive a sweet little happy birthday sms from them. Minutes later i receive a second sms from them... saying I owe them money. And the amount they refer to is one of their bugger ups from SEPTEMBER last year.

Now honestly. WILL SOMEONE PLEASE OWN UP?? Is there a hidden camera on me waiting for me to lose it?? Is there some psychotic stalker ex boyfriend working at the rodent meerkat company trying to get his revenge??

VODACOM EMPLOYEE: IF YOU ARE OUT THERE: DO YOU REALLY EXPECT ME TO BELIEVE THAT IT IS COINCIDENCE THAT YOU BUGGERED UP MY CHRISTMAS, MY NEW YEARS AND NOW MY BIRTHDAY?? To the very day??????

YAY!!!

So this morning I was woken up to a vision.... with the light shining in from behind the mountain creating a halo effect around my very hot husband (and that's not the vision part...) holding a tray with.... prezzies and a milky coffee (my best) and a cheesy strawberry jammy croissant(y). mmmmmmmmmm

So yes, it is my birthday. And even though I am now old. (TWENTY FRIKKEN FIVE) I still can't pull off the whole "it's just another day" act.

I get jubilantly ridiculously excited about my birthday.

My work is FANTASTIC!!!

Everyone has come to wish me this morning. I even had a quartet minus one (is there a name for a singing trio?) sing me happy birthday and give me a panda balloon. How nice is that. PLUS i only work half day today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAY!!! So I am going to enjoy the morning. Relishing in birthday cake and love and 2 ply and then go home and relish in some more loving.... (*caz smiles wickedly*)

What's in a name?

Well what is in a name? Why do we always manage to find such cheeseball names for stories, articles, essays and blog entries? So lame. Doesn't mean i intend to stop it!!!

Anyway, moving on from that random little tirade.

Names are the name of the game today. (More on that later!)
How many cliches do you think i can squish into one post?

No no limit, we'll reach for the skyyyyyyyy.

Ehem. Sorry. Forgive my jubilation. It's just that it is my birthday in 2 sleeps. No I am not stoked about reaching the kwarteeu (quarter of a century for the non saffers) milestone, it's just that birthdays are sooooo exciting. You get loads of gifts, but more importantly you get all the attention. What could possible be better? Phone calls, smses and loving aaaaall day! It's the perfect day really.

Except!!! One dark black cloud has moved accross the sun that is my big day...

The bluddy ICB (or something with three initials)has decided to go ahead and schedule the SA/Aussie semi final on MY day!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE??? Have they no decency at all?? How much attention is any male INCLUDING (and ESPECIALLY) my husband, my dad, my three brothers????? Not a whole lot I'm sure! Plus it is my mom's birthday on the day (so even the attention i would have gotten will be halved!)

Moving back to the subject of names...
Batchfoo... your bambino (if a girl) would make a very nice Caz the 2nd. And is a boy, maybe Kaz? (A kicking k just seems more masculine.)

Also on the topic of names. batchfoo quite rightly pointed out that no name blog needs a name. Any suggestions?

The true mark of a quality organization...

is 2-ply.

Now I know what you're thinking ("shouldn't it actually be 3-ply?"), but no, 3 ply is just a bit overboard. 2 ply does the job just fine.

Now you may think I have writer's block again and am just grasping here, but actually it is something I feel quite passionately about (well as passionately as someone can feel about toilet paper).

You can go to the shmanciest hotel or wine farm, but if you go to the bathroom and they are using that cheap ass 1 ply stuff you know that probably for all their big smiles and "welcome ma'ams" they are cheap underneath. The beautiful teak desk? Actually just pine with a varnish stain. The wooded chardonnay? Staves of low grade oak and no barrel usage at all. That selfnamed bottled water? Straight from the tap in the kitchen. Cheap Cheap Cheap.

Where am I going with all of this? What am I on about? From whence doth come mine inspiration? Well WWF may be an NGO (which by definition = strapped for cash) but they have class. That's right, my friends, 2 ply city here.

Return of the mac

come on... i KNOW you're humming it now. it's a classic

So today is day one at new job.

So far the essential things i have learned are that:
- lunch break is compulsary
- mid morning tea break is strongly recommended
- friday afternoon social is compulsary
- birthday = half day at work

I LIKE!!!!!!

On that note... it is a mere 15 sleeps til my birthday... YAAAAAYYYY!!!!

Somewhere inbetween

Just to let you know...

