"rage, rage against the dying of the light"

Ok, so I guess I should admit that I have in fact walked down the aisle before. I am, you see, a newly wed. But as any newly wed woman will admit, one of our greatest fears is that we have been tragicly transformed from young, ravishing singleton, to our brief moment in the lime light as beautiful blushing bride, to dowdy married woman.

Dowdy married women have practical hairdos (worse than that; they use the term "hairdo"!!) They have a tendency to discuss the merits of cleaning products with anyone who cares to listen. They get excited about things like new curtains and being up to date with the wash cycle. No one wants to be dowdy married woman. Some DMW may argue that the regression is inevitable... As for me, I will take the advice of Dylan Thomas and "rage, rage, against the dying of the light" and refuse "to go gentle into that good night".

In protest of DMWness, I have refused to cut my hair. (Except two weekends ago when I was suffering a particularly venomous form of that-time-of-the-month-induced meloncholy. I was inspired by Susannah - Julia Ormond - in Legends of the Fall, just minus the flowing dress and the pretty dressing table. I sat staring meaningfully at my reflection in the mirror, eyes shimmering with unshed tears, grabbed my hair and cut it. Sure it was a little melodramatic, but it was immensely satisfying. Unlike our friend Susannah, I wasn't about to top myself and hence I maintained the good sense to refrain from doing any real damage. In fact I only cut off about 5cm and even worked in some very nice looking layers.)

In addition I really do make a real effort to hide my excitement about the innovative cleaning products on the market... (I won't mention the great dishwashing sponge I found which clips to a handle so that you don't even need to wet your hands and, wait for it... the handle holds dishwashing liquid which it dispenses as you use it.... I WON'T! I WON'T)

In my defence; the wash cycle is weeks behind (clothing pyramids look quite artistic on the spare room carpet) and I find curtains far from thrilling.

More on the things which qualify you as a DMW coming soon.............