Saturday, June 26, 2010

Update: The Kernel

Can you believe that in less than 2 weeks I'll be holding The Kernel at long long looooooooooong last!?

I am so excited.

It has been good to be home. To not be distracted by all the mayhem of work. It means I can be far more conscious of her movements and I now know her routine pretty well (ie less freaking out!). It's often just her and I so we chat a lot more which is great.

My mom (aka The Mothball) was here this week and we got stacks done. We've gone through all the baby clothes and sorted them by size. We've washed them all and all the blankets and also all the nappies. We even sewed little fabric heart tie backs for the nursery!

The nursery is looking gorgeous. In my rather biased opinion it is the most gorgeous nursery ever. I will do a photo post soon - there is one last thing that needs to be done - a bookshelf which will be painted this coming week - and then I promise there will be pics galore.

The hospital bags are packed for her and for me and now its just a case of counting down the last 13 sleeps.

Can't wait!

Updates: The Baby Shower

The BFF asked me what I wanted for a baby shower... last time it was a huge thing - probably 40 something people, food galore, games, the whole traditional deal.
It was a tough call deciding what to do this time round. One part of me wanted to say "let's rather leave it til she's born"... it seemed safer, less vulnerable. I hated sitting with a million gifts last time, a million happy congratulatory cards, and no baby.

But that wouldn't be right. The Kernel deserves to be celebrated and I can't live in the what ifs... not at this stage!

And so we decided on a totally different baby shower vibe. The Non-Baby Shower. A small group of very specifically selected girls - all people who have really been there for me and really understand and aren't about to moan about their kids or say anything stoopid and insensitive - including a friend who lost her baby at term a few weeks after me and 2 friends who'd recently miscarried - went for dinner. We went to a fancy restaurant in Somerset West - Henri's. It was such a great night. What an awesome group of people. The food was gourmet. Lovely. And we had a room to ourselves. I got spoilt with really really special things for the Little Princess and I think great memories were made.

I've had 5 baby showers now (yep! 3 with Sophia and 2 with The Kernel) and this was certainly the best one.

Updates: The Job

There is so much to update you on and my writing mojo is really not great at the
moment for some reason so I'm splitting this over a few posts.

Job first... on my last day in the office the boss called and said he didn't want me resigning, could i work from home for 6 months and then if I want to resign and consult that's that. (pretty much what I asked for in the first place)

So ya, that's cool.

My last day of work was awesome - sorted out my office, had a baby shower from my colleagues, then they had a staff football match, then a braai and then we watched the World Cup opening ceremony. Now that's how a day at the office is supposed to be.

Being on maternity leave is AWESOME!!! Loving it! The Band works largely from home so I get to see plenty of him and The Guv which is great :)

Saturday, June 12, 2010

The rollercoaster part two

Firstly all is fine. The Kernel is ok and we are both home now.

Since the last post there were one or two more scary moments - mostly due to nurses lacking tact, but never mind.

At the specialist EVERYTHING was checked and everything is fine. That being said, with the chance of repeated placental abruption the Specialist basically said that the closer I can stick to the hospital, the better. Scary to hear, but that's the nature of this particular little nasty: it can be so random and sudden and out the blue.

Well with that, I have pretty much decided not to leave Somerset West for the next (less than) 4 weeks.

On my 3rd (and last) morning in hospital one of the nurses got me quite shook up. For starters she asked if this was my first baby. I briefly explained. Her response was "ok, so second pregnancy, but first baby". "no," I said "second baby". How can someone not realise how hurtful that is - to reduce my child to a "pregnancy". It really hurt.

The other thing was that she said that if my baby was born now I wouldnt be able to hold her and I'd barely be able to touch her.

I think there is, however, a big bright side to the whole hospital story. Before this week I'd only ever been in hospital once - and it's not exactly the most happy memory. I've been bracing myself for The Kernel's birth... trying to prepare myself for reliving things, for facing the CTG machine for one (my recurring nightmare) and so on. But now, after being there days and having CTGs every couple of hours I think that some of the edge has been taken off and some of the association of hospital is at least not tragic. I think that having had a positive (or at least a fairly neutral) time in hospital now will hugely help on 9 July when I go in to deliver.

