I've got to get out of this place

So from whence do I blog? From Vilanculos? From Komatipoort perhaps? No? At least from Joburg. Surely! Nope…from my bluddy lounge!

Why... Why am i not well on my way to Mozambique?
why am i still here
instead of here



or more specifically here...
coz here it looks like this:

oooh brace yourselves... it's not a pretty story.

I was just about home yesterday all ready to leave when i got a call from Harry... the guy who lives in our flat.

He got home and couldn't find Zac (the male dog). Zebu (his wife/neice) was going crazy at the wall. Harry looked below the wall into the neightbours place (their property is lower than ours) and saw zac lying there in the sand covered in blood.

He jumped over and fetched him then the neighbours pitched up. It seems Zac had fallen into their garden and their 5 SIFF DOGS had mauled him... remember this post? Same dogs.

So Harry asks them how long ago it happened. They said about an hour. "So why didn't you let us know?" Harry asks.

"Why you getting so agressive?" they reply "maybe next time we'll take him to the vet so he can finish the job off properly."

Ok.... (breath, breath, breath). Those #$%^&*(#$%^&*()#%$^&*() fill in your own decriptives... seriously, what kind of sick sick people would leave a small dog in the sand to bleed to death??? If harry hadn't noticed he was missing that is exactly what could have happened!

We have never even MET these people so it's not like they could have an issue with us! They are obviously just evil awful people who should not be allowed to own dogs.

So we took Zac to the vet and he got a bunch of injections and stitches and stuff. The vet said it was very unusual that the majority of his bites are in the front. (Ha! That's our boy... he faced those 5 mutts head on!)

So today Zac is a lot better. Up and walking around. Chipper - probably stoned from all the medication. We will leave in about 20 minutes, so adios amigos. I will miss you all. My SMS roaming number is +27 82 929 0348.... send me love!

PS. Do you think zac's nightmare was a premonition of the fight??

PSS. What steps do you think we can take against the neighbours on our return?
A lawyer's letter from a mate to scare them - in terms of them threatening our dog?
TP their house?

Invite them to dinner and kill them with kindness?

All suggestions are welcome. I can not bare people who are cruel to animals...

Merry Christmas from Caz and her Band

Click here to see how we plan to see in the new year somewhere in the bundus!!!!

Nightmare on Abelia street

So it's no more sleeps... tonight we leave for our Big Trip. AT LONG BLUDDY LAST!
So this is how it's going down...

The characters:

• The Band (the hot one)
  
• The Caz (the supposed damsel in distress who is actually the hero of the story)
  
• The Joshwaaaa (AKA The Oracle. their faithful friend of old, best man at the wedding, part of every major adventure they've ever had, and in fact, the one who introduced The Band to The Caz)
  
• The Harry (the youngest and newest to the group – AKA replacement Josh. While Josh lives in JHB, Harry lives in their flat. He's become part of the family and The Band and The Caz keep tabs on him ensuring that he is home within his curfew and gets a decent meal every once in a while)

The plot:
A couple of weeks ago our characters buy a Toyota Hilux aka The BOOSTER (bought at a steal on auction - bless this financial crisis) and pimp it up. Much planning and packing and purchasing and borrowing ensues while our heroine organizes 2 weeks free camping on Bazaruto island (all in a day’s work!) and bakes rusks and crunchies in her spare time.

4 weeks will be spent driving, eating, sleeping, dhowing, snorkeling, beach batting, exploring, birding, bribing, swimming, reading, pokering, backgammoning and white water rafting. Firstly we go to the tropical paradise of Bazaruto – gorgeous island off Mozambique. Then it’s off to Mana Pools – the wildest park in Africa. No fences around camps. Unaccompanied walking permitted. After that possibly Lake Kariba or possibly not and then…VIC FALLS. We’ll white water raft and should be able to spend a night or 2 in the 5 star Matetsi Lodge through Josh.

Where are we now:
The chalk board countdown is over and it’s no sleeps til we leave. This evening we drive through to JHB. Sunday morning we leave for Vilanculos in Mozambique. On Monday we take a dhow over to Bazaruto….

The house is chaos. The car is ready. The packing will be done tonight. The audio books have been taken out the library (I really am that dorky!). Music is being burned to CDs. Tensions are high all around.

The Fine Print
Our plans are not set in stone. We are all pretty chilled and will play things by ear. If things really go bad in Zim we’d have to make a call on whether it is still wise to go that route. We could do both Mana Pools and Vic Falls from the Zambia side if needs be.

