Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Songs of heaven

There is so much music that makes me think of Sophia. I've always been partial to sad music, even in happy times. I've generally got the "depro playlist" going strong on any given day. Music is powerful. There's something in it that floors you, that breaks down your defences, that manages to get right in there, behind the wall, to the place you try to protect.

I've been reduced to tears, running on the treadmill at gym due to the words of songs (and that's songs from my "gym mix"!!) It's incredible how words seem to talk to my precise situation and yet are no doubt simulataneously speaking to so many others.

Just a few...

Carry you home - James Blunt
And they're all born pretty in New York City tonight.
And someone's little girl was taken from the world tonight.
Under the stars and stripes.
As strong as you were, tender you go.
I'm watching you breathing for the last time.
A song for your heart, but when it is quiet I know what that means and I'll carry you home.

and even Who knew - Pink
If someone said 3 years from now
you'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
coz they're all wrong
That last kiss, I'll cherish
until we meet again
And time makes it harder
I wish I could remember
But I keep your memory
You visit me in my sleep
My darling, who knew?
My darling, I miss you, My darling, who knew?

Here without you - 3 doors down
A hundred days have made me older since the last time that i saw your pretty face

A thousand lights have made me colder and i dont think i can look at this the same.
All the miles that seperate disappear now when im dreaming of your face.
I'm here without you baby,
but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you, baby, and I dream about you all the time.
I'm here without you, baby, but you're still with me in my dreams
and tonight, it's only you and me

One of the most beautiful things I've heard recently is a recording of Emma's Daddy playing a song for his little girl. You can hear it here. Be prepared... it'll break your heart.


Slyde said...

you are stronger than you know. i admire you.

Hels said...

Nothing like having a little weep in the office! You're right, it truly is beautiful and it did break my heart, especially reading his message to his little girl.

Blue Sunflower said...

Hey Caz...

Thanks for the message you left on my blog. I read your blog often, just havent commented. I do think that you are very brave and strong and I admire your strength in this trying time....

Thanks again. New and objective thoughts welcome anytime....


Anonymous said...

Great songs! I saw James Blunt a couple of years ago in concert but didn't have this album - have now downloaded it.

Have you heard this song about heaven? It is obviously quite a lot more religious but I still love it - we had it at Abigail's funeral


Emma's Daddy said...

I'm so pleased that you liked it, Caz. Thank you for putting a link on, I didn't expect that.

I hadn't heard some of those other songs you linked, thanks for widening my horizons.

ExMi said...

sheesh, just reading the lyrics made a few silent tears roll down my cheeks. had to duck to the loo so that the people in my office wouldn't think i was a loony.

you're so incredibly brave my girl. so incredibly brave.


Anonymous said...

I just happened to come across your blog at random...
First of all, I'm sorry about your loss. I also lost a baby - stillborn at 40 weeks, and her name is Sophia Leigh. :) What coincidence. I use music as an outlet for my grief...some songs just hit me. Thank you for posting, and take care. :) Courtney