Silicon valley

Well big kudos and many happy returns to those who have happily returned to Blogland (Batchfoo at long last, the Nat and even loserille!!!!) A hearty welcome to you all!

On Friday I had to go into the varsity and I had to ask the computer centre guy a question and so he smiles kindly, understandingly and says "Are you a first year?"

GOSH! HECK!

Needless to say I batted my practically grey eyelids at the pasty white, acne covered computer nerdish young man, sighed and, smiling back kindly, broke it to him that I am, alas, a 7th year.

And for all you awful cynics (rory!) I choose to believe that the reference to my youth was as a result of my running efforts, blonde hair and tan and absolutely nothing to do with my complete lack of IT savvy.

Pirate's keyboard

You'd think I'd be over my corny little pirate joke by now.....

...no such luck

Clenching my teeth

So remember in my previous post i mentioned my jaw was tightening up? Guess who had to geet off to mediclinic last night? Yes, Helourine did - bitten by a black widow. SCARY! But she's alright now. I digress: me too!
The jaw she was a-tightening and the collar bone muscles they were a-tensing and my doctor friend advised me that tetanus is not a thing to be trifled with (mmmm... trifle!)
I had to go for an immunoglobular thingie! It was hectic. My bum is still burning!
Have no fear, fair blog readers... I shall live. But it was a little scary. Lockjaw for goodness sake!!!

Fortieth post - yay me!

Greetings people,

Welcome back to blog world Alet!
Batchfoo where are yooo???
If it weren't for the Meegyn aka Pinky, I would be feeling decidedly neglected.

No matter.

What's news??

I had a fantabulous weekend which included a cruise on a catamaran. We saw sharks and we swam... disturbingly, in that order!!! Thinking back it was a little psycho, but everyone else was doing it......... Never mind, all my limbs remain in tact and it was awesome! So utterly Cape Tonian of us.

PROGRESS REPORT FOR NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS:

RUNNING: Went for run number 4 today. That's one every second day since last week tuesday. Quite proud of myself I must say. Haven't skipped one yet, even though I savaged my foot on a piece of fence and I am certain my jaw is steadily tightening up!

WRITING: Busy with the article for altvoices.org soon. As soon as it's up I'll punt it!

HOME-IFYING THE COTTAGE: Bought such cute paper lantern things for our porch. Beyootiful.

STAY ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE LAW: Went to the traffic peeps to find out about outstanding fines. Only two which came to R300.... ok, there should be another for R800 - but they dropped it. So i have written letters pleading my case.

All in all getting a diary has changed my life.. I am an organised sort now. I feel so self righteous!! haha

peeeee eeeeeeeee argh

What is so difficult about differentiating East London and P.E.??? THEY ARE THREE HOURS APART! It's so constant "Oh so did you go home to PE for Christmas?". "Carolyn comes from PE" NO SHE RUDDY WELL DOES NOT! PE is the UGLIEST CITY ON THE COAST. Industrial scab. awful awful awful.Really, it's right up there with people calling me caroliiiine. WHY?! AAARGH!

Which reminds me.....

How do you know if you're a pirate?

You just AAAAARGH!

Holly dayz

I’m so sorry. Where are my manners!? I didn’t even tell you about my holiday.
Well it was great. Saw some of my journalism mates which was fantastic. Went to plett… first holiday as married types. Quite interesting camping with the inlaws…………….

Anyway……

Also went to East London. Was good.

Much chilling did happen.

LOWLIGHTS of the holiday:

BLUDDY VODACOM BARRED ME TWICE. PSYCHOS! (it's best I don't even start on that again... read here what I am on about

HIGHLIGHTS of the holiday:

Some in my hair, yes.

Saved a life
I have a particular affinity for esio trots. I’m not entirely sure why, but I love them. There was one on the N2 and naturally we stopped and I shotgunned getting to save it. Which I did. We named him A’tuin (pronounced ‘Attain’).

