Monday, March 26, 2007

A case of mistaken identity

Those who know me will probably (sadly) know my car. It's not the prettiest car in the world. It's a kind of creamish beige colour. An Opel Kadett of the old school variety. The band calls it the Hag. As in short for Haggis. Now this is not complimentary or nice on any level. But I let it slide and smirk to myself (who names a car!?!!).

Ok... my inner-child conscience is urging me to insert a little quote here that my dad would definitely be saying right about now:
"A third class drive is better than a first class walk"
There we go; conscience appeased.

Anyway last weekend my 9 year old cousin came to stay. We were driving somewhere and she suddenly exclaimed "WOAH! Your car has a clock in it!!"
To which I replied "Yes, all cars have clocks in them, this one just happens to not be a digital one."
She came back (in all sincerity - bless her little heart!!) with "So it's a real clock!!! FANCY!!!!!"

Guess who's 60!

Well this is post number... you guessed it ... 60!
(What gave it away?)

Monday, March 19, 2007


Or are all gardeners sadists. Now I trust the non south African readership will bear with me on this one…

In South Africa it is fairly common to employ a gardener or a gardening service.

In my opinion gardeners – though seemingly benign and in touch with nature, are, in fact, the ultimate sadists.

Why? you ask, bewildered. Well have you ever decided that you deserve to sleep in and skip class? (just this once of course!) Well GUARANTEED that will be the day that the gardening service decides to mow the extensive lawns…. You know the ones RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW.

Or else, it’s the day of your big interview… you have woken up early (for goodness sake!!!!) and you have even dug your abandoned iron out of the nether regions of your cupboard to ensure you are looking your most spiffing and just as you are about to reach your car CHHHHHHHHHK-CHK-CHK-CHK-CHK. On come the sprinklers. Drenched.

The worst must surely be when you are sick. It’s not often that one is sick enough to warrant staying at home… and actually needing to sleep, but somehow, some way, the gardeners will ALWAYS know when you do. This is the day they use the worst of all weapons… the weed eater. It is incredible how many weeds seem to grow inches from your room right near your head.

Monday, March 12, 2007

sssssssssssssssssssssssssssss HOT!!!

So Thursday night was the big Cliff Richard concert.

The band took the ladies through to Cape Town in the afternoon and soon after he had dropped them off I got a frantic and only mildly sheepish call from them saying they had forgotten the tickets in Stellenbosch (about a 40min drive).


Anyway, got that sorted and the ladies managed to get in and get decent seats.

Somewhere along the line I got a call from my mom. In the background I heard the cliff saying:
"You know, a journalist has said that I'm not cool..... well that's because I'M HOT!!"

WOW. That's all i can say.

By the end of the weekend full of two aging teenager types gushing about Cliff this and Cliff that I was just about ready to jump off a cliff!

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

If you are wondering where dartanion went, he has been replaced by pugnacious the panda!

Why? BECAUSE I JUST GOT THE MOST AWESOME JOB AT WWF (no, not the wrestling people, the conservation people with the panda logo!)


Monday, March 05, 2007

Yes sirree

As if the stress of the impending house inspection is not enough, I also have to stress about the behaviour of these blood relatives of mine when they are here...

The ladies, you see, are coming to see Cliff Richard doing his thang at Kirstenbosch Gardens.
Devoted fans since their teenage years I can not be certain that they won't do something unforgivable in all the excitement... we have expressly forbidden them throwing any undergarments at the cliffie....
The snide response to our well placed concern was: "Who is your cliffie? It is SIR Cliff Richard to you. Have some respect!"

Saturday, March 03, 2007

D Day is (almost) upon us


Click here to read about the last time my mom visited. Scary, right?

This is scarier.... this time my aunt is coming as well! Let me give you a little context:

My aunt has 3 daughters and a son. The daughters are lovely, neat, dutiful ladies inclined to neat hair, ironed clothes, regular housework and healthy cooking (think steamed veggies).

My mom has 3 sons and a daughter. This daughter is inclined to none of the above. I blame it on my position in the family (bless you Freud for all the justifications you provide!) But really, I grew up playing cricket and waterpolo and tennis and the-moving-target-for-my-brother's-beebee-gun. Tidiness somehow never became a passion.

So before said mother and aunt arrive on wednesday some panic will ensue.

Wish me luck.