The Muttlies
Shame, I haven't blogged about my stepdogs in a long time and actually a delicate truce has occurred. See when I got into my gardening phase I realised that the Zac (also known as the Caz-backwards) and the Zebu can be useful allies - I was trying to dig up grass for a veggie patch and it was exhaaaaausting. Then I invited the pooches with an encouraging "dig!dig!" and pointed where I needed digging and in about 5 mins I had a gorgeous patch of ground. Cheap labour, you got to love it!

Well needless to say, with all the packing going on the pooches are getting mightily depressed. They KNOW! Shame. Last night at about 3am we were woken to the most spine chilling mournful howling. "Arrooooooooooorooooowoooooooooooooooooo". Had Zac been bitten by a snake? We went to look for him and called and called and he didn't come. Eventually the Band found him still fast asleep and in the throes of a terrible nightmare. I suspect he dreamt that we were going away for a month....

Shame!

he (also) finally did it....

The Band himself posted his very first comment on my blog and there is even talk about him doing a guest post, he enjoyed it so much.

(The difference between guys and girls is that if i was reading the 10 things that the Band finds most annoying about me i'd probably leave miffed. Not The Band. He cackled evilly and no doubt made some internal vows to step up the efforts in the annoying the Caz department!)

Slyde and Glugs even got special mentions from him! fame indeed.
Go check his comment on this post, pay no heed to his insiduous lies and allegations though...

Oh and pleeeeeeeeeeeez all comment - it will make his day.

he finally did it...

The 11th commandment:

Thou shalt have sexy times for 7 days.

Have you guys heard about this? This pastor has challenged the marrieds in his church to have sex every day for a week. Well I say Halleluia! Preach it brother!!! :)

The low down on the Band

The answers to your questions about my husBand (please note all the linking and bolding and effort so you can forgive me for taking so long!) BTW I really thought you lot would come up with saucier questions.. i don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed!

From Being Brazen (by the way congrats on the 200th post!! I'm 9 posts away!):

"How did you meet the Band?"

We were in class together. We studied conservation. When we did meet through a friend we were sitting outside and a "bergie" (the Cape Town word for homeless person - berg = mountain in Afrikaans) was quite taken with me. the Band tried to SELL ME to him. mm. Needless to say we never liked each other. Not through all the disections practicals where I'd get home and find an eye (or worse) in my bag. Not when he made me cry by claiming his grandad was a nazi who had a gas chamber in his house. Not with his looong hair. Not when I found out that he was crashing my party ie going to work on this crocodile conservation project in the Okavango delta at the same time as me. But when we there it all changed........

From Bruce:

"What type of music does the Band play?"

The Band is honestly not very musical... but he does have rhythm ;)

From Slyde:

"How long has the Band been together?"

Well Slyde, I mean I guess I could ask his mom the conception details, but I'd rather not so I'll have to wing it and say since approx 9 months before his birthday... which makes it since January 1981.

And as for us? Since March 2003...

From Tamara:

"What does the Band do?"

He works for our church full time. He's not a pastor, he does things like organising art exhibitions and doing a website and managing a bunch of staff. Probably the nicest thing about his job is that he gets to do nice and stuff and it counts as work. So if some little old lady asks him to help her tune in her tv he could go do that in work hours and it would be legit.

"What made you fall for him?"

ooooh. now we're getting personal. Ok fine. I had been badly hurt in the past. The Band liked me for a long time and I was not interested. But we were best friends and I loved the way he was to me. So consistently caring. Actually not only to me (but especially to me!) he is one of the kindest and most generous people i know. Not a push over. Not a sap. Knows who he is and what he wants but cares about people. He pretty much refused to give up on me.

"What does he do that drives you nuts?"

This is a bad time to ask because A) I'm sitting here munching on cashews and B) he has been away in Durbs since Friday and I am at that point when someone has been away so long (hey, 3 sleeps is long!!) that they seem flawless and perfect.

I guess something which MURDERS me is that when he cooks he leaves everything open and out and creates CHAOS in the kitchen. When I cook, I clean and pack away and wash as I go so that by the time the meal is served the kitchen is more or less clean.

"Does he read your blog?"

Nope! But I often tell him about you guys.

From Gill:

"Does he comment on your blog?"

Nope :)

"What's the age difference between you?"

He is 7 months older than me, but born in different years.

From EXMI:

"What are his 10 best and 10 most annoying features?"

Now are we talking physical or not?
hmmm ok, i'll just wing it.

10 best:

• SUCH A GREAT BUM


• Great legs


• Gorgeous mouth


• Beautiful eyes


• Great... oh, that's not appropriate :)


• He has a sense of humour which is actually kookier than mine and so we share this connection that only we really get.