Crikey
I was showing the band some of my favourite places in the whole world – Morgan Bay, Haga Haga etc and on the way back we passed a snake in the road. Naturally we reversed at full speed, hopped out the car and tried to catch it (they can’t move very fast on the tar). As the band tried to grip its tail it reared up and hooded! YEBOYES! It was a cobra. Sssssssssscary but sssssssssssssoo cool!

HALLO PEOPLE OF THE SOUTH!

Happy happy et cetera
WEll I'm baaaa-aaack.
Sorry it's taken so long, but hey, I've been busy.

I am sad to have to tell you all that we are going to have to mourn the passing of DMW caz... for those of you who have no idea what that means, click here.

No more DMWness. Adios to the inevitable bulge. I am a fabulous tanned blonde now (Batchfoo you right - way more fun)

I have entered the 2 Oceans Half again this year and Coach Rich (my athlete dad) has me on a strict training programme. So far I am having 100% success (ok so far there has only been one run and it was all of 2km, BUT STILL!!!)

Tomorrow is 3km... I'm trusting you guys to hold me to it. (And for the hardcore athletes among you who may be scoffing at my seemingly meagre efforts.... sod off!) :)

Anyway, among my other new years resolutions:

• complete the half marathon which is on 7 April (86 sleeps - EEEEEEEK) and stay fit after it

PROGRESS: have entered and gone for one short run.

• get my A into G and get writing properly

PROGRESS: have made contact with the editor of altvoices.org and am busy with an article for them. Also get another travel feature published.

• start making our house a home

PROGRESS: have received nice Christmas presents which are helping this aim and am working on some ideas

• don't get another visit from the sheriff of the court to deliver the warrant for my arrest

PROGRESS: on Friday I visit the traffic department and settle all depts

I'm sure I'll add some more in a while, meanwhile it is up to you, my faithful readership (aka Batchfoo and OOH ALET to hold me accountable!)

Fare thee well, adios amigos

Ho Ho Ho all,

Today is my last day at work (THANK THE LORD!!!) so adios for now, I will post again in the next weeks, but not as regularly, so if I don't see you, have a WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS.

All my lovings
caz

Looking back on 2006

Hi faithful readership...

At this time of year people seem to scramble to set new year's resolutions and goals. Lose weight, get fit, etc etc, but how often do we stop and reflect on all the great blessings of the year that has passed. Even the tough things, in retrospect, were usually for a good reason.

Check out this new blog togodsglory.blogspot.com. People send in their stories about great stuff (big or small) that God's been doing and it gets posted on the blog. I think it is a great idea. Lets support it and make this one work!

I'm sure we can all think of one great blessing at least!

When the band's away, the jack russels will go TEKERE

So the band is away... not even within cell phone reception.... The house is clean, but the bed is cold.

Quick background (necessary for the story which follows):

The band and I have 2 jack russels - Zac and Zebu (Zac's neice/wife)

I am the wicked stepmother... Zac and I butt heads big time... he actualy thinks the band is his! But i know that the band probably only even named Zac "zac" because subconsciously even waaaaaaaaaaaay back then the band loved me and zac is of course Caz-backwards....

So the band left at 4am on Saturday morning and after the departure I couldn't find Zac. So I went to bed (What!!? It was 4 in the morning). At 9.30 I awoke and still no zac to be found.....uhoh!!!

I searched and searched and called and called and eveeeeeeeeeeeentually found him at the gate of our farm (well... the farm where we stay) still waiting for stef. (Maybe he is more dedicated than me!)

Anyway, I think he was just doing it to show me up, little so-and-so. So since then, now that I am the big cohuna at home, the ultimate authority, what I say goes (etc etc) Zac is like an evil little step son flaunting his rebellion... BRAT. He creeps onto the couch, he got hold of my BRAND NEW sunglasses (luckily the damage was negligable or there would have been castration!!!!) and he was unusually and suspiciously friendly when I was wearing light pants and he had been playing in the mud.

