Tuesday, December 05, 2006

When the band's away, the jack russels will go TEKERE

So the band is away... not even within cell phone reception.... The house is clean, but the bed is cold.

Quick background (necessary for the story which follows):

The band and I have 2 jack russels - Zac and Zebu (Zac's neice/wife)

I am the wicked stepmother... Zac and I butt heads big time... he actualy thinks the band is his! But i know that the band probably only even named Zac "zac" because subconsciously even waaaaaaaaaaaay back then the band loved me and zac is of course Caz-backwards....

So the band left at 4am on Saturday morning and after the departure I couldn't find Zac. So I went to bed (What!!? It was 4 in the morning). At 9.30 I awoke and still no zac to be found.....uhoh!!!

I searched and searched and called and called and eveeeeeeeeeeeentually found him at the gate of our farm (well... the farm where we stay) still waiting for stef. (Maybe he is more dedicated than me!)

Anyway, I think he was just doing it to show me up, little so-and-so. So since then, now that I am the big cohuna at home, the ultimate authority, what I say goes (etc etc) Zac is like an evil little step son flaunting his rebellion... BRAT. He creeps onto the couch, he got hold of my BRAND NEW sunglasses (luckily the damage was negligable or there would have been castration!!!!) and he was unusually and suspiciously friendly when I was wearing light pants and he had been playing in the mud.

Anyway, last night was the ultimate show down.

One vienna, one vegetarian and 2 dogs

So I broke the offending pseudo meat in half and made them beg like granny's dogs (have they no pride???) and then tossed them each their half.

Zac breathed his in in milliseconds and before Zebu had even registered, (she really is the Jessica Simpson of dogs - pretty, sweet and veeeery spacey) Zac had grabbed hers too!

Well that was it. I lost my cool. It was me or the dog. No more (semi) nice step-dog-mother-type!

"Drop it Zac" I growled at him.

"Nope" he taunted me with his eyes.

So I grabbed his mouth and started to open it. He wasn't giving up without a fight. And as we wrestled, he laughed at me (with those eyes). Until eventually.....VICTORY!!!!!!

His mouth opened, the sausage popped out and Zebu aka Jessica was awarded one times slobbery vienna bit.

"Puleez" I said triumphantly. "I've caught crocodiles with my bare hands do you really think you scare me??"

"You may have won the battle" he growled "but the war aint over til the jack russel howls".

On the subject of all things canine....

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your car (whatever make or model, not fussy), hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.
Call 07898 342547 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....

And on a deeper note:
A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said,

"Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here,
and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough."

1 comment:

SaM-GiRL said...

Hi. thanks for stopping by my blog!