Monday, September 21, 2009

Coping mechanisms

So how do you get out of bed in the morning when life has changed forever?
After a time the SMSs have slowed down, the flower arrangements start dying, people start talking to you about other things, and life around you carries on.

But for you, every morning you wake up to the exact same sickening dread that you felt the day before. People keeping saying each day will be a little bit easier. It's not like that. Healing is not a linear process. Some days are better, but then some days are as bad or even worse than the day it all started. Saturday was like that. Yesterday was fine. This morning was bad again.

My tips for coping with the aftermath of tragedy:
1. Get addicted to a nice series or book or something. The Band and I are into One Tree Hill. It's like this time when you don't have to think about anything but the dramas on screen. Escapism is a wonderful thing. Unfortunately we are on season 6 so we are about to run out. Dam.
2. Get a ridiculously adorable kitten. Thanks to Tamara for letting me know about the township pet rescue organisation (who knew kittens were so scarce!?) Through them the Band and I have adopted The Governer (aka Guv).

He is really beautiful and playful and naughty and although the Freudian link between losing your baby and suddenly getting a little baby kitten to nurture is not hard to figure out, he has been a wonderful distraction. Something so sweet and innocent (well, innocent when he's not mauling my hand) gets you out of yourself to some extent. To wake up to this little thing staring at you about 2 cm from your face and purring like a freight train at least puts a smile on your face.

Anyway, we are off to the Brass Bell in Kalk Bay for lunch and then to movies. The Band is trying to give me reasons to get out of my pyjamas I suspect.


totally cooked said...

feel free to go in your PJ's anytime you like ;)

Being Brazen said...

CUTE kitty!!!

Enjoy the Brass Bell.

Ruby said...

that kitten is absolutely adorable! And i'm glad you have something to distract you, it's good:) Still praying for you so much!

Leebeesa said...

He is a stunning little fluffer, I love animals to the point of being a manical animal rights activist,(I annoy people around me, sorry all I am passionate about my cause) I have really found that they help so much with healing they are so unconditional and really have no expectations of you. If I had the place to keep them I would be a crazy cat, dog, fish, bird, horse, pig, sheep, cow, tigger, hippo just all round general animal lady. I am continuing to read here as I said previously I know I am a stranger but if I can be of help anyway let me know... Leeza

acidicice said...

Awwwww. I have a bootiful cat. I hope The Governer will bring you as many melt-your-heart moments and curl up about you when you're watching TV or sleeping. Sometimes it's that little bit of love you need.

S. said...

the guv is so cute! what a nice little distraction. when you are done with one tree hill I recommend gossip girl or americas next top model. lots of drama and sassiness. a true guilty pleasure in this household.

Bruce said...

Cute little bugger...that is for sure.

Joanne said...

We are all still thinking of you all the time Caz and you sound a little on the up whether you feel it or not, give it time! That kitty is too precious, and you said it, you have smiled because of it, xoxo

Anonymous said...

Ah The Guv is so beautiful!

Coping mechanisms are basically whatever makes YOU feel better, even if it is just for 5 minutes. It's ok if you feel like staying in your pyjamas all day. Remember my Wrapped In Cotton Wool list? That's what my counsellor suggested to me - think of things that make you feel wrapped in cotton wool. She said it's all about doing what YOU need, not what everyone else thinks you need. Although most people's suggestions come from a good place and only out of concern, at the end of the day only you know yourself best.

Tamara said...

Oh, The Guv is gorgeous! So glad you got such an adorable furbaby.

your coping mechanisms all sound very healthy. Biggest hugs to you.