Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Dear Mrs Squirrel

You know those annoying moms? The ones who are super over protective of their kids? The ones who think their kid can do no wrong? Those deluded women who make us grit out teeth in embarassed annoyance? Ya... Let me never judge them again. I'm not quite as bad as that, but what I DO know is that feeling. That physical reaction that happens when someone insults or threatens your child in any way.

A few things have happened since Tandi's arrival. One was someone kissing her while they had a fever blister (what the hell were they thinking... you know how dangerous that can be for a baby?), one was someone saying she wasn't beautiful and one was someone insulting her outfit rather nastily (seriously! Why??).

In all cases these were people who actually love my child. They are not bad people and given some distance and some deep breaths I can admit that they weren't meaning to be as thoughtless, nasty or silly as I felt that they were.

My point is not about what happened. My point is about my reaction to what happened.

To the baffled men out there and to the future moms I thought you should know that this is why I have newfound sympathy or even (shudder) empathy for those annoying moms we all secretly roll our eyes at. When any of these things (or similar situations) occur this is what happens to a mom:

Your throat tightens in a nauseating, sickening kind of way. Your pulse quickens. Adrenaline pumps through your body. You fight to maintain a socially acceptable outward demeanor but inside you are throttling the person Ally MacBeal style. You feel as if the entire world is an evil place and as if you will never be able to forgive that person. If you had hackles (maybe some really hairy women do??) they would rise. Like a cat who senses something dodgy or dangerous nearby, your hair would rise all down your spine (again, that is if you have a hairy spine!) It is a PHYSICAL thing. Emotion-wise you want to wrap your child in your arms, covering them and protecting them from that person. You want to get your child safely away from the situation. And you very very much want to cry.

Now perhaps I should have started this post by assuring you that in real life I am a very calm, even-tempered, rational pacifist. I really and truly am. This is something which is pure instinct and actually I don't think it has too much to do with me having lost a daughter. I think it would be this way regardless.









And so, Mrs Squirrel, I wanted to let you know that when I saw these pics of you today there was no judgement on my part. Nope. I thought: You go girl!

We're not so different, you and I.

7 comments:

arkwife said...

I can TOTALLY relate!

My instinct to protect my daughter is almost overwhelming sometimes. Even a malicious looking glance in my daughter's direction turns me into Momzilla.

I guess that's why they say that the female of the species is more deadly than the male.

MeganTS said...

oh, i get this. i so SO get this post. i feel the same way!

Kristen said...

I understand this post completely! And how dare someone say your precious little baby isn't beautiful?! That's just mean! Deep down I know that my children can be obnoxious, what kid isn't? But when someone calls them out on a flaw I take offense to it... crazy huh?

clare said...

My kids are terrified of me getting 'protective' they know nothing like a mama scorned! Love this squirrel email.

Jenn said...

Ah, love the squirrel pictures! And yes, that's exactly what it's like, possible-hackles raised and everything. Thank you for the kind comment over at my blog, it was much appreciated.

Sharon said...

So very very true! And well put.

Angel said...

Oh I have SOOO been there and done that, on many many occasions! Call it mama bear or Mrs Squirrel, the hackles have come up in defense of my child!