I finished up at my old job last week and only start the new one on the 10th so if i am scarce, that is why!

HOPE EVERYONE IS DOING GREAT!

A case of mistaken identity

Those who know me will probably (sadly) know my car. It's not the prettiest car in the world. It's a kind of creamish beige colour. An Opel Kadett of the old school variety. The band calls it the Hag. As in short for Haggis. Now this is not complimentary or nice on any level. But I let it slide and smirk to myself (who names a car!?!!).

Ok... my inner-child conscience is urging me to insert a little quote here that my dad would definitely be saying right about now:
"A third class drive is better than a first class walk"
There we go; conscience appeased.

Anyway last weekend my 9 year old cousin came to stay. We were driving somewhere and she suddenly exclaimed "WOAH! Your car has a clock in it!!"
To which I replied "Yes, all cars have clocks in them, this one just happens to not be a digital one."
She came back (in all sincerity - bless her little heart!!) with "So it's a real clock!!! FANCY!!!!!"

Guess who's 60!

Well this is post number... you guessed it ... 60!
(What gave it away?)

IS IT JUST ME??

Or are all gardeners sadists. Now I trust the non south African readership will bear with me on this one…

In South Africa it is fairly common to employ a gardener or a gardening service.

In my opinion gardeners – though seemingly benign and in touch with nature, are, in fact, the ultimate sadists.

Why? you ask, bewildered. Well have you ever decided that you deserve to sleep in and skip class? (just this once of course!) Well GUARANTEED that will be the day that the gardening service decides to mow the extensive lawns…. You know the ones RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW.

Or else, it’s the day of your big interview… you have woken up early (for goodness sake!!!!) and you have even dug your abandoned iron out of the nether regions of your cupboard to ensure you are looking your most spiffing and just as you are about to reach your car CHHHHHHHHHK-CHK-CHK-CHK-CHK. On come the sprinklers. Drenched.

The worst must surely be when you are sick. It’s not often that one is sick enough to warrant staying at home… and actually needing to sleep, but somehow, some way, the gardeners will ALWAYS know when you do. This is the day they use the worst of all weapons… the weed eater. It is incredible how many weeds seem to grow inches from your room right near your head.

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssss HOT!!!

So Thursday night was the big Cliff Richard concert.

The band took the ladies through to Cape Town in the afternoon and soon after he had dropped them off I got a frantic and only mildly sheepish call from them saying they had forgotten the tickets in Stellenbosch (about a 40min drive).

hmmmmm

Anyway, got that sorted and the ladies managed to get in and get decent seats.

Somewhere along the line I got a call from my mom. In the background I heard the cliff saying:
"You know, a journalist has said that I'm not cool..... well that's because I'M HOT!!"

WOW. That's all i can say.

By the end of the weekend full of two aging teenager types gushing about Cliff this and Cliff that I was just about ready to jump off a cliff!

If you are wondering where dartanion went, he has been replaced by pugnacious the panda!

Why? BECAUSE I JUST GOT THE MOST AWESOME JOB AT WWF (no, not the wrestling people, the conservation people with the panda logo!)

STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKED!!

Yes sirree

As if the stress of the impending house inspection is not enough, I also have to stress about the behaviour of these blood relatives of mine when they are here...

The ladies, you see, are coming to see Cliff Richard doing his thang at Kirstenbosch Gardens.

Devoted fans since their teenage years I can not be certain that they won't do something unforgivable in all the excitement... we have expressly forbidden them throwing any undergarments at the cliffie....

The snide response to our well placed concern was: "Who is your cliffie? It is SIR Cliff Richard to you. Have some respect!"

D Day is (almost) upon us

MY MOTHER IS COMING TO VISIT!!

Click here to read about the last time my mom visited. Scary, right?

This is scarier.... this time my aunt is coming as well! Let me give you a little context:

My aunt has 3 daughters and a son. The daughters are lovely, neat, dutiful ladies inclined to neat hair, ironed clothes, regular housework and healthy cooking (think steamed veggies).

My mom has 3 sons and a daughter. This daughter is inclined to none of the above. I blame it on my position in the family (bless you Freud for all the justifications you provide!) But really, I grew up playing cricket and waterpolo and tennis and the-moving-target-for-my-brother's-beebee-gun. Tidiness somehow never became a passion.

So before said mother and aunt arrive on wednesday some panic will ensue.

Wish me luck.