Friday, December 11, 2009

2.5 kids and a white picket fence

The Band and I still obviously want to have kids. Ah. I say that so calmly and rationally, actually, like those of you who've lost a child will know all to well, I am desperate to hold my own baby. I may avoid other babies like the plague, but to hold my own baby... I dream of that.

Everyone seems to have an opinion on the matter.

Plett Gynae said wait 3 months for your body to heal and 9 months for your heart to heal.
Antenatal Class Teacher said give it time, but not too much.
Shrink Lady (she of the no-lying-on-the-chaise-lounge!) said "I hope you aren't putting it off now!
And New Gynae (replacement of Unpopular Previous Gynae) suggested that physically I am healthy so we should just live and let live.

So who do you listen to? Considering that not one of these women have experienced this themselves... Well, you listen to yourself of course! :) In other words you choose the opinions you like and ignore those you don't. So instead of waiting to officially start trying at some distant point (and all the pressure that goes with that) in theory we are going with option D "live and let live". I say in theory because I have never been so conscious of my own cycle before.

8 comments:

livingintherainbow said...

There are only two opinions that matter - yours and your husbands. Others only inform.

Live and let live!

quartercenturycrisis said...

This is something that you and the Band (especially you) will know when the time is right. Even if the people who are giving their opinion have been through the same thing, there's still no textbook that says exactly how you will feel. Any loss is subjective. I say go with the flow and what will be will be, when it should be!

kooky said...

Hi Caz. It's a difficult one that only YOU can decide on. My gynae also said to wait three months , but then I'm now on anti -depressants which you might not be.I also say : what's meant to be will be .

Simply-Mel said...

ditto LivinginTheRainbow....

Joanne said...

ditto above too.

Mel said...

Tertia's twins were born 3 days after the anniversary of her son's death so in theory, she was pregnant 3 months later. Wise or not I don't know but that compulsion to hold a child in her arms wouldn't let her rest for a second.
I think your approach is wise coupled with some prayer for God to pick the perfect time. xxx

Bruce said...

Speaking as someone who has absolutely no experience in this areana at all, I believe that most couples have problems with this because they 'over think' it. Just do it. Nature will takes it course. The worst thing to do is to get gun shy by thinking about it to much. Once you are healed up.....GO.

Yaya said...

Yes, you know your body and yourself better than anyone, even a dr.