• He's an adventurer. We have done some incredible things together - hitchhiking through Botwana, hiking the wild coast, etc and in 11 sleeps we'll be on our way to Bazaruto!


• He's so different with me than with anyone else. I love that.


• He's very competitive as am i and i dig it. We get quite snotty with each other over stuff. We had The Backgammon Challenge going for months and months. The first to win 50 games got to decide how we spent our holiday this year. It got soooo intense, I think he may have actually chucked a chair or something when I finally won in Addo Elephant Park last year. HAHAHA That furious reaction MADE MY DAY. Nothing more satisfying than beating a sore loser!
  
• He holds me tight. We spoon and when my alarm goes off at 5.20 (Bootcamp, people!) I start to get up and in his sleep he pulls me back and holds me tighter.
  
• He often buys me gifts. But not just random bunches of roses, he gets creative. He'll go to a second hand book store and dig out an autographed copy of a book by one of my favourite authors. He'll buy me 50 bucks worth of cashew nuts coz he knows i love them. Stuff like that.

10 worst:

• He always forgets to indicate.
• He smses while driving.
• He borrows my car and returns it to me empty.
• He is not opposed to leaving random stuff all over the house and garden.
• He refers to the mutts as my son and daughter. That REALLY gets me.
• He can get a phrase in his head and repeat it ALL DAY - driving 14 hours to Joburg next week could be baaaaaaaad.
• I know, I know, sorry, but it's true and it bugs me: he leaves the toilet seat up.
• He is not very... um... thorough when he washes the dishes. They are ussually still covered in gunk so I just end up rewashing.
• He refuses to cut his hair regularly and ends up with crazy Kramer hair.
  

"how did the proposal go down??"

Phew... that's a long answer but i will give the quick version. We randomly (or so i thought) decided to just drive and see where the road took us (it was a public holiday the next day). Eventually snuck into a nature reserve on the West Coast at about 2am. Slept there in the car on a mattress. The next morning we went for a walk on this utterly pristine beach. No one and nothing there. Had a picnic under this huge rainbow. As we walked back he kept pointing out little shells and stuff in the sand. Eventually i noticed a little bag. I asked him what it was. He didn't know. Asked if i knew. I didn't know. Opened it and inside was a box, in that was a ring. Then he proposed.

"what's the worst he's done to piss you off?"

He arrived home from Joburg with a mini mutt. He already had the one dog (which I wasn't crazy about) and then he arrived back and "Surprise!" a puppy! I was LIVID. Nearly broke up with him. He offered to get rid of her. I said it was fine. He proposed the next day.

"who has a bigger temper?"

Well he has a far quicker temper than me. It takes a loooooooooooooooooooot to get me angry. When I do get really angry it can take a while to get me out of The Zone. That's probably only happened about 3 times in 8 years we've known each other.

"who's the bigger scaredy cat (between you guys of course)"

Me. Spiders I can not stand. Bats, I am not fond of either. But other than that I'd say we are both pretty hardcore. We have caught crocodiles for goodness sake.

From Glugster:

"Does he have all his toes and fingers?"
Yes, Glugs.

A little behind

is what I'm getting from all this exercise.
waa haa haa
ok actually a little behind is what i clearly am.
But better late than never bla bla bla bla so I am now responding to this request from EXMI.

The LowDown on the Band
*chuckles nervously* well... I mean surely my level of transparency depends on who I know that reads this blog... but what the hell. I'll tell.

Ok, *exhales* what do you want to know?

Perhaps it's better if we do this:
You can ask any question you want about the band and I will post answers to all... Deal?

I'm baaaack :)

It's been a long time (long time) I shouldn'ta left you (left you)

And that is as much rap as I am prepared to type out.

So the countdown to the holidays has begun... 18 sleeps til we leave for paradise.
The band and I are planning a trip of monstrous proportions. First we are going to BAZARUTO where we will camp.
Now from what i understand, the island actually doesn't have a campsite. We are going to be roughing it in a big way - no running water even!! The only reason we can camp there is because i work for who i do. Perks.

Anyway, it's going to be wicked.

Then the plan is to try get to Lake Kariba, Mana Pools and Vic Falls. We are fairly disorganised, but we'll happily go with the flow and decide along the way.

I am soooooooooooo excited. I have been looking forward to an adventure like this all year! YAY!