Anyway, last night was the ultimate show down.

One vienna, one vegetarian and 2 dogs

So I broke the offending pseudo meat in half and made them beg like granny's dogs (have they no pride???) and then tossed them each their half.

Zac breathed his in in milliseconds and before Zebu had even registered, (she really is the Jessica Simpson of dogs - pretty, sweet and veeeery spacey) Zac had grabbed hers too!

Well that was it. I lost my cool. It was me or the dog. No more (semi) nice step-dog-mother-type!

"Drop it Zac" I growled at him.

"Nope" he taunted me with his eyes.

So I grabbed his mouth and started to open it. He wasn't giving up without a fight. And as we wrestled, he laughed at me (with those eyes). Until eventually.....VICTORY!!!!!!

His mouth opened, the sausage popped out and Zebu aka Jessica was awarded one times slobbery vienna bit.

"Puleez" I said triumphantly. "I've caught crocodiles with my bare hands do you really think you scare me??"

"You may have won the battle" he growled "but the war aint over til the jack russel howls".

On the subject of all things canine....

SINGLE BLACK FEMALE seeks male companionship, ethnicity unimportant. I'm a very good girl who LOVES to play. I love long walks in the woods, riding in your car (whatever make or model, not fussy), hunting, camping and fishing trips, cozy winter nights lying by the fire. Candlelight dinners will have me eating out of your hand. I'll be at the front door when you get home from work, wearing only what nature gave me.
Call 07898 342547 and ask for Daisy, I'll be waiting....

And on a deeper note:
A sick man turned to his doctor, as he was preparing to leave the examination room and said,

"Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side."

Very quietly, the doctor said, "I don't know."

"You don't know? You, a Christian man, do not know what is on the other side?"

The doctor was holding the handle of the door; on the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, and as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room and leaped on him with an eager show of gladness.

Turning to the patient, the doctor said, "Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here,
and when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, but I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough."

And what's up with their stupid beer boep rodent meerkat thing?

Now in a prior post I made a fleeting reference to grey hairs... I reeeeally didn't want to have to elaborate on this, but regrettably i have been left with no choice.

I recently discovered several silvery bits in my head. I discovered them on Friday night... mere minutes after receiving an unpleasant sms from my bank.... coincidence? I think not people!

Dang Vodacom. Dang them to an eternity of being put on hold and listening to BACKSTREET BOYS call waiting music. "I don't care whhhhooooo you are, don't care where you're from, don't care what yoooo did as long as you love me"

Of course the more discerning individual will have picked up that in the chorus of that song (which plays on repeat) Vodacom customer "care" yodles on that they in fact DON'T no less than 3 times! SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING PEOPLE!

Of course, in my case the chorus could be altered to something alone the lines of:
"I don't care that we stuffed up your banking details,
I don't care that we added bogus charges amounting to over 6 grand to your account,
I don't care that you expressly forbade us to debit your bank account with this ludicrous figure,
We'll do whatever we dangwell please anyway, yeah yeah yeah-haaaaaaaaahaaaaaaaaa"

Vodacom - Keeping you in touch! (with your bank manager? with your therapist???)

bah humbug

I hate this time of year. I really do.

Don't give me that incredulous look! I have my reasons....

It all goes back to my childhood when my Father used to make us erect an aluminum pole in the lounge and we'd all sit around listing all the ways that the rest of the family had disappointed us during that year. While all the other kids celebrated Christmas or Hannukah, our family celebrated "Festivus - a festival for the rest of us."

Ok, actually none of that is true. That was George Costanza's childhood, not mine.

My reason for intensely disliking this time of year is far simpler and far more current... It should be noted that last year and every year preceding that one, I loved this time of year.

What has changed, you may ask? To which I may retort: What hasn't?

