It's not fair

That I blog only when I really need to these days.

It's not fair because so many of you, Dear Invisible Readership, have followed my story for so many years now and these days you only see the toughest parts of my life and that really isn't accurate at all.

There is an odd twilight zone that BLMs with RBs find themselves in. Haha ok, ok, BLMs = baby lost moms (stupid term - they weren't misplaced and anyway, what about dads?) RBs = rainbow babies ( ie Children born subsequent to a loss). I really don't love the lingo!
Where was I?

Ah yes, the twilight zone.

On one hand people who were uncomfortable in your grief (& you yourself) want to pull you into normal life, forget all the sadness, move on, live. And on the other, you feel a longing to remain in griefland and the kinship you have with fellow grievers. There's a guilt even, to celebrating life. I could write an arb fluffy post and potentially hurt someone whose world is falling apart.

The frustrating (if you're the one suffering) and I guess good (if you're not) reality is that life carries on inevitably and incessantly. It's at once unfair and right.

I will be posting a few newsy, merry posts featuring pics and news of my beloved Kernel soon. Please ignore them if you're in a place where they will cause you pain. I hope they don't. I hope instead they bring you hope.