HAPPY HOLE O WEEN

:)

Meeting the people of BLOGLAND

So anyway, I am sooooooooper keen to meet all the Joburgers among you, but as with business trips in general time is short. I propose we do one of the following:

EITHER:

LUNCH on Wednesday at 13:00 either at the Nelson Mandela Square in Sandton (anyone got a good suggestion for a restaurant) or at my favourite lunch spot in JHB - Tasha's! mmmmm

OR:

A LITTLE SUNDOWNER on Wednesday after work I guess at Nelson Mandela Square (guess who only knows how to find two places in JHB!!!)

Let me know if you guys are keen.

PS YOU MUST CLICK THIS LINK (LOVING THE BARMAN!!!) hahaha
http://1227.com

In and out, in and out

you little sickos... I was referring to BREATHING!!!

So this* is me:

And that is why this post is so short and I am not being a good commenter or replier to comments!

(*MENTAL NOTE: Searching google images for "headless chicken" is not an activity for the faint of heart!)

Ketchup

So scarce, I know. Sorry sorry!
Last week was a good week, I:

• was on the radio twice (fortune and fame, people!) and will be on again tomoro (no I won't say what and when) to discuss the launch of our first of its kind Mobile Carbon Calculator. Been working on this project for aaaages so was cool to get a nice media response to something which i kind of consider to be my baby.
• worked at the Natural and Organics Fair (a bunch of crazy hippies mostly, but entertaining nonetheless)
• took my first day of vacational leave this whole year
• spent that day doing the Crystal Pools hike on the way to Koelbaai. Stunning. Basically you hike up this gorge into the mountains. River flowing furiously. Fynbos blossoming.
• went to my favourite cuban place
• started my veggie garden properly - this morning I saw my first seedling emerge - woohoo!

Yesterday I started a new boot camp and also a bit of a detox. Bikini season looms.

My brother left on Sunday. Sucks. Miss him already. ugh. Why must people go to London. Really! :(

AAAANyway, I may be up in Joburg next week. Anyone keen to meet up? Probably tuesday or wednesday evening??

about frikken time

I am guessing Being Brazen is probably the only one who will share in the excitement of this with me... unless there are some other capies lurking among you?
WELL summer FINALLY decided to make a brief appearance this weekend! I went to the BEACH. I got SUNBURNT to the point of resembling one of those gross red vienna sausages. IT WAS GREAT. Obviously summer disappeared already now, but hey at least we had two days of proper sun at long last!!!

Also, my brother is visiting. YAY!
This is a pic of my gorgeous brother taken while we were doing some mountain biking in the Transkei* last summer. We'll call him Boo. He's currently visiting from the UK. He's lovely, no? Seriously... how is this man still single? It confounds me. Really it does. I adore Boo. He is one of the nicest guys i know and i am loving having him back in SA... even only for a week.

In other news, I am away tonight - this blog comes to you all the way from my hotel room in Caledon**. Feel the love!

Speaking of feeling the love, can you people please click on the little follower button thingie on the right? It took me forever to figure out how to get it there in the first place!! (thanks Tamara and Gill!!!!)

What else to share... emmmmm pfffffft. nope. I got nothing for you! K bye!

* for the foreign ones: The Transkei or Wild Coast is pretty much the most beautiful place on the planet.... I will soon post a story i wrote a while back on hiking the transkei and some pics. It's gorgeous.

** Caledon is a pretty arb dorpie (small town) close to nowhere. It is a very random destination, but hey, hotel = mini shampoos and shower gels and stuff so it's worth it.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE!!

I just discovered the proper way to weigh myself. It seems we've all been doing it wrong all these years!

We must spread the word!

PS. temporary new look...

I am feeling very burdened by all you frikken overachievers who insist on continuously giving your blog a gorgeous makeover. I will get there at some stage i suppose, but it sounds a lot like work.

barking mad

So on Sunday a bunch of us went back to our new favourite place - the cuban joint. Everytime we go there we seem to get free drinks. This time it was some kind of sambuca shot. Why do I tell you this? To contextualise What Happened Next....*

So we return to our place and the neighbours annoying dogs are barking. They are AWFUL things. Something like an overgrown staffie - about 1.5 times the size and with very rabid temperaments. Seriously, if i look over the wall at them, they snarl and drool and growl and bark. Even if i am trying to be nice (aka trying to get them to shut it).

Anyway.. so my mate Max reckons she wants to have a look at these dogs. So we go stand on the wall (our house is set higher than theirs, so we are looking down on the dogs). The dogs come running up to us and, inexplicably (or perhaps not so inexplicably *) Max snarls and barks at the dogs.

