It's my blog and I'll vent if I want to

Ok well at least I'm not a puddle. Actually, I'm more p'd off than anything else.It annoys me (esp when I'm riddled with flu) to be told that u can only get sick if 
your mind is not in the right place. Shoh. I guess that makes Stephen Hawking prettydumb then!? Ugh. 

Anyway, that's all fine, illogical (what with microbiology and all, but whatever). 
What really gets me is that belief that if something bad happens to you it is 
because there is a lesson for you to learn. If the same thing keeps happening to 
you it is because you are not learning your lesson. 

Can I just put it out there what my thoughts are when hearing something like this? 
Ok I will

What self righteous, short sighted crap. How quickly such a belief would change 
should you yourself ever face true sorrow. 

I wonder what lesson, then, I had to learn by losing my daughter. Or does this belief indicate that Sophia had a lesson to learn? I wonder what lesson would so flippantly be ascribed to those suffering the horror of multiple miscarriages 
or the heart wrenching pain of infertility. What of those who simply can not 
overcome cancer? 

It's just such a smug view and one that is so easy to hold when life is peachy for 
you and you are healthy, but certainly not one I believe that anyone who has faced 
tragedy could possibly concur with. 

I don't believe there is a simple "here's why it happened" answer. I really dont 
sit too often with the whys. I believe firstly that God never wanted Sophia to die, or for me to suffer. I don't think God is a sadist who sits up there with a 
proverbial magnifying glass frying us like ants to teach us lessons. 

I believe we live in a fallen world where bad things happen. Yes, God is sovereign and He allows them to happen, but I don't believe He delights in them. 
I believe God's heart breaks to see my sorrow. I believe that He uses all 
sorrows though.

I believe that when I get to heaven and am reunited with Sophia I will be
in a place where I will have the grace to bear all the why's. I believe that there may be a million good things that come from sophia's death - that God can use it in many ways in many different lives, but this side of heaven I don't have the grace to know them - until i am with her they could never be enough for me. And sure, among those many reasons the Band and I may have had some lessons to learn, but these lessons, whatever they may be are not the simple and sole reason for my daughter's death.  

That would imply that people who live through hard lives do so because they have lessons to learn. well what of those real shmucks who have a smooth time of it? I guess they need to be reincarnated to learn their lessons.

And anyway, what's the point of all these supposed lessons? Greater consciousness or some such thing? If it's about lessons and God simply punishes us until we get it right than He should have just created us enlightened and saved He and us both the trouble. No, I believe that God created us for relationship with Him. We live in a fallen world and He never promised us a smooth ride, but He did promise to never leave us or forsake us. He does promise us hope and a future. He is a loving God.