IS IT JUST ME??

Or are all gardeners sadists. Now I trust the non south African readership will bear with me on this one…

In South Africa it is fairly common to employ a gardener or a gardening service.

In my opinion gardeners – though seemingly benign and in touch with nature, are, in fact, the ultimate sadists.

Why? you ask, bewildered. Well have you ever decided that you deserve to sleep in and skip class? (just this once of course!) Well GUARANTEED that will be the day that the gardening service decides to mow the extensive lawns…. You know the ones RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW.

Or else, it’s the day of your big interview… you have woken up early (for goodness sake!!!!) and you have even dug your abandoned iron out of the nether regions of your cupboard to ensure you are looking your most spiffing and just as you are about to reach your car CHHHHHHHHHK-CHK-CHK-CHK-CHK. On come the sprinklers. Drenched.

The worst must surely be when you are sick. It’s not often that one is sick enough to warrant staying at home… and actually needing to sleep, but somehow, some way, the gardeners will ALWAYS know when you do. This is the day they use the worst of all weapons… the weed eater. It is incredible how many weeds seem to grow inches from your room right near your head.