Last year this time I would be beeeeeeroooooooooooooonze! None of this translucent look which I am currently sporting. I would have aquired the aforementioned hue by spending the past few weeks lazily shmultzing (there really is no other word for it) around the pool. In fact, quite possibly by now I would have been moaning (most self-indulgently in the way that only students can pull off) about how booooooooooo-hooooooooooooooored I am. About how there's nooooothing to doooowoooo. My dad would have been sternly warning me that "these are the best years of your life" and pleading with me not to say I'm bored.

Now I understand.

That's the first true sign of aging. Not the stray grey or the declining need for a social life which last pasts 12, but the point where you truly start appreciating your parents wisdom. Whip out the oil of olay, people, I'm-a gettin old!

So glad I'm not a carnivore....

People, I have nothing to say

Now I know men the world over are ululating in shocked glee that a woman could be out of words. But it is true.

it's that time of the month... er... i mean year, you see.

On the note of these kinds of matters, I have some quotes to share....

"When a woman becomes a scholar there is usually something wrong with her sexual organs." Friedrich Nietzsche (Nazi Shmuck)

"Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote." Grover Cleveland, Former US President (1905) hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

"Nature intended women to be our slaves. They are our property."Napolean Bonaparte (and that's why they shipped him off to an island)

"Women are nothing but machines for producing children." Napolean Bonaparte. (nope... THAT'S why!)

"Wild horses couldn't drag a secret out of most women. However, women seldom have lunch with wild horses." Ivern Boyett

"Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man." Erica Jong.

"She looked as if she'd been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say when." PG Wodehouse. (Personal favourite - hehe)

And for my FAVOURITE FAVOURITE.... (this balances it somewhat ladies...)

"Men can read maps better than women. Cause only the male mind could conceive of one inch equalling a hundred miles." Rosanne Barr

Tough crowd!!!

In the words of Glyn (one N) Hog (one G) (Congrats glyn... you FINALLY get a mention!!!) "There's no encouragement".

I need some comments here people. Nikki... your attempt at leaving a comment was a dismal failure. Ask Cher to show you.

An Inconveniant Truth

So I have realised something quite perturbing. My Band is going to be one of those dads. Really.

Since my car has not been performing at her optimimal best, Stef has been dropping me at work in the mornings. Which would be fine, except that I work in a posh little office park. Which would be fine, except that as he drives off he insists on HOOTING! (*cringe*).
Which wouldn't be ssoooooooooooooooooooo awful, except that his hooter sounds not unlike a pre-pubescent boys voice; "bebeep baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarp!"

(SO EMBARASSING!!!!) All the corporates stick their well groomed heads out of their tinted office windows to stare me down as I try to scuttle into the building with a smidgen of dignity in tact.

Since I have begged and pleaded and threatened him to stop, he now occassionally doesn't hoot, instead he makes a big show of wheel spinning as he drives off.

MY POOR FUTURE SPAWN! (No, cherilyn, I AM NOT BROODY!!!) BUT!! I do fear for the mental health of my future kids when their daddy insists on going in to teenage parties to fetch them in his old faithful track suit pants (think the brother's grey tracks in The Family Stone)... or when he drives riiiight up to the door to drop them off with his oldies music blaring.... or when he takes thousands of photos from every angle of the kids on their first dates.

Ya. It's going to be bad.

What is the most embarassing thing your folks have done to you????

For Batchfoo:

Ching chong cha

Check out these boobees!

Scotland - where the thistles grow tall and the men wear skirts

OK so i know I'm a sucky blogger, but what can you do.

I am no longer a BM2B. The wedding 2 weeks ago was lovely thank you, the dress was girly, but it worked. I went to my sis in law's wedding thie weekend in the Burg of Jo and my man had to wear a kilt which as you can imagine i took great delight in. Sadly tradition states that men only go commando under a kilt when there is a king on the throne. Oh how I hoped all of last week that the queen would be ushered peacefully to her rest. Spared from the strain of public life, regally lead through the big pearly gates at last, ...But to no avail.

It seems, however, that a false rumour of the queen's passing must have circulated among the best men sometime later during the reception......