--- Retelling the story later she explained that they are demonic dogs and you just HAVE to bark at them. You can't help yourself. It is beyond your control. ---

Anyway, she not only barks at the dogs, but she tells my dogs "Zac, Zebu, I'm on your side here. We're a team" and then returns to her barking.

I see a flicker of movement in the corner of my eye and quickly run behind a bush. I signal to max (well i THINK i did... in my HEAD I did!!) but it's too late. The OWNER of the dogs has come to investigate. She is right upon Max before Max sees her.

WAA HAA HAA Max goes red and very bashful and the woman complains about OUR dogs barking (seriously, at least they bark normally and don't sound demon possessed like hers) and Max meekly explains that she doesn't live here and shuffles off.

I could barely stand up straight. Priceless!!! Imagine finding some woman standing on your wall, growling and barking at your dogs. heee heee hee

Welcome to the hood (Take 2)

Lovely weekend which even included some suntanning! (The sun finally made a brief appearance only to be replaced today AGAIN by the rain) Anyway, did some more gardening and went to our favourite restaurant - the cuban place etc etc blah blah blah

And then....

this morning The Band's car was stolen.

Fortunately for my state of mind it was not stolen from our house.

Here's what happened:

The Band left this morning for the week - he's gone to bloem.

On the way (at like 4.50) he dropped off his car at a friend's house for the friend to use. At like 5.20 the friend went outside and the car was gone.

Anyone seen a white Isuzu double cab lying about?

The bad news is that we purchased the car through vehicle financing so it looks like even after insurance we will still OWE R30K AND not have a car. How rough is that???

Gutted. It feels like you are just crawling out of a hole and you get shoved into a deeper one. I am pretty frikken depressed. There go my plans for FINALLY doing up my lounge and much much much worse.... there go my plans for a WONDERFUL December holiday up to vic falls and mozambique. ("I will not cry, I will not cry, I will not cry")

This is not a sad thing. It is not even a scary thing. It is just an incredibly UNFAIR thing and that makes it so frustrating.

Happy Birthday Phoebe

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!


This is the dog who rules my heart... Phoebe.... It was her birthday on Sunday. If you think it's odd that I phoned her (she's in EL) then you'll find it even more odd that my bro's called her from London. We're not to be mistaken for a normal family, but she is an incredible dog and we love her.

Saving relationships one month at a time!

This is great.... I may have to anonymously and mysteriously add it to the agenda at our next staff meeting!

http://pmsbuddy.com/

WHY I LOVE SA (Inspired by EXMI)

So following on from EXMI's inspirational post and also "inspired??" by a disgusting, racist, awful blog which i will not link to, I hereby start my very own meme. Sorry Slyde and Lotus (and any other foreigners reading this), I know that you'll be gutted, but this is a South African meme... and here is how it works:

• Link back to the original meme (that would be this post) and the meme inspirer (that would be EXMI)
• Link to the person who tagged you
• Give (at least) 5 reasons why you love SA
• Tag at least 5 peeps
• Let me know when you've done it!

Let's get this thing going and get SAns thinking good thoughts about our AWESOME nation!

1. I love the people. WOW. Where to start? I love how when you greet a xhosa person in their language their entire face lights up. I love how afrikaners are so ordentelik - living in Stellenbosch (a place with an UNNATURAL amount of nails in the road) I had plenty plenty plenty punctures over the years and have never had to change a tire. A nice afrikaans boy will ALWAYS appear out of nowhere and change it for me. I love how there is this (sometimes unspoken) comraderie among South Africans. Pretty much all South Africans.
2. I love how SA always manages to shine at our darkest hour. Even the xenophobia attacks were an incredible time of unity for the rest of South Africa. Young, old, black, white, STRANGERS, all came together, rolled up their sleeves and helped.
3. I love our social ways. So many SAns who go overseas stick to being friends with other SAns. That's coz many other cultures don't do the whole "drop in at whim" thing. They are more seperated and detached. We thrive on it.
4. I love that we beat the odds, the stats, the doomsday prophets and proved them all wrong by NOT ending in civil war in '94.
5. I love our language. It's a mix - mostly english but with others peppered in - "yoh!" "eish" "jislaaik" etc. Sometimes english just is not expressive enough all on its own. South African is much better!

Ok now that you have patriotic Jonny Clegg type music swelling in your head, it's your turn.

I tag: Sweets, Glugs (worth a try and it is for a good cause!!), Tamara, Being Brazen, Gill, Charmskool, My so called life, Ruby and in fact ALL WHO READ THIS POST :) I spose I can't reeeeeally tag EXMI seeing as she has pretty much already done it, BUT I can blame this meme on her :)