Also, I got chatting to the nurses/sisters and most of them were saying that The Kernel is very likely to go on oxygen and probably to have to spend some time in ICU. I would NEVER have expected that... my thought was that sure 36 weeks is early, but plenty of kids are born then and they're fine. Plus she'll be getting steroids for her lungs. But the nurses reckon that coz she's petite she may have to be in the NICU a bit.

How is the above a positive?

Well if I wasn't expecting that (which I totally wasn't before) then it would have been a hell of a shock and fright on the day. Now at least if it does have to happen I am prepared for it, and if it doesn't it's a bonus.

In other news...
I am now 32 weeks and it's as if the hospital stay suddenly woke my body up to the fact that I am in fact pregnant. I really hadn't had any of the pregnancy symptoms, but after a day or two in hospital I'm having Braxton Hicks contractions for the first time, I have the whole breathlessness thing going, my hips are all dodgy and out of joint and the infernal heartburn has begun... last time it started at 12 weeks so I can't complain too much but MAN it is as bad as I remember - like swallowing a ball of tin foil.

Workwise: After basically saying I'm likely to resign, the CEO has now said that I can in fact work from home for 6 months (which is what I originally requested). After that I will likely resign and work as a consultant for them and others.

Anyway, a bit of a factual post, but wanted to update you on the news.

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Riding the rollercoaster

WHAT A DAY!

After all the euphimistic optimism of yesterday: KAZAM!

I woke at 1.30 with bad back ache. De ja vu. There's still that stupid thing in me that is embarassed to overreact and put people out. I dopplered - all good. But the pain wasnt normal so I called the med aid 24 hour medical advice line. The sister there suggested that given "my history" - another of those delightful euphimisms - I should ask the hospital their thoughts. They said that given "my history" I should rather come in. Apologetically woke The Band and off we went.

Funny enough I felt perfectly calm. I could feel her moving and all so that was fine. Got to the hospital and there it was... the moment I've been dreading and nightmaring about for 9 months now.. The CTG machine. Stupid machine. It took at least 20seconds to find her heartbeat and when it did it was so quiet! (Ally McBeal inner voice screamed: "Crank up the volume lady!!!!") *shudder* it was a tough moment!

Anyway, they monitored baby's heartbeat for 30 mins and all looked fine but my doc said I must stay in hospital. Had a scan with her this morning - all fine (but placental abruption doesnt show on scans - but The Kernel was lying horizontally across me)and then another CTG but in this one there wasn't enough activity - the heartbeat was too stable!? Panic. Next thing I'm getting a steroid injection in case we need to do an emergency c-section... and this is the point at which I began to panic. She is only 31.5 weeks and she's little! SO little. Another CTG and off back to the doc... this time the CTG looked good as did the scan. The Kernel had now moved to breech and my back pain was gone so I'm thinking that her transverse position was what was causing the pain (I checked with Dr Google and that's totally possible!)

Anyway, I don't need to tell you the rollercoaster of calm, panic, calm, panic, peptalks from The Band, panic etc today has been. I am still in hospital. BLESS MY DOCTOR - she is taking NO chances! I will be monitored til tomorrow afternoon then I am going to the Fetal Assessment Clinic in Cape Town for an indepth scan to double triple check everything and from there we'll see.

Best case scenario? The Kernel decided to be creative in there and wound up in a very unusual position for this stage of pregnancy which made my back ache and we can carry on as planned to 36 weeks.

This won't be the last time I ask it, :) but please continue to keep The Kernel in your prayers.

Hoping to catch up on some sleep tonight!!!

Monday, June 07, 2010

4.5 weeks to go!

This is my last week in the office. Possibly ever. Hard to believe!!
Next week I'll work from home and then.. voila maternity leave. Bring It On!
Or as my countrymen like to say: Feel it. It is here!

I'm excited.... and scared and so on. But The Kernel has been a good little kicker lately and I've been sleeping better so I am feeling positive in general.
Here's a 4D scan taken on Thursday... she's sucking her arm/hand it seems.

video

Cool hey. Happy to see chubbyish cheeks - she is still small (about 1.4kg last week when the average is about 1.7kg). The scan day was bittersweet. Thursday marked 9 months since Sophia was born. There's something doubly sad that from now on as time passes there is more time that she hasn't been here than time she was here.

Anyway, this was just a quick one to show the 4D scan. Hope you are all well in Blogland x