Friday, August 05, 2011

Grief Season

It's pounced on me all of a sudden this year. In less than a month it will be 2 years. Can you even believe that?

And when I think about it, when I see (and hear) the first beginnings of spring, I am transported back to that first Grief Season. The Aftermath of The Watershed. And my walls begin to crumble and a lump takes up permanent residence in my throat - sometimes it sits there almost minding it's own business, but sometimes, when I allow myself to succumb to it, it swells. Choking me.


Nixgrim said...

I want to say it gets easier, but it doesn't, really. Sure, those choking moments become further apart, but they are always there, just below the surface.

I had another one of those mornings at church this morning. PJ was preaching on why a good God allows suffering (at least I had that as a heads up to expect tears). He started talking about how God will work ALL things together for the good of those who love God. He went on to talk about how God will make ALL things new - that the years the locust has eaten will be restored.

And then it struck me - I will get my daughter back. I WILL have 3 kids again, one day. And I promptly burst into tears. To have all my children around me, with me... well, I don't need to tell you. Can you imagine having all that pain undone, wiped away, as if it never was? Can you imagine time rewound? What a blessing that will be!

Angel said...

Aw Caz... I have no words for you.

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