As Ben Franklin said :

In wine there is wisdom,
in beer there is freedom,
in water there is bacteria.
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. Coli) - bacteria found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember : Water = Poop Wine = Health

Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk kak, than to drink water and be full of kak.

Sunday visit

So look who decided to recline mere metres from my front door on Sunday afternoon....





he was one beeeeg puffy!!!!!!!!

Are you loooooonesome toniiiiiight

So the band is away for a few days. And it is POURING with rain here in the Cape. I have resigned myself to the fact that a spider encounter in his absence is practically inevitable. Wish me luck people. I'm working on my bravery!

My laundry / dressing room and my kitchen are flooding nicely. There is no exaggeration here... they really are. As we speak.

It seems our thatch needs replacing, you see. So in a couple of weeks we will be moving out while they give us an entire new roof. I have chosen to be positive about this... new thatch SURELY means less spiders. Right?

Anyway, quite cool - we've been making these new ads for this huge campaign that I've been working my bum off on. Look out for them on tv in June and in the mags from now... be the hero is the strapline.

sorry so blegh, not much to say!

The saga continues

I went to sleep last night not feeling too happy – my back and bum and legs were achy and sore. But went to sleep and thought it would get better. At 4 frikken AM I woke up in agony. The aforementioned parts were cramping like crazy. There could be one of three reasons for this: 1) I am 26 now and aging fast, 2) I am on a bit of a detox and haven’t really had salt this week and 3) our bed is from hell.

Anyway, I got up to make myself a hot water bottle, have some salt (in the form of a big fingerful of peanut butter) and the band suggested we move to the spare room – maybe I’d have better luck there. So while the kettle was boiling I (obviously) performed a thorough spider inspection of the room and all was well. Got sorted with the hot water bottle and went back into spare room with the band.

THERE, SCUTTLING DOWN THE WALL, WAS A MASSIVE “RAIN” SPIDER. Being the fearless, hitchhiking, crocodile catching conservationist that the band knows and loves, I SCREAMED, leapt into his* arms and began sobbing. Real smooth. In my defence, somewhere amid my incoherent wracking sobs I’m sure I heard myself mumble something along the lines of “It’s not fair. It’s 4 in the morning and all I ask for is some sleep.”

And so you see, it wasn’t fear that made me cry. It was the bloody injustice and sneakiness of it all. I mean seriously. I CHECKED for spiders and the little bugger was obviously hiding camouflaged on one of the beams. Do you know what this means?? I now have to step my spider inspections up a notch! Gonna have to use a freakin spotlight so they can’t hide in the shadows.

What really gets me is their timing. Most insects and spiders are fairly random, just going about their business, not trying to upset anyone. But the rain spiders that inhabit my living space are down right MALEVOLENT. Think about it: They always manage to catch me when I’m most vulnerable – the band is usually not around, I am usually starkers or else they are right in my comfort zone. Pure evil.

*(For those of you who are wondering, no of course he didn’t kill it, that would be optimistic. He bottled it and is releasing it at his work this morning... No comment)

If you were around in 1919

and came upon the following poster.........

I mean seriously.... Would you quit drinking???

Sorry I've been scarce!

But work is insane at the moment. Check out the WWF ad below - I l0ve it! haha

"15km2 of rainforest disappears every minute"

Genie meme

Seeing as I should be preparing for my big meeting, I see no better time than now to do a meme that I wasn't even tagged to do. (procrastination and digressing - they're my things!)

So the meme is from Sweets' blog and basically you have to answer the following:

If a Genie arrived one day and told you:

"You have 3 wishes..use them wisely."

What would you wish for?

Well duh! I'd obviously wish for more wishes!!! (I didn't see any fine print on this!)
Ok, now you do it, but no stealing of my idea!!

About what?

Glad you care to ask.

Got a beeeeg meeting this afternoon. Chairing this new committee at our work to make our offices and travel a bit more sustainable and seeing as we are a frikken conservation organisation it's about dam time we do! Anyway all the big wigs are on this committee and I am in charge. Pretty daunting, but also a nice opportunity. Wish me luck and think of me at 3pm...

So I'm FREAKING OUT

I just am ok??!

Happy birthday to meeeee

So anyway, thanks again to all the wonderful citizens of blogville who somehow amazingly remembered my birthday. I suck with birthdays (would probably 4get my mom's if it wasn't the same as mine), so I'm not quite sure how you did it... i wasn't THAT blatant was i?

Anyway, I wanted to tell you a little bit about it.

Ok so on my birthday eve I dutifully baked a choc cake and a lemon meringue for tea at work the next day. I am a founding member of CLASS (cake lovers appreciation society) at work so I could hardly NOT bake. The thing is I don't actually have a proper oven so I spent the evening running back and forth to my neighbours. Chaos and a huge mission. Was a horrible night with burnt cake, a fight with the shmoo and me falling in a ditch in the garden on our way out. I sat there in the mud after 3 hours of baking and shower and I started to cry. I really never will make a very convincing house wife. The band was at a complete loss. Sure my knee was spouting blood like I'd hit an artery, but that wasn't the reason for the tears. The tears were borne of pure frustration and a little fear of my impending 26th birthday. I mean 26 people!! 25 = charming mid-twenties. But some might call 26 heading to your late twenties. EEK. Any I wailed to the band that the only thing likely to save me now was a stiff G&T which he faithfully produced to mud-caked me out Bohemia. (Yes, the venue of the infamous Stellenbosch police raids - I like to live on the edge - even in my old age).

Anyway, following the Worst Night Ever, I awoke on my birthday to the Best Day Ever. Really!! The band brought me croissants and coffee in bed and then presented all my millions of presents one by one. There were some from his and my family and plenty from him. They included about 5 pairs of earrings which he had made me. A collection of Roald Dahl short stories to inspire me to write my book. A few cheques. And a curious number of scarfs. (scarves?)

Then I got to work and got spoilt some more. Everyone loved the lopsided cake - i had scraped off all the burnt bits - or at least they did a convincing portrayal of people who loved the cake.

I only had to work 1/2 day on my bday so then I went home to prepare for my party that night in Cape Town.

IT WAS FANTASTIC.

Me and my cuzziiiiiiin